AIBU to think I am entitled to a support bubble?

[tuesdayschild17]

I am a mother to a 3yr old DD who is wonderful but can be a bit of a handful. My partner moved into the house I'm in at the beginning of lockdown as we didn't want to break the rules by travelling between two places. He is not DD's father and although he is lovely with her, does not contribute any sort of childcare which is understandable. I am in my third year of study and working part time. I cannot workout if I am entitled to a support bubble with my father and stepmother? I am not a 'single adult' with a child under 14, but I am a 'single parent' with a child under 14 if that makes sense? I do all the childcare for DD.

Just looking for thoughts on whether I would be entitled to visit the place where they live for a walk with my DD or whether that would be taking the p**s?

Why move him in at all?

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult

Its not really understandable that he doesn't contribute to childcare in this circumstance.

He moved in, which means you can't join another household now.

He needs to help, or move out unfortunately. He has put you in a worse position by moving in and not helping out with your child.

Exactly.

If he 'lovely with her', why can he not look after her sometimes? He has all the goodies without any responsibilities, he's on to a good thing!

No you’re not entitled to a support bubble, because you’re not a single adult household.

If your partner isn’t your support then what was the point of him moving in? Partners support each other!

You can form a childcare bubble xx

I don't understand why your boyfriend won't help with your DD. Is he just there for sex? I'd tell him you need more support with DD so it's best he leaves so you can have your mum come around to help.

As everyone else has said, you can’t. So it’s for single adult households only - not single parents in the sense of being apart from the child’s parent. So if you had an 18 yo child of yours in the house you couldn’t have one either.

You can, as pps have said, have a childcare bubble while you work, or go for a walk with one other adult plus D.C. under 5.

@GraduallyWatermelon

But she can have a childcare bubble for her parents to look after her DD when she needs it

But she's not asked about childcare. She's asked if she can have a support bubble with her father and stepmother, and if she can visit the place they live for a walk.

She may not have asked about the correct bubble, which is why I’ve told her what the guidelines are. She can have her DD looked after by her parents.

Your dp should be helping, I know it’s not his child but if he wants to be in a relationship with someone who has a young child and live in the same house as them he should help out with childcare, surely he doesn’t ignore your dd? Surely he can watch her for a hour when you go for a walk or to get shopping? If not then I would seriously be considering if you want to be in a relationship with him at all. If you kicked him out you could have a bubble with someone who will offer more support.

If you want your dad to be childcare, then it's a childcare bubble. You are entitled to this but it shouldn't be used for socialising, it's for use while you are at work.

You are not entitled to see him as a support bubble. You have your partner for support (childcare and support are different things).

It seems to me you are busy, but you only have one child and you have a partner who lives with you. That's easier than a lot of situations for people. It sounds like either you partner needs to step up or you need to keep slogging away until this is over.

You can certainly have a childcare bubble. How long have you been with him OP?

You only want to go for a walk with your parents? You can do that - with one of them.

Why do you need a 'support' bubble, when you have a live-in boyfriend? He's your support surely? The support bubble thing is intended for people who are isolated due to circumstances such as living alone for e.g. You don't live alone!

Can’t believe he won’t even look after your daughter for an hour a couple of times a week while you work out. Are you sure you want to keep him around...?

Surely you must be able to ?

On account of having a child and a manchild.

www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-childcare-bubble-with-another-household

I would also think hard about whether you really want this man living with you if it makes life harder

Partner doesn’t sound great. However these rules are also ridiculous. If you’re dropping your kid off for childcare then you’re all exposed anyway so who is anyone to say you can’t have a cup of tea or go for a walk before or after drop off & pick up? Yea it’s “against the rules” but just use your common sense.

[quote m0therofdragons]@Brunt0n incorrect. She can have a childcare bubble which is different to single person bubble.[/quote]
She didn’t ask if she could have a childcare bubble, she asked if she could have a support bubble and visit her parents 🙄

Yes you can, it is just called a childcare bubble. You can have a separate support bubble too if you want. You, your partner and your DD are one household.
www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-childcare-bubble-with-another-household#what-a-childcare-bubble-is

“If you live in a household with anyone aged under 14, you can form a ‘childcare bubble’. This allows friends or family from one other household to provide informal childcare.

What a childcare bubble is
A childcare bubble is where one household links with one other household to provide informal childcare to anyone under 14. All adults in both households must agree to this arrangement. ‘Informal’ childcare means it is unpaid and unregistered.

Members of either household can provide childcare in a home or public place. This includes overnight care.

You can only have one childcare bubble with one other household. This means no household should be part of more than one childcare bubble.

You can only use a childcare bubble for childcare. You cannot use a childcare bubble to mix with another household for other reasons.
If you form a childcare bubble, it’s best if this is with a household who live locally. This will help prevent the virus spreading from an area where more people are infected.

How childcare bubbles relate to support bubbles
A childcare bubble is different to a support bubble. Being in a childcare bubble does not stop you from forming a support bubble if you are eligible.

You must avoid seeing members of your childcare and support bubbles at the same time.”

I cannot fathom how a grown adult can move in with a romantic partner and their child and ignore that child. WTF is he doing? Does he just pretend she's not there? Can he not fix her dinner? Or take her to the park?

Where do you see this relationship heading if this is how he behaves? I know he may be thinking covid has accelerated your relationship but this is it OP, he not going to suddenly step up in a years time because then it's "time" to be her step dad. If you have children together is her going to leave her out?

Yes you can, it is just called a childcare bubble

No she can't have a support bubble and pretend its a childcare bubble. Childcare is just that, they aren't interchangeable.

*support bubble if you are eligible. Don’t know if your partner or DC are disabled and so on.

If you’re dropping your kid off for childcare then you’re all exposed anyway so who is anyone to say you can’t have a cup of tea or go for a walk before or after drop off & pick up? Yea it’s “against the rules” but just use your common sense

Yes, use your common sense and ignore this terrible advice. Do not stop for tea or go for a walk.

I'm sorry but you are VU. You live with an adult. Your partner. Whether he likes it or not you come as a package and when you start dating someone that has children you take the whole package on or nothing at all. You both sound awful. I hope your child has someone that can put her first as you and your DP are all for each other and nothing for her