To think this woman was just being a dick/trying to make things hard for people who are distancing?

[thepeopleversuswork]

In a small, dirty and pretty crowded corner shop with my DD. We're in SE London in one of the areas with highest case rates. I am trying as far as possible to avoid going out at all beyond walks in the park and this is the first time I've been in a shop for 10 days so I'm a bit jumpy about it and trying to get in and out as fast and safely as possible.

Shop is crowded, people queueing near the till, not distanced at all, a couple of kids not wearing masks. There was a gaggle of three late middle-aged women chatting next to the till, making it difficult to distance by the till (and thus pretty unsafe for the person serving as there was a very insufficient screen) and blocking the exit out of the shop.

I pointedly - maybe being a bit OTT -- waited as far back from the front of the queue as I could before paying which I would have thought signalled that I was taking distancing pretty seriously and wanted to be given a wide berth.

After I paid and walked towards the shop exit, trying to swerve the women gossiping by the door, a 2p piece escaped from my purse because it hadn't been zipped up properly. One of the women huddling by the till picked it up: I was just on my way towards the door and she started walking towards me to give me the 2p back. I said: "don't worry about it, just put it in the charity box" and indicated I was on my way out and that I was more interested in preserving the distance. She moved right in close towards me and I said: "no I'm distancing, can you just keep it or put in the charity box please?". She comes right up to me and sticks the bloody 2p piece in my coat pocket with her grimy hand and pats my pocket. I looked visibly irritated and walked off and I heard her say "calm down, love, I was doing you a favour," as I was walking out of the door.

I turned around and said loudly (so the rest of the people massing by the till could hear" "Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

I heard her shouting: "stuck up cow" out of the doorway as I walked off.

Maybe I was a bit of an arse but this is exactly how COVID spreads. Totally unnecessary contact: people's attitude to saving small change in this country is so bonkers anyway: I know money is tight for a lot of people but who thinks that saving 2p is going to be worthwhile if you lose your job due to sickness?

I get that its easier for some people to distance than others and maybe she thought I was being precious but it really fucks me off when people impose their laissez faire attitude on others. It's one thing to just forget every now and then but I seriously think some people actually enjoy making those who taking it seriously feel uncomfortable...

[year5teacher]

Yes, this is derailing, you’re right - so let’s leave this here. I stand by my comments, and I’m sure you do too.

[Wheresmykimchi]

[quote year5teacher]@Wheresmykimchi I’m not being nasty to you - I haven’t insulted you or called you names.
I’m pointing out that I think you’ve been OTT on threads recently. You don’t have to change your behaviour, it obviously serves you in some way. I just think it comes across like you’re trying to stick the boot in for no reason when it happens over and over again.

I’m not making a “personal attack” on you - much less than you have to OP by calling her stuck up, a snob, saying she’s acting like a dick, so please don’t try that on me.

It’s up to you how you respond to posts. You can carry on ripping into people on here all you like, but don’t be surprised when people do notice that it’s the same person doing it quite a bit.[/quote]
Ok. Thanks for your input. I did look you up and I see we haven't interacted at all so I'm not sure what propelled you to do this. There are lots of posters I see regularly posting things I don't agree with, or think ooft.

I'm sure people do notice things but like the rest of us they keep things to a thread and don't jump onto a thread to make a completely unsubstantiated personal attack for all to see.

Answering OPs question is slightly different to what you have done. I negated pages ago that is made my point and many other PP have said similar things since yet here we are.

Whether you think I've been OTT or not is neither here or there really. Im only human and your words, or feeling like I'm being assessed and judged by someone I haven't even spoken to, is hurtful. You're bang out of line and I won't be engaging with you further.

[TheNighthawk]

I agree, but it is not only in poor areas that people refuse to consider others and social distance. I have been so careful throughout. Shop infrequently (can’t get deliveries) mask gloves, distance. Hand gel, wash etc. I am now in hospital with Covid. On oxygen, dexamethasone, antibiotics, anticoagulants, remdesivir, after a ghastly week at home.
Where did I get it? Was it from the woman in MandS who jostled me and breathed in my face as she couldn’t wait to get her hands on some easy peelers? The man who pushed in front of me at the spices to find what he wanted? The couple in the queue outside (no shopping alone here) who seemed to think they would get in faster by virtually hugging my back? This is in a MC area, Northern. I agree with Mark Drakesford (for once) that distancing , limits on numbers in shops, etc must be enshrined in law. When people can’t be trusted to be socially responsible it is the only option.

It so annoys me that I keep hearing the blasé statement that for most this is a mild illness, because for so many it is not, even if not fatal. There are very sick people of all ages in here. You do not want to get this.

[SapphireSeptember]

I hate strangers touching me at the best of times, I hate it even more at the moment, I may well have totally freaked out if someone invaded my space in this way.

[rosetylersbiggun]

The woman was clearly in the wrong, and probably one of those insane covid-deniers.

Ignore the posters giving you a hard time, it's pure spite. Some people are so full of bitterness they lash out at anyone within range.

[TonMoulin]

She was blatantly having a go at you @thepeopleversuswork.

I’d say she saw you keeping w wide berth and jumped at the opportunity. You then said NO and she pushed her luck. Which allowed her to get back at you for what she probably saw as a PA message from you.

FWIW, if someone, anyone, at anytime, had tried to put their hand in my coat pocket, I would have slapped their hand.

