To think this woman was just being a dick/trying to make things hard for people who are distancing?

[thepeopleversuswork]

In a small, dirty and pretty crowded corner shop with my DD. We're in SE London in one of the areas with highest case rates. I am trying as far as possible to avoid going out at all beyond walks in the park and this is the first time I've been in a shop for 10 days so I'm a bit jumpy about it and trying to get in and out as fast and safely as possible.

Shop is crowded, people queueing near the till, not distanced at all, a couple of kids not wearing masks. There was a gaggle of three late middle-aged women chatting next to the till, making it difficult to distance by the till (and thus pretty unsafe for the person serving as there was a very insufficient screen) and blocking the exit out of the shop.

I pointedly - maybe being a bit OTT -- waited as far back from the front of the queue as I could before paying which I would have thought signalled that I was taking distancing pretty seriously and wanted to be given a wide berth.

After I paid and walked towards the shop exit, trying to swerve the women gossiping by the door, a 2p piece escaped from my purse because it hadn't been zipped up properly. One of the women huddling by the till picked it up: I was just on my way towards the door and she started walking towards me to give me the 2p back. I said: "don't worry about it, just put it in the charity box" and indicated I was on my way out and that I was more interested in preserving the distance. She moved right in close towards me and I said: "no I'm distancing, can you just keep it or put in the charity box please?". She comes right up to me and sticks the bloody 2p piece in my coat pocket with her grimy hand and pats my pocket. I looked visibly irritated and walked off and I heard her say "calm down, love, I was doing you a favour," as I was walking out of the door.

I turned around and said loudly (so the rest of the people massing by the till could hear" "Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

I heard her shouting: "stuck up cow" out of the doorway as I walked off.

Maybe I was a bit of an arse but this is exactly how COVID spreads. Totally unnecessary contact: people's attitude to saving small change in this country is so bonkers anyway: I know money is tight for a lot of people but who thinks that saving 2p is going to be worthwhile if you lose your job due to sickness?

I get that its easier for some people to distance than others and maybe she thought I was being precious but it really fucks me off when people impose their laissez faire attitude on others. It's one thing to just forget every now and then but I seriously think some people actually enjoy making those who taking it seriously feel uncomfortable...

[AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter]

Right. I wouldn't have wanted her putrescent, rancid, maggot infested, necrotising, leper's tentacle of decay and doom anywhere near me either.

Sounds totally sensible.

[MynephewR]

@JingsMahBucket imo you have gone mad that you wouldn't just take the 2p to be polite. But I guess we just have different opinions.

Why use the phrase "grimy hand" after I've just commented saying that I'm fed up of posters making sweeping statements on strangers personal hygiene? Trying to wind me up by any chance?

[livefornaps]

@AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter tentacle: bravo

[MynephewR]

OK question to all of you that wouldn't take the 2p from the woman. What about if it was a £50 note that you'd dropped? Would you tell her to put it in the charity box?Would you describe the woman negatively?

For me the fact that it's only a 2p is neither here nor there, if I dropped something and someone picked it up for me and gave it to me then I would take it and thank them. Pandemic or no pandemic.

[borntohula]

Yeah she was ridiculous but why have you bothered to post here knowing you will be told you were right over and over again?

[derxa]

It didn't happen

[Lovely1a2b3c]

She was being a complete dick on purpose, wasn't she! How can anyone keep 2 metres away and still manage to put something in your pocket- I would be absolutely livid given that there is a possibility of catching an infection and she would have known full well what she was doing.

[Lovely1a2b3c]

[quote JingsMahBucket]@MynephewR
I'm the real world the OP would quickly take the 2p with a thanks then get outside, roll their eyes, mutter to themselves about people really not getting this whole social distancing, sanitise their hands and get on with their life. Only on MN do people freak out about being within 2m of someone for a couple of seconds (when they've been in a small shop breathing the same air as them anyway).

Nah. In the real world I would’ve told her to keep it as well: “It’s yours now. 🙂”.

I don’t care if it sounds condescending. I’m not taking a 2p coin that a stranger picked up off the floor with their grimy hand during a fucking pandemic. Some of you people have gone mad.[/quote]
I agree with JungsMahBucket. If you take said 2p and touch your bag to get your hand sanitiser out then you're potentially getting Covid particles on your bag. The best way to avoid Covid is to avoid unnecessary contact and that's why we have the 2 metre rule.

[JingsMahBucket]

OK question to all of you that wouldn't take the 2p from the woman. What about if it was a £50 note that you'd dropped? Would you tell her to put it in the charity box?Would you describe the woman negatively?

