Single Parent Joining The Army

[wannabesolider]

Hello!

Posting here mostly for traffic!

I am in the midst of a uni application for nursing, I am mostly certain I will be successful in gaining a place, I already have the grades (equivalent to 3 A's at A-Level). Once I have an offer I am debating whether to join the army and nurses are a high priority trade they are recruiting for, also the generous bursary they offer is appealing. I'm just looking for advice on whether it is feasible or just a pipe dream.

DD will be 3 by the time my degree starts and will be 6 before I commence army training and start serving, I do have childcare options for deployment between family and a nanny and then once old enough will look at the option to place her in boarding school.

Does anyone have experience as a single parent in the forces? Aibu to even think about it?

I am aware of the forces lifestyle as I was a military brat myself that went to boarding school (cheap private school fees is a bonus!). However, my parents were together until my mid teens and I was already at boarding school. My daughter's father has no involvement.

@LastRoloIsMine

Let's not pick up hard working parents with one hand and put down mums on benefits who work in low paid jobs, Rolo. Especially the snobbery about friends and education.

Hang on I never did that!!

I was explaining how by choosing militarily life my fiend was able to provide her son with some fantastic opportunities and a better lway of life because she could. His education is better in private school thats not snobbery thats fact. She was a low paid single mum on benefits before she joined. She was depressed and struggling. Since joining she is a changed woman. She deserves to be happy.

You just hate the thought of a forces child doing well and being happy so much so you are basically making things up about my post.
You have an agenda that much is clear.

What's my agenda? Why would I hate the thought of ANY child doing well? That would be a bit, well mental.

You blatantly said your child was happier with friends and education then they would have been with a single parent on benefits on a low paid job..and have again said private educate is better than he would have had.

Your words not mine, and it's snobbery.

I'm not doubting you and your friends parenting or that she deserves to be happy

[quote wannabesolider]@Backbee thank you 🥺

It seems alot of people are very black and white about the forces, it's this and that and that's it.[/quote]
You are the most black and white person on this thread , OP. I and others have tried to see it from your side but you're not seeing it from anyone's other than those in the forces who agree.

Threads like this make me so sad. Your poor daughter.

Poor daughter for having an ambitious mum who wants to be able to secure a stable career and has asked for advice and is weighing up a lot of options? I would say sounds like a fab mum to me personally.

Well that’s your take on it, fine.
It’s certainly not my take on it.

You blatantly said your child was happier with friends and education then they would have been with a single parent on benefits on a low paid job..and have again said private educate is better than he would have had.

This makes no sense its not my child its my friends.
I said he has recieved a better education privately than he would have had at a state school. Thats just true. Private education is better if it wasnt why would people bother paying?

She was on benefits in a low paid job 2 bed council flat in Bradford. It was a shithole why should I lie and say it wasnt?
Now they live by the sea in a 3 bed semi with lovely gardens and life is so much better for them both. He gets do do and enjoy so much more experiences than if he was still living in the drug infested estate he was.

All this is factual not snobbery why do you think it is?
Are poor people not meant to aspire to anything? Not want a better life for themselves or their children?
You think I am being a snob for pointing out facts. Yes you clearly have an agenda.

Kimchi if you were asking for advice about a possible course of action, whose thoughts would you pay more attention to, people who had done it themselves, or other people with no experience but strong opinions? Of course you’re entitled to an opinion, but if you’re not speaking from experience don’t you think it’s reasonable that other people who are are going to carry more weight in answering the question?

I'd go for it OP, my brother finally left RAMC after 24 years and says they were they were the best. Career wise in any of the medical services they will look after you and at uni the support is exceptional and extra money will be invaluable. In terms of deployment it is tricky to manage, but not impossible especially if as you say you have family support. I'm kind of shaking my head at the people sneering at sending your child to boarding school as that is a privilege. Even the state school army kids are in school now and not missing out on lessons. Army medics, nurses, logistics, IT, pretty much any trade are a good career move and I'd be happy to encourage young person in my family to go for it. Good luck

@Sunbird24

Kimchi if you were asking for advice about a possible course of action, whose thoughts would you pay more attention to, people who had done it themselves, or other people with no experience but strong opinions? Of course you’re entitled to an opinion, but if you’re not speaking from experience don’t you think it’s reasonable that other people who are are going to carry more weight in answering the question?

Everyone. Each and every one. And I mean that.

Otherwise what's the point in asking?

I don't have an issue with he weighting military opinions. I have a issue with the sunshine towards yes men, attacks on people who make valid points and then calling us black and white.

@LastRoloIsMine

You blatantly said your child was happier with friends and education then they would have been with a single parent on benefits on a low paid job..and have again said private educate is better than he would have had.

