To think this woman was just being a dick/trying to make things hard for people who are distancing?

[thepeopleversuswork]

In a small, dirty and pretty crowded corner shop with my DD. We're in SE London in one of the areas with highest case rates. I am trying as far as possible to avoid going out at all beyond walks in the park and this is the first time I've been in a shop for 10 days so I'm a bit jumpy about it and trying to get in and out as fast and safely as possible.

Shop is crowded, people queueing near the till, not distanced at all, a couple of kids not wearing masks. There was a gaggle of three late middle-aged women chatting next to the till, making it difficult to distance by the till (and thus pretty unsafe for the person serving as there was a very insufficient screen) and blocking the exit out of the shop.

I pointedly - maybe being a bit OTT -- waited as far back from the front of the queue as I could before paying which I would have thought signalled that I was taking distancing pretty seriously and wanted to be given a wide berth.

After I paid and walked towards the shop exit, trying to swerve the women gossiping by the door, a 2p piece escaped from my purse because it hadn't been zipped up properly. One of the women huddling by the till picked it up: I was just on my way towards the door and she started walking towards me to give me the 2p back. I said: "don't worry about it, just put it in the charity box" and indicated I was on my way out and that I was more interested in preserving the distance. She moved right in close towards me and I said: "no I'm distancing, can you just keep it or put in the charity box please?". She comes right up to me and sticks the bloody 2p piece in my coat pocket with her grimy hand and pats my pocket. I looked visibly irritated and walked off and I heard her say "calm down, love, I was doing you a favour," as I was walking out of the door.

I turned around and said loudly (so the rest of the people massing by the till could hear" "Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

I heard her shouting: "stuck up cow" out of the doorway as I walked off.

Maybe I was a bit of an arse but this is exactly how COVID spreads. Totally unnecessary contact: people's attitude to saving small change in this country is so bonkers anyway: I know money is tight for a lot of people but who thinks that saving 2p is going to be worthwhile if you lose your job due to sickness?

I get that its easier for some people to distance than others and maybe she thought I was being precious but it really fucks me off when people impose their laissez faire attitude on others. It's one thing to just forget every now and then but I seriously think some people actually enjoy making those who taking it seriously feel uncomfortable...

[Arobase]

YABU. If you were that paranoid about the 2p, you could have thrown it away at the first opportunity and washed your hands.

And if you were that concerned about infection, why go into that shop in the first place? I'm sure there would be quite a lot of alternatives in SE London.

[Godimabitch]

The shop shouldn't even be that crowded and they should be sending people out if they're getting in the way. I wouldn't have gone in tbh.
Some people are just so unaware of what social distancing actually is.

[thepeopleversuswork]

MynephewR

I honestly don't care if people think I'm stuck up. If wanting to protect myself from catching a potentially dangerous disease makes me stuck up, so be it. Rather than safe than sick.

If people really think appearing to be egalitarian towards strangers behaving like dicks in shops trumps public health at this point in time then there's no hope for us really.

To those saying I shouldn't have gone to that shop: the only other shop within walking distance from me is a Sainsbury's local which is so crowded atm that people are frequently queuing around the back of the aisles and out of the door. Going to "safer" shops requires a bus journey and I can't drive.

[StepOutOfLine]

@formerbabe

I don't know why so many posters are being rude to the op. It's incredibly stupid behaviour to touch strangers at the moment like that.

Like it's stupid to go into an overcrowded shop instead of standing outside till someone leaves.

[Butchyrestingface]

I think YNBU. You told her (more than once).

Still, it all sounds very genteel and disappointing compared to some of the more robust er, exchanges you can watch on Youtube over social distancing.

[JingsMahBucket]

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@JingsMahBucket you might have but perhaps you are not the snob that OP is based on her post.[/quote]
Why is the OP a snob? If a person’s hand is grimy, then it’s grimy. There’s nothing wrong with saying that. The default state would be clean so if there’s anything out of the ordinary, then a person would describe that, whether grimy, bloody, contorted, etc.

[thepeopleversuswork]

JingsMahBucket

I'm perfectly prepared to be told I'm a snob.

