To think this woman was just being a dick/trying to make things hard for people who are distancing?

[thepeopleversuswork]

In a small, dirty and pretty crowded corner shop with my DD. We're in SE London in one of the areas with highest case rates. I am trying as far as possible to avoid going out at all beyond walks in the park and this is the first time I've been in a shop for 10 days so I'm a bit jumpy about it and trying to get in and out as fast and safely as possible.

Shop is crowded, people queueing near the till, not distanced at all, a couple of kids not wearing masks. There was a gaggle of three late middle-aged women chatting next to the till, making it difficult to distance by the till (and thus pretty unsafe for the person serving as there was a very insufficient screen) and blocking the exit out of the shop.

I pointedly - maybe being a bit OTT -- waited as far back from the front of the queue as I could before paying which I would have thought signalled that I was taking distancing pretty seriously and wanted to be given a wide berth.

After I paid and walked towards the shop exit, trying to swerve the women gossiping by the door, a 2p piece escaped from my purse because it hadn't been zipped up properly. One of the women huddling by the till picked it up: I was just on my way towards the door and she started walking towards me to give me the 2p back. I said: "don't worry about it, just put it in the charity box" and indicated I was on my way out and that I was more interested in preserving the distance. She moved right in close towards me and I said: "no I'm distancing, can you just keep it or put in the charity box please?". She comes right up to me and sticks the bloody 2p piece in my coat pocket with her grimy hand and pats my pocket. I looked visibly irritated and walked off and I heard her say "calm down, love, I was doing you a favour," as I was walking out of the door.

I turned around and said loudly (so the rest of the people massing by the till could hear" "Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

I heard her shouting: "stuck up cow" out of the doorway as I walked off.

Maybe I was a bit of an arse but this is exactly how COVID spreads. Totally unnecessary contact: people's attitude to saving small change in this country is so bonkers anyway: I know money is tight for a lot of people but who thinks that saving 2p is going to be worthwhile if you lose your job due to sickness?

I get that its easier for some people to distance than others and maybe she thought I was being precious but it really fucks me off when people impose their laissez faire attitude on others. It's one thing to just forget every now and then but I seriously think some people actually enjoy making those who taking it seriously feel uncomfortable...

[Yohoheaveho]

this is exactly how COVID spreads
it's also exactly how you get a smack in the mouth!
Pearls before swine...dont bother just leave while you still can!

[Piggybuttons]

Only on mumsnet could this be seen as the OP's fault YANBU I would be annoyed too!

[MynephewR]

@thepeopleversuswork did I say you were stuck up for wanting to socially distance? There is nothing wrong with trying to keep your distance and its not stuck up to do so.

The tone of your post is stuck up, calling the woman's hand grimy etc. Not assuming that the post about there being no grubby people in waitrose was sarcasm is stuck up. If you are the same in person as the way that you write and respond on this thread then I'm not surprised that the woman called you stuck up.

[samanthawashington]

its why i only use the local co op. its expensive and consequently not busy

[derxa]

@supernanmam

Did she really have a “grimy hand”?

All older women have 'grimy hands' on MN.

[0gfhty]

Why didn't you just leave the shop immediately? It comes across as if you were looking for an argument. If you feel this way go in another shop or at a different time. I'm afraid you can only vote with your money and take your business elsewhere

[Wheresmykimchi]

[quote MynephewR]@thepeopleversuswork did I say you were stuck up for wanting to socially distance? There is nothing wrong with trying to keep your distance and its not stuck up to do so.

The tone of your post is stuck up, calling the woman's hand grimy etc. Not assuming that the post about there being no grubby people in waitrose was sarcasm is stuck up. If you are the same in person as the way that you write and respond on this thread then I'm not surprised that the woman called you stuck up.[/quote]
This.

[FOTTFSOFTFOASM]

Covid is bringing out the absolute worst in people. The people who take it upon themselves to be the shouty Social Distancing Police (OP) are as much of a PITA as those who get too close (grimy-handed middle aged woman).

You were both being thoroughly unreasonable, OP.

[Itgetsthehoseagain]

She invaded your space, covid or no covid. Silly woman. Her, not you.

[mortensmike]

Why on earth did you go in the shop? You have to take responsibility fo your own safety and that of your daughter and avoid shops that are crowded and not possible to socially distance in.

I don't know why you would shop somewhere that is dirty, I'd stay well away even in normal times. I can't think of anything I'd need to buy that much that I'd go somewhere dirty and unsafe.

[ZoeTurtle]

I turned around and said loudly (so the rest of the people massing by the till could hear" "Sorry but I'm not prepared to risk catching COVID for the sake of a 2 pence piece. I did make this pretty clear but if you can't understand that then perhaps you shouldn't be going out at all and certainly not hanging about by the till."

And then everybody applauded and then you woke up?

[MynephewR]

Also it was kind of her to pick up the 2p for you. You should have just gratefully accepted it and then sanitised your hands once you were out of the shop.

She did you a favour and you told her to "just put it in the charity box", she's not your servant ffs. It was your 2p, your responsibility. I'm guessing that you offended her which is why she got arsy with you.

