AIBU to wish for a dog-free park?

[PerspicaciousGreen]

I live in a lovely outer London borough with about ten parks within half an hour's walk, full of young families, great place to bring up children... except for the dogs.

My 2yo DS is TERRIFIED of dogs and, unfortunately, so am I. He's got it from me, I know, and it's just awful. I was so scared as a child I'd cry if I had to walk past a dog on the street and after years of work I got to the point where I felt I wasn't very comfortable around dogs but could live a normal life. However, seeing my DS being nervous around them has brought it all back and honestly now I come out in a cold sweat if I see a dog. I try to put a brave face on it for him, I really do, but he can tell I'm scared and we just wind each other up, I think.

So I find myself barely able to use any of the parks because every single one is full of dogs all the time. The one closest to our house, the fenced-off playground is right next to the entrance so we can do a sprint in and then it's OK. But one time several months ago, someone's dog got in (to their credit, they leapt in straight away and manhandled it out again) and he STILL talks about it and looks for dogs before he will play.

But the other ones, it's like a tiny little island of playground in the middle of acres and acres of dogs chasing each other, barking, etc. It's not even about whether their owners are responsible or not any more. If a dog so much as looks at DS, he freaks. And there are lots of owners who trot out the old "He's just being friendly!" while I hold a sobbing DS and try not to cry myself!

There is just no open space in the whole of our neighbourhood that doesn't have dogs in it. I'd love to be able to go for walks, take him out for a picnic, kick a ball around... But we can never relax because there's always a dog. Even if we weren't scared, we'd end up tripping over them or having one come over for a taste of our sandwiches.

I know IABU to be so scared of dogs. I do. But AIBU to wish there was one dog free park in this apparent suburban park paradise?

I’d love to have a dog free park! When DD was a baby I had a few bad experiences with dogs in parks (jumping up at her in the sling or shoving their noses into her pram) it’s scary because babies and toddlers are so defenceless. And in a big park the owner’s normally out of sight!

And it would be lovely to have a picnic in the park on a rug without random dogs running up to snatch food!

I think parks should be divided into different areas; enclosed dog parks, then dog-free picnic areas, sports areas, playground areas, quiet relaxation areas like rose gardens. Cafe areas should be dog-free too.

So many people let their dogs off lead in parks with signs up saying ‘all dogs must be kept on leads’ or take them into the kids play areas which have ‘no dogs’ signs on the gates! I think we should just ban dogs from public parks as people can’t be trusted.

And lots of people don’t pick up the poo or cram it into overflowing stinking bins.

Plenty of other places to walk dogs (like woods, fields, footpaths over farmland).

I think parks should be for children and people wanting some fresh air, not a dog exercise zone.

My child’s been knocked over by over-boisterous dogs more than once in our local park, once into the mud, so she’s fearful of dogs now.

There are a lot more dog owners now since public parks were first put in. There just isn’t the space for all the dogs! It used to be the odd family that had a dog now it’s two children and get a dog.

I have had dogs most of my life but because of work I can’t have one and I have become so aware of how they intrude on life. I would love a dog free park and dog free beach, dog free woods ! I would love to visit an outside space without seeing dog poo and dog poo bags, it would be lovely

Cafe areas should be dog-free too.

You'd literally bankrupt all the cafés. In the winter, covid notwithstanding, pretty much the only people in the parks are dog walkers.

Fair weather park users don't get a monopoly decision on how other people use the park.

I think we should just ban dogs from public parks as people can’t be trusted.
Plenty of other places to walk dogs (like woods, fields, footpaths over farmland).

Perhaps you've forgotten that dog walkers also pay the council tax and therefore contribute to park maintenence?

Non-park areas aren't accessible to people who live in a city and / or don't drive through age, disability, finance, or choice. What do you think 90 year olds with a Yorkie, epileptics, those on low incomes and people who choose more environmentally friendly methods of transport should do when it comes to exercising their dog?

As a responsible dog owner, even if I could there's no fucking way I'd walk my dog in the countryside, because I know full well that if he saw livestock he'd chase them (rescue, I believe brought up in London where there was no reason for him to see livestock, and of a breed bred to chase furry things, so don't blether on about training).

Fair weather park users don't get a monopoly decision on how other people use the park.

