If you’re not in work, how much money do you get for spends from your partner?

[ShutUpAlex]

If they’ve already covered all the bills etc, how much would you expect to get for personal, walking around money into your own account?

Not enough information. We don’t know what is available. However you should certainly be able to spend money on yourself without asking for it or having to justify a cup of coffee.

Sorry, I see you are asking something a bit different but without context it’s meaningless. I could have a platinum Amex for my daily spending if the family budget allowed. The issue would be having no money if the budget did allow for that Amex card.

All bills/savings/child costs covered then 50/50 split of the disposable income.

From the other side, atm I work and DH is at home. We have never had a concept of personal spends. Our money is one pot whoever brings it in. After the bills are paid any money left over is there to be spent by whoever needs/ wants something, we know how much it is fair for either of us to spend without discussing and we know what sort of amount is a "check with the other person this is ok" sort of figure. I don't think it's helpful to discuss actual figures because all our financial situations are so different- I know people who could drop £300 on an item and consider that small scale spending in the same way I would think of spending a fiver, and people for who spending a fiver on a non essential would mean weeks of careful budgeting to free it up.

Ok say take home is 3 grand. Bills come to about 1300. So that’s 1700. 500 into savings and 200 into kids savings accounts.

Depends really? Do you have spare money? Are your bills covered. Does your DP have money to spend freely if not then no if yes then ofcourse

We have an agreed budget for disposable income but we don't spend much on things we don't need at all anyway.

I currently don’t work. I don’t have an allowance, I can spend whatever I want and we can afford of course, as our money is joint.

How long is a piece of string?

If your partner has massive balls (of string) then you can likely have more than if she/he has one small thread and has to use it to feed 8 children, you, 10 dogs, an iguana, and pay all the household bills.

I think the only important thing is that you discuss the string expenses between you, come up with a budget for general expenses as a couple, pick a savings goal every month, then have a reasonable split of whatever is left.

Totally depends on your finances. Someone telling you they have X or Y to spend is irrelevant and doesn't help you because they won't be in the exact same situation.

If I was a sahp, I'd expect to have equal access to family money and for us each to be able to spend the same amount of money.

@ShutUpAlex

Ok say take home is 3 grand. Bills come to about 1300. So that’s 1700. 500 into savings and 200 into kids savings accounts.

What are they doing with the left over cash? Are they freely spending it as they wish without discussions etc, Are you having to ask for basic thinks IE need new underwear.

YABU

Why don’t you have access to the joint account?

Money is always joint, as it should be. I don't work but do everything for the house, kids etc. It's team work.

Same as Aprilx - I don't work but all income/savings are pooled and we can both spend what we want/need and can afford. Neither of us has extravagant spending habits. Large purchases would be discussed but not in an asking permission kind of way.

We have a joint account for bills but separate personal accounts because I have bipolar disorder and if that’s have a manic episode I could bankrupt us both!

However much is needed and available.

When I've been a sahm, and when I've been working too, we had a joint account and we use the money in the pot as we need. I wouldn't have been a sahm under any other terms.

I am working, but when I wasn't I just spent what I wanted from the joint account.
Why would I get pocket money from my husband? That's just weird.

I do work now but I have always had access to the joint account, even when I wasn’t, and I spent what I wanted to (if we could afford it)

I haven't worked for 2 years and had DD last December.
When I gave up my job, we agreed that would do ad hoc admin work for DH (he's a company director and is rubbish at admin), I would also be responsible for the majority of housework and would be a SAHM when a child came along.
For this DH "pays" me £600 pcm. And from that I pay my phone bill, my dental plan & anything else I want.
Household bills including food shopping comes from the "joint" account - an account DH pays into but I have access to.

That's what works for us

I wouldn’t expect anything from someone who was just a partner. I’d get a job and pay my own way.

@ShutUpAlex

We have a joint account for bills but separate personal accounts because I have bipolar disorder and if that’s have a manic episode I could bankrupt us both!

Drip feed...

X post

Okay. Well you have £1000 left- what has to come out of that? Are you including food shopping in bills? Clothes for children? Car fuel/travel expenses (not that you can travel anywhere)? Would you rather save more?