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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not allow DH into our house for 10 days?

270 replies

MrsJE · 26/01/2021 21:33

Opinions needed please.
DH is at work this evening and came across a man who was slumped on the floor and not responding when asked if he was OK.
DH phoned 999 and they asked him to do chest compressions on the person as his breathing was shallow, which DH did until the ambulance arrived.
DH recognises the man as one of the local homeless that sleep near his work and it appears he may have taken spice.
Now, my dilemma is I'm 50yrs old and have spent half my life in and out of hospital with asthma attacks. We still have two children living at home and we are also raising our grandson who has additional needs. DH himself is 52 and has a blood disorder that he is on long term medication for. We have tried to be careful during this pandemic, we're not shielding as DH works in an office (either alone or with one other person at a time) and grandson attends school of a morning as he is classed as vulnerable but, we keep to the rules and do as much as possible to minimise our risk.
I now feel DH should stay in our eldest sons spare room for 10 days but DH thinks I'm being ridiculous.
Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
PinkFondantFancy · 27/01/2021 10:45

LOLOL someone can't breathe and someone puts a mask on them?! Proof that we've all absolutely lost our minds. Stop the world, I want to get off.

And yes, YABU - you're essentially saying "you've been near a homeless person, you have to isolate", wow.

wagsthedog · 27/01/2021 10:51

Was just watching the news this morning about how fucked the uk is and the number of deaths (live overseas). And then you get a thread like this and you figure out why.

Ten days of isolation is not a punishment. It's what you guys need to do to stop killing each other.

DenisetheMenace · 27/01/2021 10:55

tootiredtospeak

“People have gone fucking mental and this thread just proves it. I honestly despair“

Interesting. There’s a concurrent thread where dad with three CV DCs is isolating and everyone is saying he’s doing the right thing.

Does mum not matter so much? My husband is CEV and I’d take myself off without waiting to be asked.

No, you’re not being unreasonable at all. Staying with his son for 10 days is not the end of the world.

SummerBlondey · 27/01/2021 10:59

During the pandemic, I would assume this person has Covid unless told otherwise

98% of the population do NOT have Covid. Hmm

MeowPurrGrr · 27/01/2021 11:00

@smoothchange

Collapsed man, shallow breathing, needed chest compressions and someone put a fucking mask on him 🙄
As I stated in my earlier post on here. The resuscitation guidelines are to put a mask on the patient and yourself as CPR is an aerosol generating procedure. What he did was correct.
Backbee · 27/01/2021 11:04

If he is just 2 mins up the road which a family member then no hardship, it's going to be harder on you. I think the title of the thread is a bit misleading (sounds like you're keeping him out and it isn't obvious he has somewhere close by), so people probably flashed before reading, i did a bit so apologies. If he is selfless enough to help someone in the street, I'm sure he doesn't mind. The more important question really is will you be alright on your own whilst balancing everything?

thosetalesofunexpected · 27/01/2021 11:04

@MrsJE

Whilst your husband was doing chest compressions to homeless guy, did the homeless guy start spluttering or coughing a bit, then?

As obviously your husband will definitely need to be isolated.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 27/01/2021 11:09

@SummerBlondey

During the pandemic, I would assume this person has Covid unless told otherwise

98% of the population do NOT have Covid. Hmm

When I give first aid I always behave, to a certain degree, as if either I or the casualty have something infectious. Even when dealing with minor cuts and grazes in children I put on gloves before touching them. The chances of a 5 year old with a cut knee having a blood borne infection AND me having an open would for it to get into MY blood stream are tiny BUT first aiders are taught to protect themselves first.

Even in “normal” times many first aiders carry face shields that go over a casualty’s face when performing CPR. I have two in my glovebox. One in my handbag. Two in the first aid kit I carry when out walking.

Fortunately I’ve only had to actually use one “for real” on two occasions.

SatishTheCat · 27/01/2021 11:12

@wagsthedog

Was just watching the news this morning about how fucked the uk is and the number of deaths (live overseas). And then you get a thread like this and you figure out why.

Ten days of isolation is not a punishment. It's what you guys need to do to stop killing each other.