^this^

I use two parks generally. One has a gated dog area - and dogs aren’t allowed in the main grass area. The cafe is for everyone. While during the summer it’s frequented by everyone - in the winter it’s about 90% dog walkers in there

The second park I use has a cafe “hut” type of thing - so all chairs are outside - and both summer and winter it’s about 90% dog owners who use it.

It seems incredibly entitled that people that use the park for less than 25% of the year want to dictate what happens within it.

The second park I use has a cafe “hut” type of thing - so all chairs are outside - and both summer and winter it’s about 90% dog owners who use it.

possibly because the dog owners put off other people from using the cafe.

there is s lovely cafe in a park which we go to a lot.
seating is outside in a fenced off dog free area. it is always busy and it is lovely not to have to go past growling dogs under tables or dogs trying to steal food.

‘Cafe areas should be dog-free too’

You'd literally bankrupt all the cafés. In the winter, covid notwithstanding, pretty much the only people in the parks are dog walkers

Not where I live. The parks are used by families with young kids all year round. The cafes were full of non-dog owners in winter before lockdown. I don’t think it’s hygienic to have dogs and dog hair in a cafe. And you always get some off lead who snatch food or fight with each other!

‘I think we should just ban dogs from public parks as people can’t be trusted. Plenty of other places to walk dogs (like woods, fields, footpaths over farmland).’

Perhaps you've forgotten that dog walkers also pay the council tax and therefore contribute to park maintenence?

They can still use the park; just without the dog(s). We all pay council tax to maintain public spaces, but off lead or badly trained dogs mean a lot of people don’t feel safe using it. Especially older people who fear being knocked over by a bouncy dog, or mums with babies and toddlers.

Non-park areas aren't accessible to people who live in a city and / or don't drive through age, disability, finance, or choice. What do you think 90 year olds with a Yorkie, epileptics, those on low incomes and people who choose more environmentally friendly methods of transport should do when it comes to exercising their dog?

I wouldn’t get a dog if I couldn’t exercise it anywhere other than the local park.
They can take it for walks around the residential areas or pay a dog walker to drive further afield. Dogs can travel on buses and trains too.

As a responsible dog owner, even if I could there's no fucking way I'd walk my dog in the countryside, because I know full well that if he saw livestock he'd chase them (rescue, I believe brought up in London where there was no reason for him to see livestock, and of a breed bred to chase furry things, so don't blether on about training)

I hope he’s always on a lead if he can’t be trusted not to chase small furry things. Like children or small furry dogs in parks? How is a park safer than a field of sheep?

Not where I live. The parks are used by families with young kids all year round. The cafes were full of non-dog owners in winter before lockdown

This patently isn’t true. While of course on a nice bright winters day it may be the case. No one in their right mind goes to the park when it’s tipping it down, or grey and freezing - except the dog owners (or very committed joggers).

I tend to go a park most days at some point and that ranges from smaller ones to one of the huge royal parks that (in usual times) attracts visitors from around the world - all are pretty deserted when the weather isn’t great - except for the dog walkers.

No one in their right mind goes to the park when it’s tipping it down, or grey and freezing - except the dog owners (or very committed joggers).

I take DS to the park every day, no matter what the weather, and once a week we go to the big park with cafe etc. It's rarely busy yes, but even in the middle of winter or tipping it down there are usually a couple of other families there. Lots of people don't have gardens and you can't keep children cooped up the whole time that it's grey and cold!

So it might be true in your area but it's crazy to say that what pp said isn't true, when you've no idea what their parks are like!

@HikeForward I take my dog to the local fields. Thats where I have gone for 9 years. He goes off lead. I don't drive so this is the only close to place we can go with him off lead. It is perfectly allowed - are you saying I shouldn't have got him because in your opinion I shouldn't have him off lead on public land? And that I cant travel to exercise him in the county side?

I also take my dog to pubs and cafes that allow dogs. I wouldn't take him if he was a nuisance. He just lies under the table or by my feet.

Not where I live. The parks are used by families with young kids all year round. The cafes were full of non-dog owners in winter before lockdown. I don’t think it’s hygienic to have dogs and dog hair in a cafe. And you always get some off lead who snatch food or fight with each other!

I’ve never seen a dog off lead in a cafe.

