AIBU to wish for a dog-free park?

[PerspicaciousGreen]

I live in a lovely outer London borough with about ten parks within half an hour's walk, full of young families, great place to bring up children... except for the dogs.

My 2yo DS is TERRIFIED of dogs and, unfortunately, so am I. He's got it from me, I know, and it's just awful. I was so scared as a child I'd cry if I had to walk past a dog on the street and after years of work I got to the point where I felt I wasn't very comfortable around dogs but could live a normal life. However, seeing my DS being nervous around them has brought it all back and honestly now I come out in a cold sweat if I see a dog. I try to put a brave face on it for him, I really do, but he can tell I'm scared and we just wind each other up, I think.

So I find myself barely able to use any of the parks because every single one is full of dogs all the time. The one closest to our house, the fenced-off playground is right next to the entrance so we can do a sprint in and then it's OK. But one time several months ago, someone's dog got in (to their credit, they leapt in straight away and manhandled it out again) and he STILL talks about it and looks for dogs before he will play.

But the other ones, it's like a tiny little island of playground in the middle of acres and acres of dogs chasing each other, barking, etc. It's not even about whether their owners are responsible or not any more. If a dog so much as looks at DS, he freaks. And there are lots of owners who trot out the old "He's just being friendly!" while I hold a sobbing DS and try not to cry myself!

There is just no open space in the whole of our neighbourhood that doesn't have dogs in it. I'd love to be able to go for walks, take him out for a picnic, kick a ball around... But we can never relax because there's always a dog. Even if we weren't scared, we'd end up tripping over them or having one come over for a taste of our sandwiches.

I know IABU to be so scared of dogs. I do. But AIBU to wish there was one dog free park in this apparent suburban park paradise?

I took DDog for a walk a couple of summers ago in Finsbury Park (the park itself) where there is a dog-free picnic area that's fenced off.

Unfortunately, while the main areas of the park were full of picnickers, the picnic area was deserted.

Based on that I'm not sure that, outside of MN, there's much demand for dog free picnic areas, if they aren't used when provided.

I wish our parks had dog free zones as it seems like the world and his wife own a dog where I live. I like dogs but with so many about they get in the way if you are trying to play a ball game or run or have a picnic. I just want to turn up at a park do the thing I came to the park to do and not be interrupted by them. We were playing table tennis at the park and a small dog jumped in the air grabbed the ball when it blinded off the table. It of course broke the ball by denting it with its teeth. The owner was pleading with it to let go, I actually couldn't fathom why she was taking to a dog like it was a reasonable human being- completely irrational in my mind! She was apologetic blah blah blah but that was the end of the game as it was the only one we had on us. I find it annoying that the activity she was doing I.e impacted on my chosen activity at the park.

All because another owner can't be bothered to train their dog. There are so many dogs with huge extendable leads that trip you up and I'm sure it's down to an inability to train the dogs. My DD's friend has a dog that was bought in lockdown m, it's now 20 months and is still bounding around, biting you, ruining your clothes. The friend's mum expects you to act in a certain way around it and she anpthromorphises it.

I was attacked by a Doberman when I was three and it left me with bites to my hands and face (thankfully faded with age!) and a horror of dogs.

This lasted for about 18 months, when my DSDad decided enough was enough and got me the tiniest puppy he could find. It was a Jack Russell terrier and she actually fit in my cupped hands. It was impossible to be scared of something so small and helpless and growing up with her gave me the most amazing companion.

I'm still nervous when I see a Doberman but my fear of 'all' dogs has completely gone. It is possible to change your / your child's perceptions of dogs - and in your son's case I'd say it would be damaging to him if you don't at least try.

Seriously the best thing you could do for you and your child is to get a dog

Well you're not unreasonable to want a dog free area, play parks are dog free areas and are usually fenced off so dogs can't get in so you do have that.
I find it absolutely ridiculous that you have let your phobia affect your child so much. You need to sort this out. It should not have got to the point where your child needs help and he's terrified and crying anytime a dog looks in his direction.

@QuizzlyBear, that’s a wonderful story. Jacks really are such wonderful little dogs.

I wish I could help your son, OP. We have a tiny Jack, she weighs just 5kg and is the softest little thing you could possibly imagine. I hope you can find a way to conquer your fear and his. I think he needs to be gradually encouraged to make friends with a dog like mine if you can find one.

What about if someone was scared of strange men - tell them to get married??

A strange man? WTF is a strange man?

Yanbu and I’m a dog owner.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

What about if someone was scared of strange men - tell them to get married??

A strange man? WTF is a strange man?

Most of them in my experience!

Most of them in my experience!

