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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Child in the supermarket?

512 replies

Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 08:51

Just curious, do you take your child/children with you when you go food shopping?
I’m currently a Sahm to my toddler Dd and always used go go early on a Monday morning, when barely anyone was there.
During the first lockdown, we stopped going and Dp would go on a Saturday morning.
Dp works Mon-Fri and often was there for hours queuing up etc, but back then he was the only one of us that went out (aside from walks in our field)
When it calmed down a little, I went back to doing it with my Dd, do you take yours?
For us, it helps dp as he obviously doesn’t mind at all, but after a long week at work, it’s not fun to do the big shop. It’s also some kind of normality in mine and DD’s life, but I’ve started to feel a bit worried about it. We’re not in the U.K. but cases are around the same number one more or less and some of my friends don’t take theirs into any shops
Aibu to still take her shopping or should dp or myself go alone on the weekend?

OP posts:
shas19 · 22/01/2021 16:22

Dp works all day so I have no choice but to take my two. Dd 2 and ds is 6, both very well behaved kids. I go on a weekday in the morning, really quiet.

Hardbackwriter · 22/01/2021 16:24

@Denny53

My children are grown up with children of their own. I used to relished the chance to go shopping on my own Oh the peace, without the constant mum mum mum, can we have this, can we have that, when we going home. I get a delivery Tesco & HelloFresh and rarely go food shopping to an actual supermarket and these days I think it’s very sensible to be going shopping on your own, wherever possible
Did you have literally no other indoor space that you were allowed to take them for variety, ever? Because it's not really comparable if so...
khg1 · 22/01/2021 16:29

I don't because our supermarkets are pretty much open 24 hours a day so I'd find a time that my partner was at home to watch the kids.

I feel it's only fair to other people shopping there given I have the choice.

Hardbackwriter · 22/01/2021 16:32

Don't you think it is sad if food shopping is the highlight of your toddler's week?
Speaking of sense of proportion...

Yes, I think it's absolutely tragic that we've restricted children's lives to this extent and against everything that was recommended for their development previously. But you're not supposed to say that, because showing any concern at all for what we're doing to a generation of children is the same thing as hoping that people die of COVID, apparently.

AmoElCafe · 22/01/2021 16:39

Don't you think it is sad if food shopping is the highlight of your toddler's week?
Speaking of sense of proportion...

Yes, yes I do think it sad. My two older DC had toddler groups, music and dance classes, friends and family to visit, museums, soft play... my youngest gets the supermarket. Of course it’s sad.

VinylDetective · 22/01/2021 16:42

@AmoElCafe

Don't you think it is sad if food shopping is the highlight of your toddler's week? Speaking of sense of proportion...

Yes, yes I do think it sad. My two older DC had toddler groups, music and dance classes, friends and family to visit, museums, soft play... my youngest gets the supermarket. Of course it’s sad.

It’s sad for all of us. My trip to the supermarket every ten days or so is the highlight of my life currently too.
AmoElCafe · 22/01/2021 16:45

It’s sad for all of us. My trip to the supermarket every ten days or so is the highlight of my life currently too

Of course. Me saying it’s sad for my two year old obviously doesn’t mean I’m saying it’s a piece of piss for everyone else Confused. Don’t forget I’m going through it too.
No one is telling you to give up your trip to the supermarket every 10 days though are they? Whereas people on here are saying toddlers shouldn’t even be allowed that ‘highlight’.

EatingAllTheCookies · 22/01/2021 16:49

Yes if I need something in the week. Before the big shop. I'm. Not waiting till 10pm when dh home.
If u can I drop to my fg who's out childcare bubble to do a big shop.
Couldn't afford tesco etc for a delivery weekly so have no choice but to go to aldi

VinylDetective · 22/01/2021 16:51

I was attempting to be empathetic @AmoElCafe. Only on MN would I get my head bitten off for it.

AmoElCafe · 22/01/2021 16:53

@VinylDetective

I was attempting to be empathetic *@AmoElCafe*. Only on MN would I get my head bitten off for it.
Apologies. I thought you were implying that I shouldn’t moan about it being shit for my kids because it’s shit for everyone. That’s what spending too much time on MN does to me... makes me think everyone is out to call people selfish arseholes for complaining about the measures. Sorry!
MatildaStoker · 22/01/2021 17:15

@TopBitchoftheWitches

Yet people wonder why numbers are still so high.

Your children are not immune to spreading this and you are allowing it.

It’s a toddler sat in a trolley at a quiet time in the supermarket we’re talking about here. It’s hardly like OP’s inviting a load of people round to her house for a tea party to entertain her toddler. (Which is something that my neighbours did last weekend for their toddler’s birthday. They even put photos of the tea party, complete with guests, on Facebook)

The increased risk of taking the toddler is still almost certainly less than the risk of OP / OP’s DH going alone at a busy time in the supermarket.