[Rosebel]

I suppose it does sound a bit snobby but that's not the point. You asked this woman several times not to come near you (or hinted at it by saying just put it in the charity box) and she ignored you.
I wouldn't want a stranger touching me at any time, let alone at the moment. Wasn't it just recently that we were reminded not to touch items in shops if we weren't buying them? So why is it okay to touch people?
I can't believe people think you were unreasonable though. Don't you know how Covid spreads? Unless this woman had 2 metre arms she shouldn't have touched you.

[Gobbeldegook]

Yabu by not posting this in the coronavirus board.

[FreshFreesias]

Sounds a bit snobbish Op.
If shopping and coming into contact with the great unwashed is so stressful best stay at home.

[ripples101]

You were not unreasonable. I don’t care if you’re a snob or not, and you (rightfully) don’t care if people think you are a snob or not. That is not the point. This woman should not have done what she did, and you are right to feel annoyed about it.

[Aspiringmatriarch]

Yanbu, I feel very protective of my personal space atm as I'm sure most people do - it only takes one person to give you covid. But I do think she thought she was being helpful and probably felt a bit defensive about your reaction. People have such different ideas about how to behave in this pandemic, and in general, and it can be really difficult to navigate. You weren't being stuck up, but maybe your manner wasn't great as a result of the stress of the situation? Telling her afterwards she shouldn't be out in public was unreasonable and rude though. Of course public health is the priority but would you normally say something like that? Maybe a better approach would be to say I'm trying to keep -you- safe?

[livefornaps]

@MynephewR are you actually joking? Grateful for two fucking pee? This is legitimate reason for her to slip her manky claw into OP's pocket?!

[livefornaps]

I would have screamed at her to fuck off and batted her bloody arm away if necessary.

[EarringsandLipstick]

"Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

In no world, Covid or otherwise, could I imagine saying this.

I appreciate I'm in the minority here but this is unbelievably rude.

If you were really so interested in protecting yourself, you could have a little eye roll as you walked away quickly. Shouting at people & delaying the interaction is adding to the issue.

Also, she's a bit odd for doing this, for sure, but the risk is still small. She was close to you momentarily. Keep going, wash your hands, discard mask when home. You'll be fine.

Has the world gone completely nuts where this by the OP is seen as acceptable social discourse now?

[derxa]

When I go shopping, I scurry in, do my shopping and scurry out. I never interact with other shoppers.

[MynephewR]

[quote livefornaps]@MynephewR are you actually joking? Grateful for two fucking pee? This is legitimate reason for her to slip her manky claw into OP's pocket?![/quote]
No not grateful for the 2p (although for some people every penny counts, don't forget that), grateful that the woman picked it up for her, it was a kind thing to do.

I have already said that the woman was wrong to put it in the OP's pocket, I don't see where I have said that there was any excuse for the woman to do that?

Why do you describe her hand as a manky claw? Were you there? Did you see that her hand was manky and claw shaped? You know absolutely nothing about this woman but you decide to describe her as some sort of grotesque animal, why is that?

[livefornaps]

@MynephewR, I'm sorry, I just find "manky claw" hilarious

[20CMB21]

@EarringsandLipstick

"Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

In no world, Covid or otherwise, could I imagine saying this.

I appreciate I'm in the minority here but this is unbelievably rude.

If you were really so interested in protecting yourself, you could have a little eye roll as you walked away quickly. Shouting at people & delaying the interaction is adding to the issue.

Also, she's a bit odd for doing this, for sure, but the risk is still small. She was close to you momentarily. Keep going, wash your hands, discard mask when home. You'll be fine.

Has the world gone completely nuts where this by the OP is seen as acceptable social discourse now?

I completely agree with you Earrings.

[user1471457751]

You should have picked up your litter yourself. It's not a stranger's responsibility to throw away/put in the charity box anything you drop. It's that kind of attitude that leads to litter everywhere

[MynephewR]

[quote livefornaps]@MynephewR, I'm sorry, I just find "manky claw" hilarious [/quote]
I know I sound like I can't take a joke. I'm just getting fed up of seeing posters on here talk about not wanting to take something out of someone's "grubby/filthy/dirty/grimy hand". Making sweeping statements about a strangers personal hygiene because they don't meet the same super strict, covid police, standards of "the roolz".

I'm the real world the OP would quickly take the 2p with a thanks then get outside, roll their eyes, mutter to themselves about people really not getting this whole social distancing, sanitise their hands and get on with their life. Only on MN do people freak out about being within 2m of someone for a couple of seconds (when they've been in a small shop breathing the same air as them anyway).

[livefornaps]

@MynephewR - what about "festering paw"

[EarringsandLipstick]

I'm the real world the OP would quickly take the 2p with a thanks then get outside, roll their eyes, mutter to themselves about people really not getting this whole social distancing, sanitise their hands and get on with their life.

Absolutely this!

[JingsMahBucket]

[quote livefornaps]@MynephewR, I'm sorry, I just find "manky claw" hilarious [/quote]
So do I. It gave me a good chuckle.

[tttigress]

Next time, if possible could you go first thing in the morning or last thing at night?

[JingsMahBucket]

@MynephewR
I'm the real world the OP would quickly take the 2p with a thanks then get outside, roll their eyes, mutter to themselves about people really not getting this whole social distancing, sanitise their hands and get on with their life. Only on MN do people freak out about being within 2m of someone for a couple of seconds (when they've been in a small shop breathing the same air as them anyway).

Nah. In the real world I would’ve told her to keep it as well: “It’s yours now. 🙂”.

I don’t care if it sounds condescending. I’m not taking a 2p coin that a stranger picked up off the floor with their grimy hand during a fucking pandemic. Some of you people have gone mad.