This makes no sense its not my child its my friends.
I said he has recieved a better education privately than he would have had at a state school. Thats just true. Private education is better if it wasnt why would people bother paying?

She was on benefits in a low paid job 2 bed council flat in Bradford. It was a shithole why should I lie and say it wasnt?
Now they live by the sea in a 3 bed semi with lovely gardens and life is so much better for them both. He gets do do and enjoy so much more experiences than if he was still living in the drug infested estate he was.

All this is factual not snobbery why do you think it is?
Are poor people not meant to aspire to anything? Not want a better life for themselves or their children?
You think I am being a snob for pointing out facts. Yes you clearly have an agenda.

Sorry I misread. Your friend ,same idea.

Drug infested estate and a shithole and 'poor people' OK. I stand by my early statements.

I don't have an agenda at all, but I've said that.

Drug infested estate and a shithole and 'poor people' OK. I stand by my early statements.

But it was a drug infestated estate. It was a shithole. Police drug raids were a weekly occurance. Her little boy couldn't even play in their tiny garden without seeing a drug deal, fight or police. She was poor, I used to take her food parcels from the little I had. None of this is me putting her down its just true. That was her life. She hated it and knew she needed to change it so she did.
I think she is inspirational strong and a fantastic person and mother.
I really don't understand your issue with the facts?

@LastRoloIsMine

Drug infested estate and a shithole and 'poor people' OK. I stand by my early statements.

But it was a drug infestated estate. It was a shithole. Police drug raids were a weekly occurance. Her little boy couldn't even play in their tiny garden without seeing a drug deal, fight or police. She was poor, I used to take her food parcels from the little I had. None of this is me putting her down its just true. That was her life. She hated it and knew she needed to change it so she did.
I think she is inspirational strong and a fantastic person and mother.
I really don't understand your issue with the facts?

I don't have an issue with facts rolo or am agenda (as wonderful as I am, I'm not under the impression anyone gives a toss what I have to say let alone that I could influence anyone particularly on a topic that doesn't affect my life!)

I can see your point in this post.

It was the original post I didn't like the wording of. Whether you're an award winning scientist, a head teacher , a celebrity, a pilot or just a mum doing her best on a council estate , we are all who we are. I've known brilliant humans from upbringings like you describe and absolute arseholes who went to private school. Yes , it's great to better yourself and make yourself happy, absolutely. But some people for various reasons will never escape that environment and that doesn't make them any more or less worthy than those who do.

I'm kind of shaking my head at the people sneering at sending your child to boarding school as that is a privilege

Some people who have experienced boarding school would say otherwise. Given their experience.

OP you said you wanted advice from someone who had been a single parent in the army , I gave you this advice back in page 2 .This obviously wasnt what you wanted to hear as you didnt even acknowledge it so I'm not sure what you are wanting if its justification I dont think you've come to the right place....

kimchi

I never bad mouthed any parents or said any were less worthy. You decided I did because that suits your agenda.
I gave you the facts of my friends life and you accused me of snobbery. There was nothing wrong with my wording you just hate the thought that my truth goes against your uneducated opinion.

Why is it wrong to say a private education is better than a state one?
Why is wrong to say a nice estate 3 bed house is better than a drug intestate flat on an estate

@LastRoloIsMine

kimchi

I never bad mouthed any parents or said any were less worthy. You decided I did because that suits your agenda.
I gave you the facts of my friends life and you accused me of snobbery. There was nothing wrong with my wording you just hate the thought that my truth goes against your uneducated opinion.

Why is it wrong to say a private education is better than a state one?
Why is wrong to say a nice estate 3 bed house is better than a drug intestate flat on an estate

We will agree to disagree.

The fact you've called me uneducated confirms that you're an out and out snob, and after three times of explaining I haven't got an agenda you are still saying I do

@Armychefbethebest sorry I missed your post, it was exactly what I was looking for and I'm sorry I missed it. I've just gone back to read it and I'm so sorry you had a rubbish time, it must have been awful for your 1 year old not to recognise you.

We have different opinions on boarding school, I think they can be great depending on the individual. I will absolutely take your comments on board and this is something I need to think about.

Can I ask when you were in and what trade? Mobility for certain trades is higher than others.

The fact you've called me uneducated confirms that you're an out and out snob, and after three times of explaining I haven't got an agenda you are still saying I do

You are uneducated due to your lack of forces life.

You are a reverse snob.
My posts reflect only my admiration for my friend. You see my stating the facts of her life and how she worked hard to change it as snobbery.
You believe poor people should stay poor.
To say where they were and be proud of what they have done is snobbery to you. Thats a very odd view. You are not fighting for the working class by calling me a snob you are cementing their position on the low run of the ladder.