I agree, I’m noticing that sensible suggestions on here are increasingly met with hostility. Feel sorry for the OP for being on the receiving end.
nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 27/01/2021 11:24

Could he have a lateral flow test? A lot of areas are offering them for people without symptoms.

ittakes2 · 27/01/2021 11:25

Was he wearing a mask when doing the chest compressions? Can he ring someone to find out if he had been exposed to covid? Isn't it likely the man was tested if he went to hospital?

MeowPurrGrr · 27/01/2021 11:27

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WouldBeGood · 27/01/2021 11:30

@MeowPurrGrr that’s just rude

Doublefaced · 27/01/2021 11:35

@ittakes2

Was he wearing a mask when doing the chest compressions? Can he ring someone to find out if he had been exposed to covid? Isn't it likely the man was tested if he went to hospital?
Helpful to RTFT.
RaspberryCoulis · 27/01/2021 11:35

Where in the rules is the bit which says "You must isolate for 10 days when you have contact with someone, whether or not that person has Covid"?

Right, it doesn't.

Agree that it shows the government ramping up the fear factor is working though, with comments about risking lives. FFS.

Doublefaced · 27/01/2021 11:36

[quote WouldBeGood]@MeowPurrGrr that’s just rude[/quote]
Seems pretty reasonable to be honest.

Moonmelodies · 27/01/2021 11:37

Are people allowed to go and stay with another household, 2 minutes away or otherwise?

PinkFondantFancy · 27/01/2021 11:39

Nice, good to see these things can be discussed calmly and respectfully Hmm

If I see someone needing first aid, my first thought isn't going to be to dig through my pocket to find a mask to stick on them - I don't need to read an article to educate myself on that.

Doublefaced · 27/01/2021 11:40

@RaspberryCoulis

Where in the rules is the bit which says "You must isolate for 10 days when you have contact with someone, whether or not that person has Covid"?

Right, it doesn't.

Agree that it shows the government ramping up the fear factor is working though, with comments about risking lives. FFS.

Oh god yeah. I mean silly government not issuing specific guidance on what to do if you do CPR on random, unknown person in park.

Anyone would think in that particular situation, in conjunction with the OPs risk factors, that they would apply some critical thinking and risk analysis to their unique situation by considering isolation until the covid status of the man is known.

Or they could just blame Boris because it’s not in da rules?

mummytolittledragons · 27/01/2021 11:46

You can't kick him out of his own home . Who pays the bills/ mortgage?

RaspberryCoulis · 27/01/2021 11:48

[quote WouldBeGood]@MeowPurrGrr that’s just rude[/quote]
To be fair, it's been the refrain on the Covid board for a year. Educate yourself. People are DYING. Stay the fuck at home. Covidiots flouting and flocking and spreading selfishly.

Tedious, isn't it?

SatishTheCat · 27/01/2021 11:48

Read the thread @mummytolittledragons

Iggly · 27/01/2021 11:50

@wagsthedog

Was just watching the news this morning about how fucked the uk is and the number of deaths (live overseas). And then you get a thread like this and you figure out why.

Ten days of isolation is not a punishment. It's what you guys need to do to stop killing each other.

Sorry but the death rates are high because of nonsense like eat out to help out, the Christmas nonsense of allowing bubbles, people who are on shitty wages being forced to chose between money that they need to live and spreading covid. Because they’re not given enough help.

All things which the government have completely cocked up.

Stop blaming the general public.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 27/01/2021 11:50

@PinkFondantFancy

Nice, good to see these things can be discussed calmly and respectfully Hmm

If I see someone needing first aid, my first thought isn't going to be to dig through my pocket to find a mask to stick on them - I don't need to read an article to educate myself on that.

You’ve never done a first aid course then? First instruction is for the first aider to ensure their own safety first. If I know there are no gloves, face shield or mask available then I will still give first aid but I’d much rather take sensible precautions first.
Doublefaced · 27/01/2021 11:51

@mummytolittledragons

You can't kick him out of his own home . Who pays the bills/ mortgage?
RTFT
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