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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wish for a dog-free park?

311 replies

PerspicaciousGreen · 27/01/2021 18:33

I live in a lovely outer London borough with about ten parks within half an hour's walk, full of young families, great place to bring up children... except for the dogs.

My 2yo DS is TERRIFIED of dogs and, unfortunately, so am I. He's got it from me, I know, and it's just awful. I was so scared as a child I'd cry if I had to walk past a dog on the street and after years of work I got to the point where I felt I wasn't very comfortable around dogs but could live a normal life. However, seeing my DS being nervous around them has brought it all back and honestly now I come out in a cold sweat if I see a dog. I try to put a brave face on it for him, I really do, but he can tell I'm scared and we just wind each other up, I think.

So I find myself barely able to use any of the parks because every single one is full of dogs all the time. The one closest to our house, the fenced-off playground is right next to the entrance so we can do a sprint in and then it's OK. But one time several months ago, someone's dog got in (to their credit, they leapt in straight away and manhandled it out again) and he STILL talks about it and looks for dogs before he will play.

But the other ones, it's like a tiny little island of playground in the middle of acres and acres of dogs chasing each other, barking, etc. It's not even about whether their owners are responsible or not any more. If a dog so much as looks at DS, he freaks. And there are lots of owners who trot out the old "He's just being friendly!" while I hold a sobbing DS and try not to cry myself!

There is just no open space in the whole of our neighbourhood that doesn't have dogs in it. I'd love to be able to go for walks, take him out for a picnic, kick a ball around... But we can never relax because there's always a dog. Even if we weren't scared, we'd end up tripping over them or having one come over for a taste of our sandwiches.

I know IABU to be so scared of dogs. I do. But AIBU to wish there was one dog free park in this apparent suburban park paradise?

OP posts:
lockdownconfused · 28/01/2021 18:26

I feel that any open space with a play park or sports playing fields should be dog free or at least dogs on leads on main paths only! I hate the dog mess I hate the over enthusiastic dogs that jump all over me and I honestly don't see why owners find it acceptable to let their dogs run free with little children about.

Yohoheaveho · 28/01/2021 18:27

[quote LST]@yohoheaveho right, but they still exist and they are still a part of life and humans have to live alongside them. [/quote]
if your house was infested with rats would you 'learn to live alongside them' because 'they exist'
or would you decide that you didnt want to put up with this annoying health hazard?

rwalker · 28/01/2021 18:28

I'd be happy with dogs on leads at all time proper leads not endless fucking washing line ones.
If anybody think this is unfair blame irriesposible dog owners who spoil it for everyone .
Not the rest of us who don't want to be jumped on slavered on and dog shit everywhere.

HettieMills · 28/01/2021 18:29

There should be areas where dogs have to be on the lead, and areas where they don't have to be. Problem solved.

LST · 28/01/2021 18:29

@yohoheaveho totally none comparable. But I will bite, I wouldn't kill the rats. I'd get humane traps and release them.

NuniaBeeswax · 28/01/2021 18:41

"if your house was infested with rats would you 'learn to live alongside them' because 'they exist'
or would you decide that you didnt want to put up with this annoying health hazard?"

I wouldn't be crying and shaking if a rat looked at me...

VinylDetective · 28/01/2021 18:46

@Yohoheaveho, you pop up on every thread even hinting at the presence of a dog and spout canine hatred. We get it - you have an irrational hatred of dogs, you contribute nothing.

Yohoheaveho · 28/01/2021 18:54

[quote VinylDetective]@Yohoheaveho, you pop up on every thread even hinting at the presence of a dog and spout canine hatred. We get it - you have an irrational hatred of dogs, you contribute nothing.[/quote]
Thanks Vinyl:) hope you have a nice day:)

Ylvamoon · 28/01/2021 18:59

There should be areas where dogs have to be on the lead, and areas where they don't have to be. Problem solved

These places already exist.

Sendingasurprise · 28/01/2021 19:01

I agree. There should be at least one dog-free
park in every town or city. DD doesn't like dogs rushing upto her and most walks when she was tiny involved panic and tears as yet another terrier bounded up to her with some nonchalant owner in the distance bellowing,'don't worry, he won't hurt you'! She couldn't begin to rationalise and control the fear until she was around 12.

PerspicaciousGreen · 28/01/2021 21:09

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion

What about if someone was scared of strange men - tell them to get married??

A strange man? WTF is a strange man?

A man you don't know - a stranger. Didn't your mother ever warn you about strange men?? Grin (Always men, for some reason, never strange women...)
OP posts:
spaceghetto · 28/01/2021 21:13

@gannett case closed then, if you haven't seen it happen, it must not happen then.

QueenOfLabradors · 28/01/2021 21:33

{@PerspicaciousGreen Heya, I'm a professional dog carer/trainer/behaviourist, and have been for nearly eighteen years now. Several of my clients have become PAT dogs over the years (Pets As Therapy), this is mostly about going into care home/hospital environments to help people who are stuck indoors due to limited physical mobility or learning disabilities or similar. The important thing is that these dogs are pretty well bomb-proof. There is probably a branch of Pets As Therapy somewhere not too far from you, who may be able to suggest a good person with a good chilled out dog who could help start the process of helping your child to work around living with dogs in the environment.

