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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

So upset did i overreact?

179 replies

Confused543 · 29/01/2021 19:10

Me and DP were watching Gypsy (series) and theres a scene where she playfully slaps her partners face and says "dont go to my fucking coffee shop". Its meant to be really dark and psychological but for some reason it set us off and we laughed about it. That was yesterday.

So just now I gave DP a light slap (and I did make sure it was light) and said to him "dont go to my fucking coffee shop". Then he slapped me back surprisingly hard. I pulled back and said "ow that hurt" and he did it again! I dont know what happened but it really shocked me and I started crying. Now we arent talking. I feel like a dick. But it also created a weird feeling in me.

OP posts:

TheChip · 29/01/2021 19:52

Did you try and just laugh it off as an unexpected reaction? Did he get pissy or did things just get back to normal?

ElliFAntspoo · 29/01/2021 19:52

ROFLMAO.
This is hilarious.
You have a couple who think its acceptable to hit eachother.
You have to wonder if the kids see this sort of behaviour and what its teaching them.

Original poster

Confused543 · 29/01/2021 19:54

Urgh maybe I just need to leave this tonight. I went to the couch where he was lying looking hurt and said "look, maybe I overreacted, but you hurt me" and he said "well I didnt mean it" without looking at me. Then there was a silence and I said "I shouldn't have started it I guess but I thought it was funny" and he said "well it was funny". Then there was another silence and I said "so shall we continue watching?" and he gave a barely perceptible nod and then I got up and left pissed off

OP posts:

Bloodypunkrockers · 29/01/2021 19:55

[quote Confused543]@skylarkdescending
Yes he is a very defensive person. Its Friday night and I dont want to have this lingering over me so in going to go and sort it out now but hes probably going to act "wounded" and pissy[/quote]
Pissy. Drunk?

Jesus fucking Christ. You slapped him, he slapped you back. Move on

TheChip · 29/01/2021 19:56

It sounds like he has already moved on and you're not happy about it

BogForLife · 29/01/2021 19:56

I hope the two of you get this sorted in a way that feels well sorted, OP.

WhereDoMyBluebirdsFly · 29/01/2021 19:58

fuzzymoon

Don't apologise for crying !!!

Say to him. I was joking, it was acting out something we both watched and laughed about and you slapped me quite hard back twice.

I cried because it not only hurt but I'm shocked by your reaction.

Say this.

You're not in the wrong. You were being playful and he slapped you, twice. Now he's acting like he's hard done by?

Let him sulk. You haven't done anything wrong.

I do think there's a certain glee in these men who love to play the victim when they get a 'free pass' to hit a woman with no penalties like in this situation. "You slapped me so I slapped you!" Ignoring the relative hardness of the slaps and the intent behind them.

diddl · 29/01/2021 20:03

"I pulled back and said "ow that hurt" and he did it again! "

That's really strange imo.

Instead of apologising-he hit again.

Why would anyone do that?

Shrivelled · 29/01/2021 20:06

This exact same scenario happened with me and my best friend. We were 11 at the time.

CyberGhost · 29/01/2021 20:07

@Bluntness100

Nice you slapped him he slapped you. Both meant it as a joke both got upset by it.

Just don’t be slapping people op. You’ll find they won’t be tempted to slap you one back if you don’t.

She playfully tapped him on the face (imagine a cat pawing at something) once.

He then full on slapped her across the face, then whe she said "ow" he laughed and then slapped her harder

Jesus christ. For the amount of people on MN with degrees and jobs earning 100k+ very few of you can fucking READ!

lioncitygirl · 29/01/2021 20:08

Jesus wept. don’t go round ‘playful’ slapping anyone.

Backupthebus · 29/01/2021 20:10

Thank good you were there cyberghost to regale how light she tapped him!

CyberGhost · 29/01/2021 20:10

Oh wait @Bluntness100 she said "Ow, that hurt" and then pulled back, and then he still slapped her again, even harder! After she basically told him that he really hurt her!

But keep going with your victim blaming.

sapnupuas · 29/01/2021 20:10

Jesus christ. For the amount of people on MN with degrees and jobs earning 100k+ very few of you can fucking READ!

Honestly, one of the best statements I've ever read on here. 🤣🤣

CyberGhost · 29/01/2021 20:11

@Backupthebus

Thank good you were there cyberghost to regale how light she tapped him!

Thank god you were there to disprove me and he he was just flapping his hands around. Your point?

CyberGhost · 29/01/2021 20:12

@sapnupuas

Jesus christ. For the amount of people on MN with degrees and jobs earning 100k+ very few of you can fucking READ!

Honestly, one of the best statements I've ever read on here. 🤣🤣

Thank you! MN is meant to be overwhelmed with intelligent, high earning women who know everything about any given situation.

My mind honestly boggles

ElliFAntspoo · 29/01/2021 20:13

... so DH and I were sitting on the couch, and I gently jabbed him with a really sweet left hook and knocked his glasses clean off. Really took him by surprise. I was in stitches. Then he has the audacity to punch me back!

1Morewineplease · 29/01/2021 20:13

@sapnupuas

Are people missing where OP says she told him it hurt and he did it again?

Once was tit-for-tat, twice is abusive.

She slapped him first.

Backupthebus · 29/01/2021 20:13

You’re stating something as fact when all we have is one persons view.

TheChip · 29/01/2021 20:13

Cyberghost - nowhere does she say that he full on slapped her. Nor does she say he slapped her even harder the second time.

ElliFAntspoo · 29/01/2021 20:17

@Confused543

But it also created a weird feeling in me. Could you be any more grey in that description?

Username1983 · 29/01/2021 20:17

Oh god, this is familiar. I do stupid stuff trying to muck about and get it wrong and then feel stupid and get defensive. I hit my boyfriend with my boob the other day cos I was bored of being ignored whilst he played his games. Nipple got him right in the eye and really hurt him. And I cried cos I felt stupid You’ll be ok I’m sure - hope it’s all sorted now.

sapnupuas · 29/01/2021 20:20

@1Morewineplease

That doesn't mean he can hit her twice.

Joinedjustforthispost · 29/01/2021 20:22

I’m always telling the dc not to play rough or it will end in tears. This applies here! I do think you were dramatic crying, if you didn’t want the joke returned then you shouldn’t have started it? Grow up . I’m waiting for posters to tell me how ops husband could have killed her or is abusive

CyberGhost · 29/01/2021 20:25

OK, even if the OP did not get slapped harder a second time.

She playfully "Slapped" him. Take a moment, close your eyes and imagine you are reading a book and the words "playfully slapped" come up. I know any normal person wouldn't imagine a full punch to the face.

So if someone, after that, laughed comically like they were still joking, then slapped you back hard enough to physically hurt you (be it a light tap or a full blown punch in the face), then did exactly the same again after you recoiled and said loudly "ow, that hurt", you wouldn't be upset?

Not at all? You wouldn't feel that you saying "ow that HURT" was a signal for them to perhaps not do it again after LAUGHING about it.

Like I said. For a large bunch of high earning degree holders you all seem to be rather deluded to real life.

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