To think this woman was just being a dick/trying to make things hard for people who are distancing?

[thepeopleversuswork]

In a small, dirty and pretty crowded corner shop with my DD. We're in SE London in one of the areas with highest case rates. I am trying as far as possible to avoid going out at all beyond walks in the park and this is the first time I've been in a shop for 10 days so I'm a bit jumpy about it and trying to get in and out as fast and safely as possible.

Shop is crowded, people queueing near the till, not distanced at all, a couple of kids not wearing masks. There was a gaggle of three late middle-aged women chatting next to the till, making it difficult to distance by the till (and thus pretty unsafe for the person serving as there was a very insufficient screen) and blocking the exit out of the shop.

I pointedly - maybe being a bit OTT -- waited as far back from the front of the queue as I could before paying which I would have thought signalled that I was taking distancing pretty seriously and wanted to be given a wide berth.

After I paid and walked towards the shop exit, trying to swerve the women gossiping by the door, a 2p piece escaped from my purse because it hadn't been zipped up properly. One of the women huddling by the till picked it up: I was just on my way towards the door and she started walking towards me to give me the 2p back. I said: "don't worry about it, just put it in the charity box" and indicated I was on my way out and that I was more interested in preserving the distance. She moved right in close towards me and I said: "no I'm distancing, can you just keep it or put in the charity box please?". She comes right up to me and sticks the bloody 2p piece in my coat pocket with her grimy hand and pats my pocket. I looked visibly irritated and walked off and I heard her say "calm down, love, I was doing you a favour," as I was walking out of the door.

I turned around and said loudly (so the rest of the people massing by the till could hear" "Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

I heard her shouting: "stuck up cow" out of the doorway as I walked off.

Maybe I was a bit of an arse but this is exactly how COVID spreads. Totally unnecessary contact: people's attitude to saving small change in this country is so bonkers anyway: I know money is tight for a lot of people but who thinks that saving 2p is going to be worthwhile if you lose your job due to sickness?

I get that its easier for some people to distance than others and maybe she thought I was being precious but it really fucks me off when people impose their laissez faire attitude on others. It's one thing to just forget every now and then but I seriously think some people actually enjoy making those who taking it seriously feel uncomfortable...

I am with you OP, this woman overstepped

OP seems to see herself as faultless when she's not.

The OP has said she is aware of how she may have come across. She was not at all unreasonable for expecting people to respect her personal space. She has however copped a load of flak from people who come on here to be dicks to posters.

The OP has said she is aware of how she may have come across

Yes, but not accepted that simply by being there, she was increasing the risk of transmission to herself and others, and could have chosen not to do that. Which renders her post a bit pot/kettle. We are all 'pots'. We have all messed it up. It's not possible to get it perfect every time.

There is no need to label somebody a 'dick', 'grimy' or suggest from one action that the woman 'enjoys making other people uncomfortable'. That's the attitude that PPs are taking against.

Every time we leave the house we risk transmission, but people still may need to go out for essentials, bread, milk, loo roll, nappies etc. and that is perfectly fine and to be expected. It is also reasonable to expect people to minimise the risk, as it cant be eradicated. What the woman in the shop did would be unreasonable precovid, it is totally unreasonable at the moment.

As is the notion that folks shouldn't leave their homes at all.

She was trying to be friendly/helpful giving you the 2p you dropped.
Things escalated and your morality dissolved when you turned round and loudly declared you didn't want the 2p etc.
You should have kept on walking and simply washed your cost when you got home ( whilst making a mental note to never return to that shop).
A loud vocal confrontation over the 2p was more likely to spread the virus than a quick nod as she placed it it your pocket.

It is also reasonable to expect people to minimise the risk

By waiting outside until the small shop you need to go inside has emptied out, perhaps.

YANBU. I wouldn't want someone putting their hand (grimy or not) in my pocket without my permission at any time, never mind during this pandemic.