Yes she was in the wrong to put it in your pocket and no you weren't wrong to be trying to socially distance.

[PattyPan]

Yanbu - I can’t believe she would think it was ok to put her hand in your pocket, regardless of the pandemic that’s weird and a huge invasion of personal space!

[Eckhart]

It's quite funny, really, to go into a shop that you think is too busy, voluntarily, when you could wait outside, and then to be talking loudly, which increases the risk of transmission. OP's conduct was far from perfect, to the point of making her complain a bit laughable.

[Twillow]

Yes, this would annoy me. I don't know what her agenda was, maybe she really thought she was doing the right thing. There's obviously a lot of people around who are extremely ignorant about disease.
I would avoid corner shops though, they seem like the least likely place to be observing good hygiene and social distancing.

[Confusedandshaken]

She was absolutely wrong to approach you and touch you but she was very perceptive to know you were a stuck up cow. I had to read your post describing a group of three women as a gaggle of gossips with grimy hands to work that out.

It's sad you have to live in an area without a Waitrose. In Waitrose small groups of elegantly clad and spotlessly clean, masked women converse about the arts and philanthropy whilst maintaining a strict 3m distance. And they certainly don't handle anything as vulgar as cash.

[ResIpsaLoquiturInterAlia]

Original poster - sorry to hear of this unfortunately all too common public Covid ignorant behaviour. Surely does not happen all the time as otherwise more than 10-20% would be directly and indirectly Covid infected. However this sometimes mainstream attitude (including fatal detrimental non nonsensical arguments about face coverings science) would possibly explain our collective world class Covid performance.

Naturally not everyone has such health privilege to be so blasé, relaxed and indifferent to the obvious medical landscape given the saturation single issue media.

I do believe if more have the courage to challenge such consequential lack of community Covid concern - the more the majority "enlightened" can assist the ignorant/unaware for their own personal safety if for no other benefit.

What we do (or don't do) today impacts our collective Covid health outcomes tomorrow! Check your potential Covid footprint and try to understand the basic science if not by necessity Covid emergency criminal laws. Be a part of the solution and not a potential cause.

[year5teacher]

@Wheresmykimchi I have seen you be super rude to OPs on here so many times recently! Such weird behaviour.

[Wheresmykimchi]

[quote year5teacher]@Wheresmykimchi I have seen you be super rude to OPs on here so many times recently! Such weird behaviour.[/quote]
Quoting other threads isn't really cricket , but I know which threads you're referring to - on one thread I disbelieved the full thing and one I got given far more than I gave.

But thanks for that. Are you going to engage with the other posters saying the same thing as me (that the original post was snobby - not sure how that's super rude ) or just also single me out?

[year5teacher]

@Wheresmykimchi I just don’t see how it’s enjoyable for you to be rude to people over and over again.
I think the OP was both BU and not BU. I would have felt upset by someone doing this to me but I also think the way she wrote this sounds snobbish. I don’t know her, though, or her economic status, so I’m not going to start wildly flinging around accusations.

You’ve been confrontational and quite nasty on multiple threads that I’ve seen, and it stands out to me when it’s the same poster. It’s up to you how you spend your time - just odd.

[DeeCeeCherry]

I'm perfectly prepared to be told I'm a snob

I think you are a snob.

But in your shoes I'd have been irritated too. The shopkeeper is also at fault for not telling them to leave/get out of the way. & Could have a sign on door saying 2 customers at a time only, surely.

Aside from that I am sick to death of people without face-coverings shouting into their mobile, standing around in shops, leaning across etc, when they should be distancing yet somehow seem unable to grasp the concept.

My response to them is less polite than yours

[ALbigbump]

I’m wound up for you op! You were right to call her out, shame she missed the point!

[Wheresmykimchi]

[quote year5teacher]@Wheresmykimchi I just don’t see how it’s enjoyable for you to be rude to people over and over again.
I think the OP was both BU and not BU. I would have felt upset by someone doing this to me but I also think the way she wrote this sounds snobbish. I don’t know her, though, or her economic status, so I’m not going to start wildly flinging around accusations.

You’ve been confrontational and quite nasty on multiple threads that I’ve seen, and it stands out to me when it’s the same poster. It’s up to you how you spend your time - just odd.[/quote]
Confrontational and nasty

And you are being?

Right so you agree with me, but just would have put it much better , but have popped on anyway to tell me how awful I am on other threads.

Are you aware personal attacks are against the rules?

[Wheresmykimchi]

Sorry to derail OP (or be derailed ).

[year5teacher]

@Wheresmykimchi I’m not being nasty to you - I haven’t insulted you or called you names.
I’m pointing out that I think you’ve been OTT on threads recently. You don’t have to change your behaviour, it obviously serves you in some way. I just think it comes across like you’re trying to stick the boot in for no reason when it happens over and over again.

I’m not making a “personal attack” on you - much less than you have to OP by calling her stuck up, a snob, saying she’s acting like a dick, so please don’t try that on me.

It’s up to you how you respond to posts. You can carry on ripping into people on here all you like, but don’t be surprised when people do notice that it’s the same person doing it quite a bit.