DSS and disgusting habit

[TheSpottedDog]

DSS (22) has a habit of performance farting. I hate farting at the best of times but he literally walks around cocking his leg and farting, squatting and farting, bending over and sticking his bum out to fart, star jumping and farting, legs akimbo on the sofa farting ... it fucking irritates me. When DH and I first got together he used to laugh at him (he was 15 then) and I spoke with him and told him it really bothered me and I find it disrespectful. We had an argument over it but eventually he saw my point and would ask him to stop when he did it. He toned it down for a while but then started it up again. Whenever he comes over I just end up going upstairs to get away from him because it winds me up so much.
The only good thing about lockdown is that he hasn’t been coming over on Saturday nights and I’m absolutely dreading the return of this shit.

AIBU to tell DH that his son is almost 23 years old now and if he can’t stop himself acting like a young child I’d rather him not come over?

Really really weird to be 22 and acting like that.
Does he do it in front of other people?
I would not allow him in my home acting like that.
Otherwise I would second the filming and threatening to post it. He has to realise how embarrassing his behaviour is.

All these ingenious methods people are coming up with to train a 22 yo man.

I couldn't be bothered with any of it, frankly. Think I'd wash my hands of the pair of them.

He won’t care about a pitying tone, he’ll just laugh. Performance farters delight in any response that indicates disapproval. It’s why they do it. It amuses them.

It you could say

Right. That’s it. It’s got to be an allergy to food

I’m going to take it back down to pure basic bread milk butter. See how it goes for 6 months.

And feed him literally that! Lols

They both sound lost causes. The dad failed him, as did the mum and the man has no insight.

@Fluffycloudland77

They both sound lost causes. The dad failed him, as did the mum and the man has no insight.

Reaching a bit there.

I'd get the most floral, horrible and cheap air freshener and spray him liberally every time.

Spike him with some laxatives

@pictish

What a lot of fuss about nothing. He’s winding you up and it works. Stop giving him an audience and ignore it.

Exactly. Don't give him the oxygen of attention.

@Fluffycloudland77

They both sound lost causes. The dad failed him, as did the mum and the man has no insight.

The dad failed him. Ohhh serious stuff.

I don't think it should be 'rather not come over'. It should be 'does not come over again' if there is a repeat. At 22 he has no legal right to be in the house.

I'm not one who finds farts amusing, and my children are are in single digits. However if my partner ever deemed it acceptable to tell my child to leave my home, I'd be furious. If the adult child was a violent abusive thief, I might see my partner's point of view. If the partner tried to kick my adult child out for farting I'd be asking my partner to leave, not my child.

Address it with your partner, let him come up with a strategy. Make it his problem. Don't throw your partner's child out, this isn't an issue worth breaking up a relationship for, and if it is, you do it, don't put him in a position where he had breaks up with you.

Think his dad might have something to say about that.

@ballsdeep he was about that age! He’d finished uni. He did it in front of family friends to wind his sister up and they all witnessed the enormous shit that landed instead. The embarrassment meant he’s never done it since!

Now there’s a deterrent for you. 😬

Definitely Pictish

@tempester28

Spike him with some laxatives

And have him splatter his arse all over the OP’s toilet? 🤮🤢

He’s not necessarily doing it to wind you up, OP. Some boys and men seem to find this hilarious when they’re together. I suspect it’s become a habit and he’s not thinking. He also seems very immature and to lack self-awareness.

I’d fake concern and deprive him of his favourite foods, saying you’re worried they’re affecting his stomach. Some added detail about friends whose children crapped themselves, or had to have a camera stuck up their bum will hopefully make him think twice before letting rip.

Have you asked your partner why he thinks this is acceptable behaviour?

Does your SS do this at work? In front of his mates, if he has any?

Farting is rank. I hate it.

Actually i think spraying him with air freshener every time is genius.

I would shit on his pillow

Of course he does it in front of his mates! They do it too!

And they all laugh about it.

They love it.

Sorry OP, that sounds vile.

Any chance you could record him and post it to his facebook?