Are you bad at mathing or something? £50 is 2,500 times the value of 2p. Of course I’d take it back from her grimy hand because it’s worth the risk. 2p isn’t. What a silly question.

And yes, I’d still describe it as a grimy hand even if she were handing me a £50. I’ve described cashier’s hands like that to friends because it was true at the time. A dirty hand is a dirty hand. Why is this so hard to understand?

[Skysblue]

So proud of you OP 👏👏👏

Many people aren’t distancing at all 😭 either cos they’re faux-brave or just stupid, I don’t really know. And many of them passive-aggressively shove themselves into other people’s airspace, it’s a strange kind of bullying I guess, have seen similar things many times. Well done you for calling it out. 👏👏👏

[MynephewR]

Ffs @JingsMahBucket the op described the woman's hand as grimy but at no point has she elaborated whether it was just an expression or whether the woman's hand was actually physically dirty. Lots of people do use phrases like "grimy hands" or "grubby hands" as an expression rather than a fact. I'm not keen on people describing others in a derogatory way just because they aren't the same as them. Why is that so hard to understand? Jesus

Nice to know you're not thaaat bothered about catching covid if it's worth your while though, thanks for clearing that up.

[thepeopleversuswork]

OK question to all of you that wouldn't take the 2p from the woman. What about if it was a £50 note that you'd dropped? Would you tell her to put it in the charity box? Would you describe the woman negatively?

Of course I'd have taken a £50. Do you understand the concept of risk? £50 is worth the risk, 2p isn't. It's basic mathematics.

My negative description of her is based on her behaving as if she was completely unaware there was a pandemic underway, not to do with her as a person. I would feel the same if she was a member of the Royal Family.

[MynephewR]

@thepeopleversuswork

OK question to all of you that wouldn't take the 2p from the woman. What about if it was a £50 note that you'd dropped? Would you tell her to put it in the charity box? Would you describe the woman negatively?

Of course I'd have taken a £50. Do you understand the concept of risk? £50 is worth the risk, 2p isn't. It's basic mathematics.

My negative description of her is based on her behaving as if she was completely unaware there was a pandemic underway, not to do with her as a person. I would feel the same if she was a member of the Royal Family.

Of course I understand risk. To me the risk of catching covid from quickly taking the 2p from the woman is worth it to not come across as stuck up and offend her. It's just basic manners. Doesn't matter what the value of the item that you've dropped is, its basic manners to thank someone for picking it up for you. Okay if you really didn't want to take it from her because of covid (though not such an issue when it's more money ) then you could have said "thank you so much but I'm really worried about covid, please could you put it in the charity box for me".

If I was walking down the street and accidentally dropped some litter that I've got in my pocket for when I find a bin. And someone picked it up and tried to hand it to me I wouldn't say "don't worry about it, just put it in the bin when you find one". It's bloody rude, I'd take it and say "thank you", obviously.

[MynephewR]

I've really had enough with people thinking that they can treat others like shit on their shoe because "we're in a pandemic don'tcha know"

[Wheresmykimchi]

@MynephewR

I've really had enough with people thinking that they can treat others like shit on their shoe because "we're in a pandemic don'tcha know"

I agree, but I gave up on that one after the bullying accusations despite making pretty much all the points you have. 🤷

[MynephewR]

@wheresmykimchi I think I'll have to give up as well. It's like common decency has never occurred to some people

[Arobase]

Of course I'd have taken a £50. Do you understand the concept of risk? £50 is worth the risk, 2p isn't. It's basic mathematics

Really? If I were terrified enough of the risk from the 2p to make that sort of scene, I would be equally if not more terrified of the risk from the £50 note which has a greater surface area to house the virus. Would £48.98 be enough to compensate for that?

[thepeopleversuswork]

MyNephewR

"To me the risk of catching covid from quickly taking the 2p from the woman is worth it to not come across as stuck up and offend her. It's just basic manners."

So if someone sat next to you on a bus without a mask and coughed throughout the journey would you just sit there and tolerate it "not to come across as stuck up and offend them"? If someone urinated on your toilet floor and left it there, or cut their toenails and left them on your living room table would you also just not say anything because its "basic manners"? If someone barged into your front room at the moment despite it being against government guidelines would "basic manners" trump your desire to protect yourself and your family?

I would be prepared to bet good money you wouldn't. You are allowing some weird sense of reverse snobbery and identification with someone you have never met to justify behaviour which at best is extremely thoughtless and at worst was a deliberate attempt to rile someone who is visibly anxious. In other words you're just looking for a scrap.

[Arobase]

I agree with JungsMahBucket. If you take said 2p and touch your bag to get your hand sanitiser out then you're potentially getting Covid particles on your bag. The best way to avoid Covid is to avoid unnecessary contact and that's why we have the 2 metre rule.

