What pronoun would you use?

[Learningtobehappier]

Heres the back story.

I was with my EXH for 5 years, left because of DV over 5 years ago with our child, theres zero contact, doesn't know where we live, we've been in refuge previously.

EXH is currently being investigated for Child Sex offences and i should find out soon if he will be charged (theres pretty good evidence).

I am a witness, have provided a statement and would go to court.

EXH now identifies as a female.

I'll obviously ask if the time comes, but in court which pronoun would you use? At the time when everything happened they were male, so it would come naturally to say "he then did this" but I wouldn't want to look bad for using him/he. But at the same time, it would feel really wrong for me to say "then she did this" when at the time they were male.

I thought about using they/their but then I need to be specific that there was only EXH there and that no one else was there, or that there was someone else there but only EXH did something etc.

So what would you use? What would I be expected to use?

absolutely not a transgender bashing thread

toconclude : "they" are a pervert if they sexually abused children. And no doubt "they" used their penis and fists to do it. You know this in your heart but you're too cowardly to admit it.

I’ve read the following on another thread. 1) according to MOJ figures over 98% of sex offenders. 2) 1 in 50 prisoners identify as trans. 3) There are more natal male sex offenders identifying as transwomen currently incarcerated than there are natal female sex offenders currently incarcerated. 4) There are circa 200k transwomen in the country and circa 32 million women.

On those stats, it would appear as though there is a current trend to identify as trans (male to female) to be seen in a more sympathetic light. By not being allowed to deadname or misgender your ex husband, you are being forced to go along with a sickening charade.

The defendant and my ex husband sound like good solutions. Perhaps it would help if you referred to either one or the other to help you stay on track. I would use my ex husband personally. It drills home the defendant is a man.