Unless those women were from the same household\bubble then they should not have been talking in the group they were. Even if they do live together it wasn't an appropriate place to be gathering as it affects other customers. From this alone I would guess they don't particularly care about social distancing or other people, therefore wouldn't care about giving you something you didn't want.

@Hobbesmanc

I pointedly - maybe being a bit OTT -- waited as far back from the front of the queue as I could before paying which I would have thought signalled that I was taking distancing pretty seriously and wanted to be given a wide berth.

Did anyone else read this in the voice of Patricia Routledge as Kitty?

That made me laugh.

It's been quite an eye-opener to realise how stuck up I sound.

Ah, you live and learn...

I think you were being the dick to be honest. Complete hysterical over-reaction

Out of interest why didn’t you pick up the 2p? We’re you planning on just leaving it on the shop floor?

@briebuiltthiscity

Out of interest why didn’t you pick up the 2p? We’re you planning on just leaving it on the shop floor?

I would have. Fuck it.

Omg this thread is absolutely exhausting! I really can't see how OP is being snobby just by expecting people around her to be following the rules. Why does the fact that she noted there were a group of women stood together talking when they should not be mean that she was looking down on them? Why does describing one of them as being grubby make her snobbish if the woman's hand were indeed grubby? You say everyone can be a sick at times so why does this not also apply to the OP? I mean when she responded to being called stuck up and she had a go back at the woman...I don't actually think she was being a dick...more just venting her frustration at someone who clearly doesn't care about the pandemic that is currently going on, but if you do see her as being a sick then as you said we all have our moments so why not just drop it and leave OP alone now?!
It keeps being said that her putting her hand in oPs pocket the risk is extremely low for transmitting Covid..well that's rubbish because if that woman actually had Covid and was shedding a that time..she clearly hadn't been keeping up with hand hygiene if she had mucky hands...she couldn't been to toilet and not washed after or she could've wiped a snotty nose with her hand...or many more things....if Thai was the case and she then placed the coin in OPs pocket then I would say that the risk would actually become rather high! Because we just don't know how strict others are regarding rules (and that some do not even bother trying to at all) this is the reason it's so important to wear a mask and keep distance from everyone. It's not difficult but yet some still just don't care...unfortunately ya not those people who usually end up actually ill from Covid...NO! That will be the most vulnerable people among us won't it? Don't they deserve to be protected as much as we possibly can? How would you feel if you had an elderly frail relative and they caught covid even tho they haven't set foot outside in months meaning it had been brought in to them? If it were me I know I would feel absolutely terrible and I want to be as careful as possible so as not to be in that situation. Regardless of if you have someone to worry about or not we all know that there are plenty of vulnerable people out there and it is up to us all to try and restrict this virus. But the sad fact is that some people just do kept give a crap and it's disgusting and selfish and people like that should be ashamed...but they won't be will they? Some of us are really struggling too...my anxiety regarding the whole covid situation is sky high atm and believe me if you've never had intense anxiety (not just normal worries in life) then believe me you are very very lucky. I can see how someone worried about rules being broken could be

Oops knocked send before finishing sentence!

I was just saying that I can see how being anxious can make people act differently or snap at people when people around them aren't following the rules because anxiety can literally take over you. We should be all supporting each other really atm rather than tearing each other down. We've all got to get through this and it would just be a lot nicer and easier if we all were following the same rules and were more understanding of people who are genuinely scared atm.

Corrections:
sick=dick
She couldn't been to the toilet=She could've been to the toilet
If tai was the case= if that was the case
unfortunately ya not= unfortunately it's not
do kept give a crap= don't give a crap

Sorry I've prob missed some too...I'm half asleep!!

Please can't we all now be kind to each other and build each other up rather than the opposite? 🥰

The chances of you being infected from one 2p coin are vanishingly small. You were at greater danger from picking up stuff in the shop, touching the door etc. Have you in fact been infected following this experience?

It’s not the coin itself that was the problem; after all it was OPs coin in the first place. It is the fact that this woman had to come up so close to OP to actually put the coin into her pocket. Unless this woman has 2 metre long arms which seems unlikely!