VinylDetective · 22/01/2021 17:15

It’s fine. This is bloody hard on us all. Nobody’s covering themselves in glory right now. 💐

yearinyearout · 22/01/2021 17:19

I can't see what harm it does if she's sitting in the trolley tbh. The only kids in the supermarket I object to are the ones running being a nuisance.

TopBitchoftheWitches · 22/01/2021 17:30

That toddler is likely to be coughing occasionally and sneezing occasionally over items. That's not on at the moment, keep them at home if you can and shop later if needed. It's not difficult.

bloodywhitecat · 22/01/2021 17:32

I take my little one shopping. DP has terminal cancer and isn't well enough to look after the baby on his own so baby comes with me. Shoot me.

Original poster
Whipituntilitpeaks · 22/01/2021 17:34

@Freetigerking I actually, genuinely didn’t, is that hard to believe? I went on to my mums local Fb group this morning and a few were discussing it. It was very divided amongst my friends and it made me wonder if I should go back to the system Dp and I had back in March or to continue as we had been doing.
Not everyone wants a fight, the last thing everyone needs is that, just trying my best to get along as we all are in a desperately sad and difficult time, nasty comments are pointless aren’t they 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
Same4Walls · 22/01/2021 17:52

@TopBitchoftheWitches

That toddler is likely to be coughing occasionally and sneezing occasionally over items. That's not on at the moment, keep them at home if you can and shop later if needed. It's not difficult.
Do you mean the OPs toddler? I must have missed the part where they were unwell?
AmoElCafe · 22/01/2021 17:57

@TopBitchoftheWitches

That toddler is likely to be coughing occasionally and sneezing occasionally over items. That's not on at the moment, keep them at home if you can and shop later if needed. It's not difficult.
Why?! I can’t remember the last time my toddler coughed or sneezed Confused
Lweji · 22/01/2021 18:02

Why didn’t I think to build a soft play centre and a swimming pool in my three bed terraced house....

Funny that you chose the activities that none of us can do, and not the ones listed that we can do at home. Hmm
We can all have a judo practice with our kids, for example. Put them in the kit, and have them training. Even have a video call with mates from the class.
But, yes, I really meant you could build a swimming pool.

Hardbackwriter · 22/01/2021 18:07

@Lweji

Why didn’t I think to build a soft play centre and a swimming pool in my three bed terraced house....

Funny that you chose the activities that none of us can do, and not the ones listed that we can do at home. Hmm
We can all have a judo practice with our kids, for example. Put them in the kit, and have them training. Even have a video call with mates from the class.
But, yes, I really meant you could build a swimming pool.

I think she probably listed the ones that were actually of any relevance to a toddler, since that was the group where it's apparently 'sad' if a trip to the supermarket is the highlight of their week? Listing ways to entertain a much older child isn't all that useful...
Kumquatsquash · 22/01/2021 18:15

There is a lady that hangs out at my local Coop and has appointed herself as an unofficial covid marshall. She told me off for bringing ds4 into the shop (we were buying Calpol) then the next week she had a go at me for leaving dd6 in the locked car for 3 minutes while I went in. I was parked right outside and had eyes on her the whole time.

I've seen her telling people off for not wearing masks properly, not using sanitizer or buying things that she doesn't think are 'essential'. She has obvious mental health issues so no one has told her to fuck off. Yet.

Anyway, the point is everyone has to make their own risk assessment while following the guidelines as closely as possible. I can't leave my 4 year old in the car, but DD can be left for a few minutes if I'm parked directly outside as she's sensible and knows not to open the door. Do whatever you think is the best for your situation.

Lweji · 22/01/2021 18:19

I think she probably listed the ones that were actually of any relevance to a toddler, since that was the group where it's apparently 'sad' if a trip to the supermarket is the highlight of their week? Listing ways to entertain a much older child isn't all that useful...

My initial reply was to someone who mentioned judo, music, swimming and soft play, along with other things... so, yes, an older child.

boymum9 · 22/01/2021 18:23

I'm a single parent, I have to take mine, I can't get a delivery and even if I could I'd be taking it away from someone who physically can't go to the shops right now.

seepingweeping · 22/01/2021 18:25

My husband works away for 3 weeks at a time so I need to take the kids with me.

formerbabe · 22/01/2021 18:27

I can conjure up a million random activities to do at home...the reason I take my dd to the supermarket is because it reminds her of normal life, she sees other people, it kind of relieves the hideous feelings of isolation, loneliness and being cut off from society.

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