Well I could agree with that, but wondering what the OP means by strange? What traits do these strange men have that people would be scared of?

an explosion in dog ownership
followed by an explosion of dog shit:(

There's no reason why most decent sized parks couldn't have fenced off areas just for free running sociable dogs, I'd love it. My dog is friendly and will walk up to people but she doesn't jump on them or anything, if they ignore her she walks off.

I do think you need to work on his dog fear though.

You don't have to like dogs and dogs shouldn't be approaching you but your reaction is very extreme and sadly causing anxiety in your very young child.
Please get some help since the fear is irrational to the actual potential harm.

Haven't read the full thread but I think yabu a bit. It's fine that you don't like dogs. But other people do. They choose to keep them as pets and want to walk them in parks. That's not unreasonable, it's life. Dogs exist and we have to live alongside them as we do all creatures.

If your issue is with irresponsible dog owners who don't pick up poo or allow their unruly dogs off the lead to approach others then that's a bit different and I can understand that. But I don't think it's fair to ban dogs from certain parks unless you're happy with kids being banned from them too

Actually I think most dogs would love doggy areas where they could run around with lots of other dogs and play. But they'd have to be able to access them by being walked on the lead through the non dog bits to get to the special dog park bit. Would that satisfy people? Have dogs on leads in parks except in special zoned off dog areas?

Our local park is dog free in the large play area. Except it's not fenced off. So many times over the years we've been having a picnic lunch or tea there and had dogs run right through the food, or take some of it! Yes, the dog may be harmless, but it's just trashed our food!

@scentedgeranium

Actually I think most dogs would love doggy areas where they could run around with lots of other dogs and play. But they'd have to be able to access them by being walked on the lead through the non dog bits to get to the special dog park bit. Would that satisfy people? Have dogs on leads in parks except in special zoned off dog areas?

It would absolutely work for mine. She’d love it.

@contrmary wow. What batshit thinking. I wouldn't be here without my dog

Dogs exist and we have to live alongside them as we do all creatures
dogs are not wildlife, they are not part of the natural world that we should respect and preserve, you are not protecting an endangered species here, the last few polar bears etc
they are a species extensively modified by humans to suit human needs and purposes
just like other livestock have been bred and modified to suit human purposes

@yohoheaveho right, but they still exist and they are still a part of life and humans have to live alongside them.

Plenty of London parks have dog-free areas.

YABVU, anyway. I'm not a dog owner but seeing dogs caper around gladdens my heart.

As a runner and walker who spends a lot of time in parks I also have to say that I simply don't recognise the MN strawman (strawdog?) of out-of-control canine beasts constantly careering into people, jumping up at them, stealing food, scaring kids. It just doesn't happen with anywhere near the frequency people on this thread claim, and on the rare occasion I've seen it the dog has been swiftly followed by a very apologetic owner. (Personally I don't mind dogs coming to say hello and wish more of them would do it!)

However I do see, very frequently, parents who seem to think public space is their child's personal playground, and who seem totally uninterested in controlling their child. When I go for a run in a certain park I'm more likely than not, on a road within it that's also used by traffic, to have to suddenly swerve to avoid running into a child wandering into my path. I always want to shout that if I'd been a car I wouldn't have been able to do that. The parent rarely seems bothered!

I will fully admit I initially got quite irritated and thought you were being unreasonable. However I completely take it back , you seem to be one of the few that it is a genuine phobia. I honestly feel for you because you completely recognise it's not something you wanted to hand down to your DS. You also have a plan to resolve it for your DS.

I don't think you are unreasonable at all. I have a DDog and I agree with you , getting dog is a huge commitment and not something appropriate in this case. Look I love my dog but that's fine for me. Actually my dog is always on the lead because she genuinely prefers it. There is a park we go to (it's extremely well known as a dog park....whilst it's not official absolutely noone local who doesn't like dogs would go there.) And I let her off the lead , she sits by my feet and refuses to go anywhere, unless she sees one of the kamikaze squirrels that play chicken with half a dozen dogs at a time and then sit in a tree and laugh at them. She never goes the full hog and stops after a few yards because frankly she knows they would win in a fight. So i literally have a dog who stays by my side , doesn't bark (no i mean literally ever....i have never once heard her bark) and still i would not let her go up to other people. (I mean in her case she actually hides behind my legs because other people , cats , dogs , on one occasion an aggressively blowing leaf scare her.).

I think you are absolutely right to be pissed off at people letting dogs bound up to you or DS.

Unfortunately i do think as others said , if rubbish owners let their dogs bound up to you they probably won't respect a dog free park.

I'm not sure what the answer is but you are not being unreasonable I hope things work out.

You need to get help for your phobia because it’s clearly rubbing off on your DS and won’t help him in the longer term at all.