Family fall out over a coffee table!

[PoppyBean]

I purchased a solid oak coffee table from my SIL about 4 years ago. She said she was getting rid, I said I loved it and asked how much she wanted for it, she wanted £30 so I paid and took my table.

I've just moved house and now have a toddler, my new lounge is an L shape and the coffee table doesn't really work anywhere in the room so I decided to sell it. I didn't really want to sell it as I still love it but it just doesn't fit. I done some research to see what's it's worth and what similar items are selling for and I sold it for £150.

SIL is fuming, says I've taken advantage and asked if i intend to share the profit. I said I paid the price you wanted you could of sold it yourself. I hadn't bought it to sell for profit and I'd be keeping it if it fit in my room but it doesn't.

Now my brother has text saying I've really upset her and she's shocked and disappointed at my greed.

SIL gifted me some baby items when my child was born. As they were gifted I asked what she wanted to do with them when I'd finished with them, she asked for some things back and said she wasn't bothered about the rest. I gave them away.

I think there's a huge difference between something you've been given as a gift, even if second hand and something you paid for so I don't feel like I have done anything wrong here.

Who is being unreasonable? Should I share the profit?

@KatherineOfAragon

I kind of get where SIL is coming from. A few years ago my DH gave my DB something he really wanted for his bedroom. It was a limited edition and DH said "if you ever decide you don't want it any more, pass it back rather than passing it on, please." That was agreed and that was that. Early last year, we visited for a family thing and DH asked to see the thing. DB went very sheepish and so did SIL. We dropped the subject but later, DSis told me after we left that DB told people it was awkward because he and SIL had sold it for a couple of thousand pounds two years previously.

We were fucking livid.

But you gave it to them and said you would like it back if they didn’t want it.

How is that the same as selling it to someone and not wanting it back?

They are being unreasonable OP. Abs stop doing her hair and nails for free! Cheeky of her.

@Bluntness100 How has the OP behaved badly? She didn't offer to buy the table for £30 the SIL ASKED for £30 for it because she couldn't be bothered with the hassle of researching what the 'table was worth and deal with time wasters! The OP didn't sell it on straight away she used it for four years then decided to sell it. The table was hers to with what she pleased as she paid for it fair and square.

The SIL was the one who kicked off over it and demanded a share of the profit and when that didn't work the brother tried to guilt trip the OP by saying they see it as taking from their kids yet the SIL has had ten years worth of beauty treatments that the OP has repeatedly said she didn't mind doing until this happened she was well within her rights to say to her brother that all the freebies SIL has had is also technically taking from her kids as well. The OP hasn't caused a family fall out the brother and SIL have with their cheeky fucker greedy behaviour. Cheeky fuckers will continue to behave like this because they rely on the fact that people are too nice and polite to call them out for it and give in to them for the sake of keeping the peace.

The OP wasn't rude or nasty in her response to her brother she merely pointed out that its a two way street they've profited from the OP a lot more than she has profited from them and they're begrudging her making £120 on a table SIL sold four years ago when they save that a month on nail and hair treatments! That's petty of the SIL to do that and shows she has no appreciation for the OP giving her freebies so the SIL will learn a hard lesson now she has to go elsewhere start paying the full price and it will serve her right for being a greedy bitch!

Dont think you can go back to doing anything for her for free again now. If you do you will just be encouraging her and getting used. If she takes them money then think she is showing that she is only bothered about a small sum of money and not you. She is very stupid to make this into an issue. And think the kids bit is to make you feel bad and not say anything.

You're in the right.

If you want to make things better between you and SiL and your Dbrother then just split it though.

We can only answer what we personally would do. I would have shared with her because she’s family and she did me a favour letting me have it so cheap in the first place.
I don’t sell things to family members but remember being really pissed off with DH’s niece when I gifted my daughter’s expensive doll’s house to her daughter. She sold it a couple of months later! I knew I could have sold it but thought I was doing a nice thing and expected her to pass it along to other children in the family when her daughter outgrew it, which she clearly didn’t in the couple of months she had it.

A few years ago my DH gave my DB something he really wanted for his bedroom. It was a limited edition and DH said "if you ever decide you don't want it any more, pass it back rather than passing it on, please." That was agreed and that was that. Early last year, we visited for a family thing and DH asked to see the thing.

Bloody hell that is controlling! You don't give someone something with strings attached, and then ask to see that thing like you are keeping tabs on it. Was it a gift or not?

OP I don't think you have done anything wrong and I think your text was very reasonable!

Have either of them replied?

My sister is often giving me things for the kids. If I sell them I always give her half the money.

I think she's bonkers tbh. Just shows that. " gifts" come with strings....except you paid for it. If course you are free to make a profit on it.

Think about your relationship with your brother. It’s not worth damaging your relationship because of SIL.

If it was me, I would contact DP and tell him how you feel about doing SIL nails and hair and then stop doing that and then give them 60 quid. The 60 quid is a small price to pay to stop doing her hair and nails

DB not DP

Boy oh boy, she is taking the piss big time, pulling the whole ‘the money has been taken from my children’ bollocks. Your response was perfect, OP, don’t back down.

Yes OP! Just seen the updates
Bloody good for you... 👏👏👏

I am guessing still no response from your very cheeky DB or SIL....

@StamfordHill

You read about the cf sister demanding her share after 4 years, and your mind is boggled that some people actually think that way. Then you read the replies and realise there are so many people with this mindset it's almost unreal.

I agree. So many people who are saying to just roll over. See the bigger picture. Take the higher ground.

It is this that means CFs carry on taking the piss!

@wowfudge not really. It was about gifting something and that person profiting 🤷🏼‍♀️

His reply was that I haven't done her hair for almost a year so it's not really a valid point.

I haven't done her hair for a year because we were in lockdown and then when that ended I was heavily pregnant and due in august, then I had a c section, had a new baby I wanted to protect from covid etc, then we went into lockdown again. She did actually go to a salon to have her hair done just before I was due, she text me and said it had cost her a fortune and they didn't do it exactly how she likes like I would and she can't wait for this to be over so we can get back to normal.

It's sad as I have tried so hard because they're family and always try to see the best in them and get others to as well but lockdown and all the difficulties this year has really highlighted who cares about me and my friendship and who cares about getting freebies.

What’s more important? Family or £60

Op yanbu! If sil be wanted more money she should have charged more , end of ! Cheeky moo sil

Just bread about free hair and nails
Meh , screw her

[quote Ostagazuzulum]@wowfudge not really. It was about gifting something and that person profiting 🤷🏼‍♀️[/quote]
It wasn't given to the OP for starters.

Wow so he's still trying to defend their shitty attitude. And why do posters keep asking you whats more important, family or £60. That's a question for them (guessing they'd choose the £60!)

I wouldn't do her hair and nails now even if she did pay. She can pay someone else to do a job she isn't happy with. All their own doing.