I spent 20 years on a very rough estate. The house I fought so hard to keep was an ex council house. My parents were not rich. I have been so poor my children assumed for years I ate all my meals after 8pm when they went to bed when in truth there wasn't enough food to feed them and me so I went without.

Call me a snob all you like but others reading will see just how little you value the strength and pride us poor folk have.

@LastRoloIsMine

The fact you've called me uneducated confirms that you're an out and out snob, and after three times of explaining I haven't got an agenda you are still saying I do

You are uneducated due to your lack of forces life.

You are a reverse snob.
My posts reflect only my admiration for my friend. You see my stating the facts of her life and how she worked hard to change it as snobbery.
You believe poor people should stay poor.
To say where they were and be proud of what they have done is snobbery to you. Thats a very odd view. You are not fighting for the working class by calling me a snob you are cementing their position on the low run of the ladder.

I spent 20 years on a very rough estate. The house I fought so hard to keep was an ex council house. My parents were not rich. I have been so poor my children assumed for years I ate all my meals after 8pm when they went to bed when in truth there wasn't enough food to feed them and me so I went without.

Call me a snob all you like but others reading will see just how little you value the strength and pride us poor folk have.

You have no idea of my financial status or my job . No idea at all. And you have truly lost it with your stating of me wanting poor people poor and kids to be miserable. I mean truly. It would be funny if it wasn't so..worrying.

I'm off to watch dancing on Ice rather than read any more of your ramblings. Bye now :)

You have no idea of my financial status or my job . No idea at all. And you have truly lost it with your stating of me wanting poor people poor and kids to be miserable. I mean truly. It would be funny if it wasn't so..worrying.

You had no idea of mine but decided to repeatedly call me a snob for stating the facts of my friends life.
I didn't say you wanted them miserable so stop lying.
I said you wanted poor people to stay poor.
I gave you an account of a woman who was living a crap life with her son who turned it around and are now safe secure and happy. All you could do was repeatedly call me a snob for stating facts.
Its your view which is worrying.

Yes please do leave the thread and watch your show as frankly you have brought nothing to it.

You are uneducated due to your lack of forces life.

Really?

We can all bring something to the table - just because someone hasn’t been in the forces doesn’t mean they are uneducated.

I was shouted down for having my opinion up thread and I am ex forces.

But as only positive stories and not potential pitfalls/problems are required here then off I trot again.

@LastRoloIsMine

You have no idea of my financial status or my job . No idea at all. And you have truly lost it with your stating of me wanting poor people poor and kids to be miserable. I mean truly. It would be funny if it wasn't so..worrying.

You had no idea of mine but decided to repeatedly call me a snob for stating the facts of my friends life.
I didn't say you wanted them miserable so stop lying.
I said you wanted poor people to stay poor.
I gave you an account of a woman who was living a crap life with her son who turned it around and are now safe secure and happy. All you could do was repeatedly call me a snob for stating facts.
Its your view which is worrying.

Yes please do leave the thread and watch your show as frankly you have brought nothing to it.

You're repeating yourself now, but still with a bizarre amount of unsubstantiated vitriol. Odd.

Ok Il struggle on with you thinking that and obey your request to 'leave. You can have the last word. Pathetic.

Good luck whatever you decide OP. I mean that.

Yes really Sheldon

I didnt see the post where you were shot down however kimchi made huge assumptions deciding forces life meant only months away and certain death. Movies and TV shows about the army are not experience.
I find it strange when a poster continously pushes their point of view when they have no experience of the scenario in question but like Kimchi demand the OP follow their advice only

@LastRoloIsMine

Yes really Sheldon

I didnt see the post where you were shot down however kimchi made huge assumptions deciding forces life meant only months away and certain death. Movies and TV shows about the army are not experience.
I find it strange when a poster continously pushes their point of view when they have no experience of the scenario in question but like Kimchi demand the OP follow their advice only

You are reaching.

Quote me where I said OP, follow my advice only.

I didn't even give her any bloody advice! Others have been far harder than me

Stop engaging with me and I've said Il stop engaging with you but that also means not making pathetic comments to other posters. Enough.

I think its you who is engaging with me.

You have replied to my post that was not addressed to you.

@LastRoloIsMine

I think its you who is engaging with me.

You have replied to my post that was not addressed to you.

No but it was about me. Just stop. Please, stop. And il do the same.

Sheldon quoted my response to you so I addressed it and explained it which obviously meant I mentioned you.

You can hide the thread then you won't see anything.