I'm going to stick my neck out and say anyone who thinks its acceptable to put their hand in a stranger's pocket in the middle of a pandemic to make a dubious point is at best seriously stupid and at worst a sociopath.

[DameFanny]

"Like it's stupid to go into an overcrowded shop instead of standing outside till someone leaves."

WTF? Like you just start your own queue and expect people to not barge past and go in anyway?

[Wheresmykimchi]

@JingsMahBucket it's not about the hand. And fwiw I don't think she should have come near you or put her hand in your pocket @thepeopleversuswork. Thanks for the unecessary personal attack but your whole OP stinks of snobbery. The wording, in particular, well before the hand . The PPs asking about Waitrose were also implying that , but that went spectacularly over your head, such is your self importance.

You didn't answer my question, would you have stood at the door and lectured if it was nice clean wee grandad trying to give you it bac rather than common, dirty, middle aged gossiping woman?

I'd have called you a snob as well.

[Wheresmykimchi]

@thepeopleversuswork

MynephewR

I honestly don't care if people think I'm stuck up. If wanting to protect myself from catching a potentially dangerous disease makes me stuck up, so be it. Rather than safe than sick.

If people really think appearing to be egalitarian towards strangers behaving like dicks in shops trumps public health at this point in time then there's no hope for us really.

To those saying I shouldn't have gone to that shop: the only other shop within walking distance from me is a Sainsbury's local which is so crowded atm that people are frequently queuing around the back of the aisles and out of the door. Going to "safer" shops requires a bus journey and I can't drive.

So you weren't behaving like a dick hovering in the doorway to lecture, then?

[Untangled87]

Would you have done the same if it was an elderly gentleman talking by the door and giving you it back with his clean hand rather than a middle aged women with her grimy hand?

Erm I think if a man had gone up to OP and put his hand in her pocket and then patted it, despite her warning him to stay back from her, then people would see that as much worse behaviour, don’t you? He’d be called all sorts on here!

[thepeopleversuswork]

Wheresmykimchi

She came after me after I'd twice asked her not to come within two metres of me: once obliquely and a second time explicitly. She intercepted me to give me the coin before I'd crossed the threshold of the shop.

I wasn't hovering near the doorway, I was on my way out. She made it impossible for me to leave the shop without basically barging her and she put the coin in my pocket when I was literally on the threshold of the shop, so she essentially followed me towards the exit with this coin. I was so pissed off that I then - once outside the shop -- gave her a piece of my mind. At a suitable distance but close enough for her to hear. You can call this a lecture, or a bollocking, or whatever you want.

As I've said before I really couldn't give a shit whether you think I'm a snob. If wanting people not to encroach on my space totally unnecessarily when they could pass on a dangerous disease makes me a snob I'm fine with that.

It seems you're getting really hung up on wanting to prove that I'm really up myself based on some semiotics you think you've picked up in my OP. If it makes you happy then knock yourself out. I still don't think any of this negates the fact that coming after someone and breaching the 2m rule to give them something they don't need when they've twice asked you not to is highly dickish behaviour.

[JingsMahBucket]

@Wheresmykimchi this feels like a really weird hill to die on. A stranger put her hand into OP’s coat after politely rebuffing them several times and then the offending person calls the OP names for not wanting a stranger’s hand on or near them during a highly contagious pandemic. This really isn’t snobbery. It’s just common sense and protecting your personal space and boundaries.

[m0therofdragons]

How is it snobbish to worry about catching covid?
Op, other woman was selfish and rude.

[whitechocolatehobnobs]

She sounds like a do gooder who can't help interfering in other peoples' business. I'd be pissed off too!

[EvilPea]

There’s a shop like that near me. Sign on the door “wear a mask, 4 people at a time”
Open the door, 6 people in there. So I wait outside whilst other people keep piling in, most without masks.


I just don’t use it now, it’s a post office but i just can’t cope with it, it’s so stressful.

