Single Parent Joining The Army

[wannabesolider]

Hello!

Posting here mostly for traffic!

I am in the midst of a uni application for nursing, I am mostly certain I will be successful in gaining a place, I already have the grades (equivalent to 3 A's at A-Level). Once I have an offer I am debating whether to join the army and nurses are a high priority trade they are recruiting for, also the generous bursary they offer is appealing. I'm just looking for advice on whether it is feasible or just a pipe dream.

DD will be 3 by the time my degree starts and will be 6 before I commence army training and start serving, I do have childcare options for deployment between family and a nanny and then once old enough will look at the option to place her in boarding school.

Does anyone have experience as a single parent in the forces? Aibu to even think about it?

I am aware of the forces lifestyle as I was a military brat myself that went to boarding school (cheap private school fees is a bonus!). However, my parents were together until my mid teens and I was already at boarding school. My daughter's father has no involvement.

With pleasure. I've asked you, I've almost pleaded with you, I genuinely at this point feel bullied into a corner by you.

I'm done.

If you look at the sort of people who generally went to boarding school.. like aristocracy, people high up in government (e.g. Boris) and royalty, they are some of the best adjusted and emotionally stable people on the planet, otherwise they wouldn’t command such respect. So the idea boarding school causes a deficit in a child is bunk.

With pleasure. I've asked you, I've almost pleaded with you, I genuinely at this point feel bullied into a corner by you.

Oh give over I have not bullied you I have replied to you.

You are not the victim given your posts to the OP.

Actually laughed out loud at BubblyBarbara’s last comment! Thank you for that! 😂😂😂

You sound like you've got your head screwed on OP. You have relevant experience, you are researching various options to see what might work, and you are open to the possibility you might have to change course if it doesn't fit with your family.

Humans would be exceedingly dull if all parents did everything the same way. Good luck.

OP you would like replies from people who know about forces life. I was part of it for 13 years, being married to my (now ex) H who was in the forces.

I'm surprised by the amount of talk of not wanting/needing to consider the fact that it most definitely can be a dangerous career. Medics and nurses definitely do deploy to the war zones, and while the conflicts across the world don't get as much media attention any more they are still ongoing and some personnel are still deploying and being injured or even killed. When my ex joined up there was not a whiff of war, then a few weeks before he passed out of training 9/11 happened and this shaped the whole of his career until recently. There will be other conflicts, even if they're shorter or less publicised in the media.

In the early days it will be very much a case of them telling you to jump and you asking how high. A deployment, exercise or draft will not be something you can argue until much later on /higher up the ladder.

People mention the subsidised housing as a bonus. It can't be argued that cheaper living accommodation guaranteed where you need it when you need it is a bonus, however please bare in mind that the houses are substandard and really poorly maintained.

I personally never experienced the 'community' as is so often referred to. I lived in married quarters but found that although there was a clique of some women, if your face didn't fit you weren't included, and to be honest I wouldn't have wanted to, hearing the way they spoke about each other and each others children behind their backs.

I think it's brilliant that you have ambitions and are not letting the fact you are a single mum get in the way of your determination to get a career. I'm now a single Mum myself and have recently begun on a new career path myself. The main thing I would advise is to try to talk to some single parents who are doing the same as you hope to do and find out for sure what the lay of the land is before you commit.

@Smallonesaremorejuicy

Hmmm just a thought , why don’t you put your child in long term foster care & see if you could have visiting rights , what do you think?

The op is looking for a career with stability prospects and good pension to provide for her daughter. Nothing wrong with that . Good for you op to look at ways to make it work