If seeing a dog on lead minding its own business causes a meltdown, you need to deal with this phobia seriously as it is undermining their ability to enjoy life. Agree with the previous suggestions about finding someone with a calm, friendly dog who is happy to help you out. If they spend time with the dog and understand it’s body language the fear will dissapear.

I think a lot of kids that don’t grow up with dogs or knowing people with dogs don’t understand their body language. So when they see a dog happily walking along ignoring them and wagging their tail they interpret it as “thug wants to attack me.” When most the time the dog is actually not interested, or just being friendly.

Bad reactions to dogs are also more likely to cause incidents to happen. If you child can safely ignore dogs, have the occasional positive interaction and have the skills to identify when a dog is a potential danger, they will be far safer.

@TheOtherMaryBerry I was responding to the comment that park cafes business is rather reliant on dog walkers in many cases - so if you only go to the one that has a cafe once a week - it sort of proves the point.

It would be like a city centre cafe saying they won’t allow people in suits in as it ruins the ambiance for the locals.

I would love a dog free park. Hate dog shit and out of control dogs.

@DrManhatten as a dog owner, I hate those things too

are you saying I shouldn't have got him because in your opinion I shouldn't have him off lead on public land? And that I cant travel to exercise him in the county side?

Not at all. I assume he’s well trained and has impeccable recall if you let him off the lead

@HikeForward I wouldn't let him off his lead if he didn't have reliable recall. People who do are dicks.

@CounsellorTroi

Not where I live. The parks are used by families with young kids all year round. The cafes were full of non-dog owners in winter before lockdown. I don’t think it’s hygienic to have dogs and dog hair in a cafe. And you always get some off lead who snatch food or fight with each other!

I’ve never seen a dog off lead in a cafe.

I have! Loads around here. Usually well-behaved and either walking at heel or sitting under the table, but there are always a couple wandering around sniffing at other people’s tables (and children). They aren’t running riot, but they are a definite trip hazard - I have trodden on more than one because I didn’t notice it coming and sitting under my table and accidentally put my foot on it when I stood up.

People always bang on about kids running around cafes being a trip hazard on here - I’ve literally never seen that happen, but I have seen loads of people bump into wandering dogs.

It's not unreasonable to want dog-free spaces, provided there remains adequate provision for dogs to be exercised in other spaces. I do think the OP should seek some assistance with the issue though - dogs are pretty difficult to avoid in the UK and it would be better for the child not to live in fear.

I walk daily in local parks all year round.
I would love it if park users with dog phobia had somewhere to go where they could avoid being 'triggered'.
It's very unpleasant to witness these meltdowns and I'm afraid all too often the people shouting about 'control' are the ones who have obviously lost it. I've felt so scared I started carrying an alarm and my dog has been kicked and hit with sticks.
I feel terribly sorry for the children who need to witness this behaviour from the adults that they depend on.

@YNK do people come over to your dog to hit and kick it?

My dog has never been kicked or hit with a stick. There has been the odd parent who clutches their children and moves them out of her path. My little 5kg JRT and I exchange eye rolls and go on our merry way. Most children, however, ask if they can stroke her, chat to me as they make a fuss of her and thank me afterwards.

T to be issue in cafes is often not the dog itself, it’s that the owner is distracted and doesn’t keep track of where its gone.

So in cafes, it’s not the solo dog walker that’s an issue, it’s the mum with three young kids and a dog who is so busy sorting her kids out that she doesn’t notice the dog has wandered over to somebody else’s table and is begging food, or jumping up.

In pubs, it’s groups of couples in their 30s and 40s, meeting their friends for Sunday lunch, maybe one or two dogs in the group, and they are all so busy chatting they don’t notice the dog has got bored and is now wandering around by the bar tripping people up, or playing chase with the other dog and running under other peoples’ tables.

I sympathise OP as I REALLY hate dogs too, but I do manage not to show that when I am around children. It's not the dogs scaring your son, it's you. Please try to get some help with this issue. I spend a lot of time in London parks and playgrounds and although I notice dogs running around and feel I need to be watchful and ready to avoid them if they come too close, I don't recognise the scenario you describe with hordes of dogs everywhere that won't leave you alone! I think your phobia is skewing your perception.