To want DP to take his children out sometimes rather than roping me into his contact every week?

[OreoIce]

My partner lives with me in my small masionette, due to lockdown he has his children here every week as nowhere is open to take them.

I don't mind this generally as I'm very fond of the children but sometimes I want/need my own space. Today is one of those times as I feel run down.

I also don't think it's good (for them) that every time they see their dad they have to spend that time with me too.

WIBU to suggest he gets creative with his contact time and takes them to parks/on walks sometimes as opposed to just sitting in here watching tv or playing the PlayStation?

Go and rest in the bedroom and leave them to spend time together. U can tell them ur not feeling well/very sociable at the moment.
You could have a conversation with DP about them getting out for an hour or so by themselves going forwards, but I wouldn’t have it during their visit

So. You have a partner who clearly wants to spend time with his children, but you're only happy if he takes them somewhere else and lockdown means they have to spend time with him in the home you share. Why is he with you? Who gets with a man knowing he has children that he loves and then sulks when he does his bit looking after them? Find a man who doesn't have children, jesus, who needs a clearly resentful step-mother when you're growing up? Selfish cow

@Elisi

Wow. Can only imagine what kind of person you are to call a stranger a selfish cow because they want some time alone because they feel unwell physically and mentally.

Did you even bother to read all of her posts? If you did and still want to name call then it says a lot about you and nothing great.

@phoenixrosehere problem is rather then go to bed to rest she is expecting her partner and his kids to walk around in the miserable hours aimlessly when to top it off there is no where to go and nothing to do. The kids are not 5 and 6 they won't want to put on some rainboots and raincoat to jump puddles or go to pack in miserable weather.

Why don't you go out on your own instead? I know there's not much open atm but surely you can find somewhere to go? Make the most of it.

[quote LadyStarlight]@PinkSparklyPussyCat they're there for 2 days, not full time. So you'd be complaining about kids enjoying themselves for a couple of days per fortnight if you were in one of the other flats? Sheesh. [/quote]
It depends if how long they were screaming and shouting for but if it went on for hours then yes, I would speak to the parents. There's a difference between asking if they could get the kids to tone it down a bit a bit and actually complaining.

@PinkSparklyPussyCat but op is not just asking them to tone it down is she? she wants them completely out the house

People on here need to make their minds up about partners who move into their OH’s home.

I got flamed on a thread (posted under NC) for saying that I was having a minor, lighthearted issue after moving in with my partner earlier this year. I was told that if I didn’t like it I should move out, that I should be grateful he was letting me live with him and it was his house, asked why I didn’t own my own house, that I should put up with it until “we” can get “our own” house, that because he owned the house it’s his way not mine... all because I said I didn’t like a piece of his furniture!!

But yeah, no one on here asking why OPs bloke doesn’t own his own house where he could see his kids.....

Could both of your budget stretch to a Campervan? That way either you or dad and his children could venture out regardless of the weather to kayak, cycle, fish, skateboard, have meals, be warm, read or play video games in the countryside. Or if you took the camper, you’d have complete autonomy and solitude

If you were my partner and felt this way when my kids were only around twice a week I would not be with you.

That aside I understand you would probably like to sit and have a glass of wine or slice of cake with a friend instead of your only interaction outside your relationship being kids.

However, as it is you who has an issue you should feel free to talk to your partner or find ways for you to get out the house. I don't think many kids are excited by a walk in the cold after having a year of already being forced to pretend walks are as fun as theme parks. It's cold, it's been a crap year, people are bored and if the kids are happy watching tv and playing on the ps then let them. If they hated it i'm sure you would have said, but seems the only person with an issue was you.

Tell your partner you don't like spending as much time as you've had to with the kids and you'll be taking the bedroom and need time away from them...

If they hated it i'm sure you would have said, but seems the only person with an issue was you

Ahh and here we have the typical 'so long as everyone else in the family is happy, screw how the SM feels in her own home'..

as it is you who has an issue

Wow people can be so unkind on here. OP has said she is struggling with her physical and mental health. She has already said she usually enjoys having her step kids there and joins in etc.

If she was the DC’s biological Mum who needed some piece and quiet for an hour or so people would be all for it and probably slagging her DH off if he didn’t take the kids out!

@SharkBrilliant

People on here need to make their minds up about partners who move into their OH’s home.

I got flamed on a thread (posted under NC) for saying that I was having a minor, lighthearted issue after moving in with my partner earlier this year. I was told that if I didn’t like it I should move out, that I should be grateful he was letting me live with him and it was his house, asked why I didn’t own my own house, that I should put up with it until “we” can get “our own” house, that because he owned the house it’s his way not mine... all because I said I didn’t like a piece of his furniture!!

But yeah, no one on here asking why OPs bloke doesn’t own his own house where he could see his kids.....

Yep, agree.

It's like as soon as it concerns kids the partner has to put up with everything and the parent doesn't have to put up with anything at all. If OP had moved into her partner's house she'd be being told it's his home so his rules - doesn't seem to work the other way round.

The reality is if you're child-free then a whole weekend with kids living in your house is bloody difficult and intense. People saying that OP has the rest of the time without the kids - yeah that's true but when you don't have any kids that doesn't feel like a blessing, that's just normal life. Having kids move in for the weekend is a total step-change and it can be hard.

It sounds like OP does loads with and for the kids, she would just like an hour or so to herself at home on the weekends when they're around. If I had children and then moved in with my child-free partner in their home, I'd be very conscious of making sure it wasn't too much for them when my kids were around and would happily take them for a walk for an hour to give my partner a little peace!

Bloody hell, prior to covid, my bf has even volunteered to nip to Tesco's with his two to, in his own words, give me a break. Because he appreciates that it's intense since they're not my own.

@Bibidy problem is other then going out to the park for the millionths time while pretending it is so much fun in this weather is not really going to be much fun for the kids is it? pre lockdowni would agree yes take them out. The problem is right now there is no where for them to go and do something out the house for hours on end so that OP can have time on her own