To think there's no point in offering to take the child so your partner can get more sleep if you take over 15 minutes to collect the child?

[TiredAndGrumpy85]

I have been up breastfeeding DS through much of the night since 3:55am. DH offered last night that he would take DS in the morning so I could get more sleep. DH sleeps downstairs and I sleep upstairs so as not to disturb DH.

I phoned DH at 7:31 asking him to come up. He texts and says he's going to snooze for 5 minutes. I wasn't terribly happy about this but thought writing out a text back would just wake me up more. He's still not up 10 minutes later so I call him asking where he is and he huffily says he's getting dressed. Long story short, he doesn't actually get DS out of the room and downstairs until 7:47am, over 15 minutes after I rang him.

I am knackered but I couldn't get back to sleep after that long and gave up after 20 minutes of trying to sleep. DS is very noisy and active and I'm awake by that point having had to keep an eye of him for quarter of an hour.

AIBU to think DH shouldn't make these offers if he's going to take so long? I don't know why he won't sleep in pyjamas and wants to have the opportunity to snooze after having an undisturbed night's sleep being woken at 7:31am. I'd rather just get up with DS than lie there being pissed off about not getting back to sleep.

YABU: DH is reasonable. You can't expect someone to collect the child within 15 mins.
YANBU: DH is being unreasonable. He should have come straight up if he has made the offer for you to get extra sleep.

PS. I'm not looking for sleep training advice so please keep any thoughts to yourself on that topic!

Is he apologetic now?

No he thinks I'm unreasonable.

My DH used to do this. Drove me insane to the point where I thought I'd be better off divorcing him, because at least then I'd get every other weekend off to sleep.
He used to faff around getting dressed, cleaning his teeth, doing back exercises.
Ooh I have the rage just remembering it!

This used to wind me up too! We wake up almost immediately and deal with the baby so why on earth can't they just get up straight away after an undisturbed night of sleep? Why should they need 15/20 minutes to come around when we don't get the same pleasure through the night?

Take the baby down and leave it with him.

Yanbu. He should of course let you sleep after you'd been up half the night, and he’d said to would. Selfish in my opinion.

How old is DS? I’m just wondering if he’s of the age where there’s a higher expectation for more sleep (I know there’s no magic age but over 1 for example as opposed to 4 months old). Is DH on the same page as you on not sleep training?

Him being in a different room provides the perfect opportunity. Dont bother ringing. Walk down stairs place baby in the room with him shut the door and walk away. I appreciate that involves you getting out of bed but easier then trying to distract a wriggling baby.
Also my DP does this it pisses me off as well. Hence why I now just place the child on him

Please can the people who voted Yabu explain why?

Take the baby down and leave it with him.

After walking down and back up a flight of stairs I don't think there is much hope of me getting back to sleep.

How old is DS? I’m just wondering if he’s of the age where there’s a higher expectation for more sleep (I know there’s no magic age but over 1 for example as opposed to 4 months old). Is DH on the same page as you on not sleep training?

He's 2 and has been good at sleeping through the night but is going through a rough patch for whatever reason. DH is more against sleep training than I am, although I think it will resolve itself on its own soon anyway. He's had little regressions before.

@TiredAndGrumpy85

Take the baby down and leave it with him.

After walking down and back up a flight of stairs I don't think there is much hope of me getting back to sleep.

You didn’t the other way either.

Yes he should, but seems as he can't be arsed, I think he should sleep upstairs with you next time so he can hear toddler and get up with him promptly.

If you are that tired, walking up and down a flight if stairs won’t prevent you going back to sleep.
I think your DP should have come straight up but you could have gone down.

He's 2, send him down to 'snuggle' with daddy. No need to walk him down his own stairs surely?

I have recently divorced someone for shit like this. Taking his own sweet time to do things he didn’t quite fancy doing. It drove me to insanity. Everyone always had to wait for him to do what he “needed” to do.

For god’s sake FippertyGibbett so how is it a solution then?

YANBU OP, what does he say when you explain that he is not helping you as he promised? His offer is actually worse than useless if you don’t get sleep AND you’re annoyed.

@Yesmate

If you are that tired, walking up and down a flight if stairs won’t prevent you going back to sleep. I think your DP should have come straight up but you could have gone down.

It would 100% prevent me from getting back to sleep.

Oh god op. It's a 2 year old. He's getting undisturbed sleep downstairs.
Does he resent the loss of the bed? Is he on the sofa and pissed off that he's relegated to sofa sleep while you're upstairs.

I've had a nightmare sleeper and you don't need to sleep train as in close the door and let them scream but if a 2 year old is still not sleeping and feeding overnight keeping you all awake then I'd look at what I could do to help myself out.

@TiredAndGrumpy85

How old is DS? I’m just wondering if he’s of the age where there’s a higher expectation for more sleep (I know there’s no magic age but over 1 for example as opposed to 4 months old). Is DH on the same page as you on not sleep training?

He's 2 and has been good at sleeping through the night but is going through a rough patch for whatever reason. DH is more against sleep training than I am, although I think it will resolve itself on its own soon anyway. He's had little regressions before.

Given he’s even more against ST he should be hot footing it to pick up DS the moment he makes a little murmur to support you. I hope you’re able to have a quiet day today. It’s rough I know.

YANBU.
Oh the luxury of being a selfish dad. My DH likes to do what he calls getting ready slowly. He takes about an hour faffing. I often forget to brush my hair, get my scarf, coat or forget to eat as I’m trying to get myself and hurry DCs out the door. Often DH is still in bed!

@TiredAndGrumpy85

Take the baby down and leave it with him.

After walking down and back up a flight of stairs I don't think there is much hope of me getting back to sleep.

This sounds a bit martyr ish really.

If your that tired then surely getting back to sleep won’t be that hard and otherwise just stick some headphones on a relax for half an hour or so

YANBU and as your child is 2 I would be telling DH is keep him entertained all morning, take him for a walk etc so you can relax, read a book, have a bath. You put him down for his nap if that's what is needed and have some time to yourself.
Keep going, this will pass and please ignore anyone who dares to tell you you need to stop breastfeeding.

I think this is a bit half and half.

You must be knackered but actually you are letting your ability to be wound up keep you awake.

View taking the baby down as a positive move, sink back into bed and have some self relaxation techniques ready.

He’s a prick. I’m guessing you couldn’t get back to sleep because you were pissed off more than anything.

He's 2, send him down to 'snuggle' with daddy. No need to walk him down his own stairs surely?

He's only just turned 2 and can't be trusted on the stairs.