[Wheresmykimchi]

[quote JingsMahBucket]@Wheresmykimchi this feels like a really weird hill to die on. A stranger put her hand into OP’s coat after politely rebuffing them several times and then the offending person calls the OP names for not wanting a stranger’s hand on or near them during a highly contagious pandemic. This really isn’t snobbery. It’s just common sense and protecting your personal space and boundaries.[/quote]
Have you read the bit where I said I thought that before anything about a hand? Do you think that referring to shops as dirty and a gaggle of middle aged woman gossiping sounds like normal speak? It's not a hill to die on, I'm just getting confused why you and OP keep on about the putting a hand in a pocket which I've agreed was wrong, but so is speaking about other people in such a derogatory manner (and telling people not to leave the house)

[barbrahunter]

you're bullying the OP @Wheresmykimchi

[fassbendersmistress]

You lost me at the very beginning when you made it clear you were worried about catching covid yet went into a crowded corner shop.

Also your suggestion that because you stood at a distance from others ‘should have made it very obvious you were social distancing’...is bonkers. Most people are just out and about doing their own thing. If you needed them to know, you should have spoken up. Especially as you had already judged they were not observing restrictions as well as you were.

[Wheresmykimchi]

@thepeopleversuswork

Wheresmykimchi

She came after me after I'd twice asked her not to come within two metres of me: once obliquely and a second time explicitly. She intercepted me to give me the coin before I'd crossed the threshold of the shop.

I wasn't hovering near the doorway, I was on my way out. She made it impossible for me to leave the shop without basically barging her and she put the coin in my pocket when I was literally on the threshold of the shop, so she essentially followed me towards the exit with this coin. I was so pissed off that I then - once outside the shop -- gave her a piece of my mind. At a suitable distance but close enough for her to hear. You can call this a lecture, or a bollocking, or whatever you want.

As I've said before I really couldn't give a shit whether you think I'm a snob. If wanting people not to encroach on my space totally unnecessarily when they could pass on a dangerous disease makes me a snob I'm fine with that.

It seems you're getting really hung up on wanting to prove that I'm really up myself based on some semiotics you think you've picked up in my OP. If it makes you happy then knock yourself out. I still don't think any of this negates the fact that coming after someone and breaching the 2m rule to give them something they don't need when they've twice asked you not to is highly dickish behaviour.

Well, it was a lecture. You told her not to leave her house.

Face if OP, you think you're better than this woman. The whole OP stinks of it. You still haven't acknowledged whether you'd have behaved the same to a pleasant, clean gentleman in Waitrose. Because you wouldn't

I've said several times I don't think what she did was right. But I don't think what you did was right either and I can see why she called you a snob.

[Wheresmykimchi]

@barbrahunter

you're bullying the OP *@Wheresmykimchi*

I resent that word being thrown around. I am doing nothing of the sort.

[Onjnmoeiejducwoapy]

What is wrong with some of the posters on here? The woman was clearly NOT trying to be helpful, she took umbrage at OP trying to stay a safe distance and decided to plague all over her for a bit of fun. She literally blocked her from getting out of the shop, when OP repeatedly asked her to not come closer.

OP needs food! Shops should be reasonably safe, of people didn’t all decide to act like idiots.

[JingsMahBucket]

@Wheresmykimchi
Do you think that referring to shops as dirty and a gaggle of middle aged woman gossiping sounds like normal speak?

Yes...? Why wouldn’t it be normal speak? If a shop’s dusty then it’s dusty and dirty. We all have corner shops like that or have been in one like that. That’s pretty normal. Same thing with describing the people standing around. I understand what you’re saying to an extent but if that’s what’s normal, then what’s wrong with describing it?

[ThePlantsitter]

I live in SE London too OP. Lots of people just aren't really paying attention are they. Of course she shouldn't've come near you, hung about in the shop, called you a stuck up cow etc. You know the rules though I'm sure: Don't Engage! Have a cup of tea and a sit down

[Onjnmoeiejducwoapy]

[quote Wheresmykimchi]@JingsMahBucket you might have but perhaps you are not the snob that OP is based on her post.[/quote]
Christ, calm down dear. You’re throwing around a lot of personal accusations on this thread.