OP,
When women like you post, pregnant and upset about wasters like him, ........not pulling their weight, being selfish, treating you like a skivvy etc.....all women like me try and do, is give you the unvarnished truth about what is ahead of you, ......based on the experiences of SO MANY womens threads on here.
So many women on MN, have had the first year of motherhood, utterly ruined by their lazy partners.
Often the men become abusive when challenged by them.
These women were also bright intelligent women, who just can't believe their daily reality.
They were so vulnerable having given birth, sore, healing, exhausted, sleep deprived and hormonal.
All very normal, but also hard.
First time morherhood is so wonderful, but it IS a huge change, even for very capable, independent women, as I would have been, and you sound like too.
Throw into the mix a selfish prick of a partner, who doesn't do a thing for you or the baby, expects a spotless house and a meal cooked, and you are talking clusterfxxk situation, of the hightest degree.
I just can't imagine how awful and lonely that must be.
Think about the above.
This is why posters like myself write harshly when posting on threads like yours, because it just is so awful to see ahead of you, what is most likely coming down the line.
It's so dreadful.
So unnecessary.
So selfish.
No one deserves it.
Least of all, a new mother.
Protect yourself.
Reach out for real life support.
Tell those you love, and whom love you, that he is not supporting you.
Don't marry him, don't give him the baby's name, don't give up your job, and for God's sake don't have another baby with him.
Put him on absolute notice that he is utterly expendable as far as you are concerned.
Don't give him any further power over your life or choices, as he doesn't have your back.