Given that OP had only popped out briefly anyway, surely the sensible answer would be to drop the 2p in the nearest bin and keep her hand away from her face for the short walk back home where she can wash her hands properly.

[thefirstmrsrochester]

Grimy hand

[thepeopleversuswork]

@Arobase

I agree with JungsMahBucket. If you take said 2p and touch your bag to get your hand sanitiser out then you're potentially getting Covid particles on your bag. The best way to avoid Covid is to avoid unnecessary contact and that's why we have the 2 metre rule.

Given that OP had only popped out briefly anyway, surely the sensible answer would be to drop the 2p in the nearest bin and keep her hand away from her face for the short walk back home where she can wash her hands properly.

But it wasn't just the 2p piece. It was the fact that she actually put her bleeding hand in my pocket.

For the record, I don't think this particularly interaction poses a particularly acute COVID risk as they go. It was just a blatantly obvious attempt on her part to signal to me that I was uptight and should chill out about distancing. Leaving aside what you may think about the health risk, this is unkind and selfish.

I expected a bunfight on here and I don't mind being told I'm a snob but TBH I am astonished that people think that the need to avoid offending a complete stranger who is shoving their hand in your pocket should take precedence over protecting your health...

[MynephewR]

So if someone sat next to you on a bus without a mask and coughed throughout the journey would you just sit there and tolerate it "not to come across as stuck up and offend them"? If someone urinated on your toilet floor and left it there, or cut their toenails and left them on your living room table would you also just not say anything because its "basic manners"? If someone barged into your front room at the moment despite it being against government guidelines would "basic manners" trump your desire to protect yourself and your family?
Oh come on, those things are not comparable, you're being ridiculous there. With the man on the bus I would quietly move away from him, certainly wouldn't say anything. He could have a cough for many reasons not just covid and he could be exempt from wearing a mask. I don't know his situation so I definitely wouldn't say anything. And the other things are just plain horrible, that woman was being kind to you by picking up your 2p, not horrible. She probably did genuinely think she was doing you a favour. Fair enough the way she behaved afterwards was out of order but the picking up the 2p and trying to give it back to you wasn't malicious.

And I would be far more concerned that the random person barging into my home would be coming to do me and my family immediate harm than I would about bloody covid, so I would react appropriately.

I get that some people are very worried about catching covid, I try my best to recognise the signs and be extra cautious around them when I'm out and about. But being worried about covid really doesn't give you the right to forget basic manners.

[Wheresmykimchi]

In all honesty, and I'm donning my tin hat here after my bully pile one earlier (I'm really, really not) I think you knew the bunfight was coming whe you wrote it in the style you did. We've all done it, out of anger of frustration or whatever else.

But if you'd have worded it differently I think the responses would have been differen (as I actually agree with you about the action, it was the overall picture). I didn't mean to call you personally a snob, I don't know you, it was the overall picture.

But I'm still reeling from the PP who sought me out to rip me to shreds over what she thinks of my comments on other threads,
the likes of which I've never seen on all my time on MN and while I'm teflon did sting a bit, whihh i think knocks any back as forward elsewhere into a hat, so I will leave it there.

Fwiw, I genuinely am sorry you are so anxious. These are tough times.

[MynephewR]

I expected a bunfight on here and I don't mind being told I'm a snob but TBH I am astonished that people think that the need to avoid offending a complete stranger who is shoving their hand in your pocket should take precedence over protecting your health...

I don't think anyone has disagreed with you that she shouldn't have put the money in your pocket.

[thepeopleversuswork]

@Wheresmykimchi

In all honesty, and I'm donning my tin hat here after my bully pile one earlier (I'm really, really not) I think you knew the bunfight was coming whe you wrote it in the style you did. We've all done it, out of anger of frustration or whatever else.

But if you'd have worded it differently I think the responses would have been differen (as I actually agree with you about the action, it was the overall picture). I didn't mean to call you personally a snob, I don't know you, it was the overall picture.

But I'm still reeling from the PP who sought me out to rip me to shreds over what she thinks of my comments on other threads,
the likes of which I've never seen on all my time on MN and while I'm teflon did sting a bit, whihh i think knocks any back as forward elsewhere into a hat, so I will leave it there.

Fwiw, I genuinely am sorry you are so anxious. These are tough times.

Fair enough: I probably didn't word it that sensitively. I was pissed off and I didn't set out to paint her in a good light. Words matter and I can take that on the chin. And I am a bit of a snob

FWIW I have no comment on what you may have posted on other threads and I don't think its relevant.

These things are being blown massively out of proportion atm and none of it will matter in six months.