@AngelicPP

OP chose to enter a small shop which she refers to as 'pretty crowded', and then criticises others, including physical insults for not being observant regarding covid transmission. She has neither been observant re covid transmission, nor been kind herself.

You're right, we should all be supporting each other, but OP has been supportive to nobody but herself. Her concern isn't in not wanting to transmit covid in the slightest, or in being nice to somebody who made an error. Her concern is in having covid transmitted to her.

I agree completely with the basis of what you're saying, but have no idea why you're on OP's side here. She's done none of the things you're suggesting we should all do.

[quote Eckhart]@AngelicPP

OP chose to enter a small shop which she refers to as 'pretty crowded', and then criticises others, including physical insults for not being observant regarding covid transmission. She has neither been observant re covid transmission, nor been kind herself.

You're right, we should all be supporting each other, but OP has been supportive to nobody but herself. Her concern isn't in not wanting to transmit covid in the slightest, or in being nice to somebody who made an error. Her concern is in having covid transmitted to her.

I agree completely with the basis of what you're saying, but have no idea why you're on OP's side here. She's done none of the things you're suggesting we should all do.[/quote]
Sorry I've explained this several times before: I had to go to this shop because I had run out of food. I have online deliveries booked up for the next several weeks but there was a gap and I'd run out of staples (bread/milk). If you've ever online shopped you'll know that there are minimum spends and you can't always guarantee that the food you buy on one shop will last you exactly until your next shop. Its not a particularly difficult concept to understand that sometimes people run out of certain items and will need to top up?

Also I'm a bit bemused that you think my going to a shop with precautions was equivalent in terms of risk levels to her actively breaking social distancing rules?

People are still --allowed to shop and there should be a reasonable expectation that you should be able to do so without someone egregiously breaking social distancing rules. Going to a shop doesn't automatically make me a COVIDIOT.

There's a big difference between going to a shop and respecting the guidelines and barrelling up to someone, breaching the 2m rule, just because you felt like it. I find it hard to believe you can't see this tbh. It feels like you're just looking for a fight.

You sound way OTT.

If you're living in London, then there's no way that this shop was your only nearby option. When you saw how dirty and crowded it was (if indeed it was) you should have taken your business elsewhere.

I was with you till the passive aggressive rudeness at the end. Just be polite!

YABU. This was littering, you should have picked up the 2p yourself instead of expecting people to pick up after you. Charity doesn't need your 2p.

And why would you even enter a crowded small shop in a pandemic?

Surely it’s common sense to look in, see it’s too crowded, and go somewhere else?

Sounds like you took your anger for yourself for your own poor judgment out on this woman.

Also I'm a bit bemused that you think my going to a shop with precautions was equivalent in terms of risk levels to her actively breaking social distancing rules?

You didn’t take proper precautions. The usual etiquette is that there should only be 2 customers in a small shop at any one time. You were lax and are now looking for someone to blame.

you should be able to do so without someone egregiously breaking social distancing rules. Going to a shop doesn't automatically make me a COVIDIOT.

Yes you broke the rules because the other customers were already in there. You should have waited.

I'd be more annoyed at the shop. I'm NE Scotland and all small corner shops are one or two in at a time only.? Why is this shop allowing so many into the shop.

@thepeopleversuswork

I'm not looking for a fight, and you'll find upthread that I've said everybody has faults, including me and including you.

What I'm fascinated with here is that you are SO loathe to admit your own faults, whilst accusing others (including direct insults about them, rather than simple observations on their behaviour) to the extent of backtracking on what you've plainly said, on the thread, during this discussion.

Was it a 'shop with precautions' or was it a 'small, dirty, and pretty overcrowded' shop with 'gaggles' of people making it hard to social distance? You can't have it both ways. Either it was busy, so you should have waited outside, or it wasn't, so all the 'gaggle' stuff wasn't true.

You're so intent on defending that you were right and she was wrong that you're losing sight of the truth. Just admit that you shouldn't have gone in until it was quieter. We all make mistakes. But we don't all create this drama about accusing people of things.