QueenOfLabradors · 28/01/2021 21:37

Also someone upthread mentioned learning about recognising dog body language - yy, this is fascinating in its own right, as well as being helpful to anyone who is out and about.

Meanwhile going back to the very beginning of the thread, yy zoning some bits of open space for humans only and others for dogs to relax and enjoy seems entirely sensible to me.

Peace43 · 28/01/2021 21:46

My dog is anxious of kids. I hate parents who won’t stop their kids from approaching my poor puppy and sticking their hands in his face. I’d like parks with no kids please.

scentedgeranium · 28/01/2021 22:14

While my dog isn't an official Therapy dog, he has been into our local Nursing Home and the residents absolutely loved it. He started visiting (with me!) bc my mother in law was a resident. We quickly realised that the ladies and gents were clamouring to say hello to him. And he obliged! They all had memories of their own dear departed dogs, or dogs they knew as children. Even those with dementia. It was really touching.
Sadly 2020 put a stop to our visits

Hollyhoohaa24 · 28/01/2021 23:02

@Yohoheaveho so what do you suggest we do then? Make dogs extinct because some people don't like them?

TheOtherMaryBerry · 29/01/2021 07:57

As a runner and walker who spends a lot of time in parks I also have to say that I simply don't recognise the MN strawman (strawdog?) of out-of-control canine beasts constantly careering into people, jumping up at them, stealing food, scaring kids. It just doesn't happen with anywhere near the frequency people on this thread claim, and on the rare occasion I've seen it the dog has been swiftly followed by a very apologetic owner.

I think it varies massively by area. We live in a small northern city and since we've lived here we've barely had any issues with dogs. We live opposite a field where people tend to let their dogs off lead and we've never been chased, have only had one dog stealing our ball incident with lots of apologising and the dog poo isn't too bad (still would rather absolutely none!) The parks tend to be well maintained and the big lovely park nearby has on and off lead areas and staff around to keep an eye.

However we used to live in a bigger city, and it was a nightmare. I could barely take DS anywhere, every small park was full of dogs off lead with no recall, tied up at the playground and barking at the children, dog poo everywhere. It made it impossible to go to a park with a small toddler. I had a couple of really horrible incidents and I think it's right to be wary.

I feel fortunate that we don't have so many issues now but clearly lots of people do. I really think that dog ownership needs to be managed far more and something needs to be done about those irresponsible owners.

RedHelenB · 29/01/2021 08:10

YouShouldLeave

Cantbbothered

Not at all. I wish for child free parks all the time.

This is my dream too!!

How pathetic. I'm a dog owner btw, but parks are for children to play in.

dontdisturbmenow · 29/01/2021 08:17

So because you've never experienced/witnessed something, it doesn't exist?
I'm questioning if it happens the way people scared of dogs describe it.

Such as referring to a dog 'chasing' a child actually being just a dog running around that happens to do so in the vicinity of the child but no interest in them.

A friend of mine is very scared of dogs and very sorry when we are out. She will hide behind me saying a dog is coming after her when he is just sniffing the air walking past.

Fear can distort perception in quite dramatic ways.

Lanzo · 29/01/2021 08:56

@Cantbbothered

Not at all. I wish for child free parks all the time.
If everyone took their children to piss and shit in the local parks then I would definitely want child free parks as well.
tenbananasaday · 29/01/2021 09:15

OP, I sympathise with you as it sounds like a genuine phobia and I image it must be really hard.

As for some of the other posters. A popular saying springs to mind... never trust anyone who doesn't like animals!

StillGoingToWork · 29/01/2021 09:19

I love dogs and kids. (I have a cat because our lifestyle doesn't suit a dog) I think parks are public spaces and both dogs and kids should be allowed to use them. You can train both: Your dog not to jump up etc and for kids to ask owners if they can pet their dog.

I also think dog owners need training in where to buy poo bags, to take them with them on walks, how to use them and where to dispose of them. It's simple in my brain but some dog owners struggle.

MyVoiceIsQuiet · 29/01/2021 10:20

In the event there is a number of parks close by I agree with with. I live near the coast, and a number of beaches are dog free for half the year. If they can do it with beaches then they should do it to parks too.
Too add, I am a dog owner and this would not bother me as long as I had access to a park with the dog

Draineddraineddrained · 29/01/2021 20:07

@tenbananasaday

As for some of the other posters. A popular saying springs to mind... never trust anyone who doesn't like animals!

I "like" wild animals in as much as I find them fascinating and beautiful and love learning about their ways.

Domesticated animals not so much. Cats are ok but do nothing for me really. Dogscicfind genuinely off-putting precisely because of all the ways they are not like wolves - so dumb, so needy, so ridixulous-looking in some breeds (basically all the things humans have done to them to make them useful/"cute" - and all the ways they are (i.e. will still occasionally rip the face off a toddler while their owners bleat about how "they wouldn't hurt a fly"). They are unpredictable and dangerous and I don't want them roaming loose.

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