What pronoun would you use?

[Learningtobehappier]

Heres the back story.

I was with my EXH for 5 years, left because of DV over 5 years ago with our child, theres zero contact, doesn't know where we live, we've been in refuge previously.

EXH is currently being investigated for Child Sex offences and i should find out soon if he will be charged (theres pretty good evidence).

I am a witness, have provided a statement and would go to court.

EXH now identifies as a female.

I'll obviously ask if the time comes, but in court which pronoun would you use? At the time when everything happened they were male, so it would come naturally to say "he then did this" but I wouldn't want to look bad for using him/he. But at the same time, it would feel really wrong for me to say "then she did this" when at the time they were male.

I thought about using they/their but then I need to be specific that there was only EXH there and that no one else was there, or that there was someone else there but only EXH did something etc.

So what would you use? What would I be expected to use?

absolutely not a transgender bashing thread

Well I wouldn't call a male person she but the courts may judge you badly if you call him he, they have done with other victims of male crime, so I would use his name instead. Practise before so you get used to it

I would use they/them pronouns, and the name the court calls them if there needs to be clarification.

Sorry you're going through this.

What about the accused

I would just use his male first name every time. Or he.

This must be recorded as a female crime!!

Another man who’s suddenly a woman when facing the consequences of his sex crime? I’d call him he.

The accused?

If you're recalling a memory and giving evidence of the fact that you witnessed you should absolutely refer to him as he was at the time - him

Sorry posted to quick I am so sorry you r having to deal with this

Reasonable to use he/him if that was how he identified at the time. But probably important to follow the advice / instructions of the court, if there are some.

I would not use pronouns. I would say things like "Betty went to the house. X told my that Betty did Y. Betty told me that they were going on holiday".

Yes it's clunky and yes it's unnatural but there would be no way I'd be referring to a child sex offender as "she".

Agree with another poster as using his first name at all times and you can practise this.

Although if he's changed his name you could get in trouble for deadnaming.

How have we got here!

I would call him by his name as much as possible and avoid use of pronouns, but I would use He/him/his as this is referring to a crime he committed when he was legally a man. I am probably wrong though.

Anything but she.

“ At the time he was male “ it is not possible to change sex !

If you’re recalling historical events, you describe people as they were then.

They or by name. No way would be using she/her.

No idea but I suggest you ask the lawyers, the prosecution I mean to ensure that whatever you say is clear

As above with the use of forenames, but maybe "Betty, then Colin, did XYZ"

Follow the Prosecution barrister's lead. If the Judge thinks the barrister is wrong, the Judge will correct him/her well before you have to give your evidence.

EXH has changed names to a female name and is apparently taking hormones, I would feel really uncomfortable using the new name.

In the hearing over Maria MacLachlan'assault by T Wolf, the magistrate gave a lower sentence on the grounds that Maria referred to the accused as "he" even though Wolf was dressed androgynously in jeans and a t-shirt and Maria experienced the attack as being punched and knocked to the ground by a much taller, much younger (20s to her 60), much stronger male person.

If the court insists on "she" and complains about dead-naming [sic] I'd just go for "my then husband" throughout.

If it helps, I've just looked up various articles about Bruce Jenner's sporting achievements. Even when the article mentions "now known as Caitlyn", ALL of the sporting stuff refers to "he". This seems to be standard practice when referring to events in the past when the subject was a different gender.

I’d call him the accused, and as you are likely to be talking about things that happened when he was identifying male, I wouldn’t be in the least intimidated to refer to him as he.
I also find it rather convenient that he is now identifying as a woman!

I agree with above to use their name on every single occasion. Then there is no doubt. If you don’t want to repeat the name twice in a sentence use they and them thereafter but go back to their name in the next sentence.

There wouldn’t be anything wrong with you having an opening sentence saying “To clarify; since separating from XXXX they identify as female. Unless specifically stated otherwise all reference to they/them refer solely to XXXX and are used due to the change in pronouns and not because anybody else was a witness.”

I would use their actual name or ‘my ex husband’ or ‘the accused’. It will sound clumsy and and maybe a little pompous but will avoid you tying yourself in knots regarding the he/she thing.