AIBU to think I am entitled to a support bubble?

[tuesdayschild17]

I am a mother to a 3yr old DD who is wonderful but can be a bit of a handful. My partner moved into the house I'm in at the beginning of lockdown as we didn't want to break the rules by travelling between two places. He is not DD's father and although he is lovely with her, does not contribute any sort of childcare which is understandable. I am in my third year of study and working part time. I cannot workout if I am entitled to a support bubble with my father and stepmother? I am not a 'single adult' with a child under 14, but I am a 'single parent' with a child under 14 if that makes sense? I do all the childcare for DD.

Just looking for thoughts on whether I would be entitled to visit the place where they live for a walk with my DD or whether that would be taking the p**s?

@Shoxfordian that's up there with one of the rudest thing I've read on here. there could be a number of reasons why her partner isnt able to offer childcare.

OP, you can form a childcare bubble. if you're struggling I would.

You're not, but looking at the stats half the country are also taking the piss, so you wouldn't being alone in doing it.

If you fancy contributing to the lockdown being extended.

From www.gov.uk/guidance/making-a-childcare-bubble-with-another-household

Published 6 November 2020
Last updated 15 January 2021 — see all updates

From:
Department of Health and Social Care

Applies to:
England (see guidance for Wales, Scotland, and Northern Ireland)

Contents

National lockdown: stay at home
What a childcare bubble is
How childcare bubbles relate to support bubbles
Changing a childcare bubble
Children turning 14
If your child lives in more than one location
If someone in your childcare bubble develops coronavirus symptoms or tests positive
If you’re clinically extremely vulnerable
Other forms of childcare support

National lockdown: stay at home

You must stay at home. This is the single most important action we can all take to protect the NHS and save lives.

You must not leave your home unless necessary.

Find out what you can and cannot do

If you live in a household with anyone aged under 14, you can form a ‘childcare bubble’. This allows friends or family from one other household to provide informal childcare.
What a childcare bubble is

A childcare bubble is where one household links with one other household to provide informal childcare to anyone under 14. All adults in both households must agree to this arrangement. ‘Informal’ childcare means it is unpaid and unregistered.

Members of either household can provide childcare in a home or public place. This includes overnight care.

You can only have one childcare bubble with one other household. This means no household should be part of more than one childcare bubble.

You can only use a childcare bubble for childcare. You cannot use a childcare bubble to mix with another household for other reasons.

If you form a childcare bubble, it’s best if this is with a household who live locally. This will help prevent the virus spreading from an area where more people are infected.

You can have a childcare bubble, so yes your DD can be looked after by another family unit in their home, you’re not supposed to go in that home but will give you time to work/study/rest.

I hate that people comment and get the facts wrong

Also if she’s 3 you’d be entitled to free hours at nursery or pre school so I would look into that if In England where they are open

No. You can bubble with one other household for childcare only. Not visiting.

@sofiaaaaaa

Jesus Christ, what a reach on your part. No, you’re not entitled to a bubble and you are taking the piss.

Nonsense. You are not entitled to a support bubble, but you could have a childcare bubble

@m0therofdragons

Lots of people who don’t realise there are 2 bubble options (if you’re eligible for both you can only choose 1) and are spouting incorrect guidance.

You can have a support bubble and a childcare bubble - not sure if you're saying the bit in brackets is incorrect or stating it is correct yourself, but -

How childcare bubbles relate to support bubbles
A childcare bubble is different to a support bubble. Being in a childcare bubble does not stop you from forming a support bubble if you are eligible.

From gov.uk.

Why would you move someone in who isn't interested in making your life easier by helping you when needed?

You are a single mother, a package deal, so to speak. Any partner who can't recognise you as such isn't worth having as a partner.

@2pinkginsplease

If he wants to live with you as a couple then he needs to step up and support you , not necessarily financially but emotionally and physically. You and your child come as a package.

This , the reason single parents have a support bubble is support from another adult . You have a partner that you live with that is your support. Tell me what support is he giving you while he lives with you if none I’d tell him to go and get support from elsewhere. Yes I get he’s not the father but you come as a package.

Sorry I posted too quickly but you can have childcare bubble if you need to work but I don’t see why your partner can’t help you out too .

He is not DD's father and although he is lovely with her, does not contribute any sort of childcare which is understandable.

Do you mean a financial contribution or care giving?

Why did you move this bloke in?

@m0therofdragons

Lots of people who don’t realise there are 2 bubble options (if you’re eligible for both you can only choose 1) and are spouting incorrect guidance.

Sorry, but this is bollocks. A simple read of the guidelines on the government website would show that this is complete nonsense. You can have a support bubble AND a childcare bubble. OP cannot have a support bubble, as she’s not a single adult. But she can have a childcare bubble for her parents to look after her DD when she needs it

I assume if you've moved your partner in with you and your child, it is a long term stable relationship and you view it as permanent. In those circumstances, and in the context of the pandemic, it isn't really at all "understandable" that he won't help with childcare.

How is he going to have a good relationship with your child going forward if he won't even look after her sometimes? How is that sustainable as a family unit?

No you are not.
And I wouldn’t have let your boyfriend move in if he’s not going to be a support to you and your child

@Floomobal my mistake - it’s been updated since November when it was one or the other. It’s advised you limit to one or the other as that reduces risk but you’re right, you can have both (although op doesn’t qualify for the single element).

@Brunt0n incorrect. She can have a childcare bubble which is different to single person bubble.

If your parents are ok looking after your DD without you around then there is no reason why they can’t be your childcare bubble whilst you work.

Unfortunately you can’t socialise but it sounds like you need the help with study/life balance so definitely form a childcare bubble.

Hope your partner helps you out in other ways at least, if not then doesn’t sound like much a partnership, he seems to be getting an easy ride.

You are allowed a childcare bubble but not a support bubble.

As an aside, why would you move this man into your house? I wouldn't move someone in who refused to act like a family unit.

I can see why you need a support bubble as your partner is supposed to be a support but clearly isn't. Get him to move out.

You can form a childcare bubble.

But she can have a childcare bubble for her parents to look after her DD when she needs it

But she's not asked about childcare. She's asked if she can have a support bubble with her father and stepmother, and if she can visit the place they live for a walk.

Jeez OP don't you read the news?! Or the BBC website?

I find it worrying that, after 10 months of this, people still claim not to know what is (not) allowed

I would be thinking hard about the point of your DP.
Why is he living with you and your dd if he is doing no childcare at all. It doesn't sound like you are working as a team.

There is nothing wrong with having a FWB but why move them into our house?

He's being unreasonable IMO, you can't move in with someone with kids and expect not to contribute to their care in some way. Has he actually said he can't or won't help you or are you just assuming? Sounds like the latter, it's not "understandable"... I'd have a chat with him first, he's your partner - he should be willing to support you both.