To be totally pissed off....or am I a drama queen?

[Ratched]

It is a 'very' special birthday for me today.
I have a husband, two grown up some and a grand daughter, as well as assorted friends.
I have a father I shop and clean for 2 or 3 times a week. I have a brother I have taken in and supported when his marriage collapsed

At 4 pm, on the day of my special birthday + only call it this as Iakakee no fuss on any other day, I have a bunch of owners with a card from Moonpig.com
My friend brought me some personalised gifts which meant a lot, but from my family????
I shop, clean and do all of the admin (sell ing houses, organising dwp payments, cleaners, carers etc c for my dad.
Have given my brother a roof over his head when needed, as well as support.
Have not only subsidised DS to the nth degree, but now also supply child care.
Have supported second DC financially.

I am 60.
No one gives a toss.
I honestly and truly do not care about getting stuff.
Just a phone call saying Happy Birthday.

How ducking dad us my life at this age when I have 2 bloody cards. And one of them is from moonpig. With roses that probably cost a bomb but mean fuck all.
DH tells me it was the best he could do in a pandemic.
Weird.
I managed to get a unique, thoughtful gift that involved some thought from Etsy for his birthday a couple of weeks ago.
And a card. But that involved making some effort.
I am so deflated.
Busy making dinner, but surely any other husband would've cooking for their wife? Or arranging a takeaway?
I am pissed off beyond belief.

If it doesn't happen tonight (ie amazing surprise planned 🙄) then designate tomorrow as the birthday you deserve. Inform them of breakfast in bed, do whatever you choose and takeaway in evening plus your choice of tv/film. Spend rest of day choosing some lovely pressie for yourself maybe in John Lewis sale? Set your appropriate budget and Bloomin well order it, lovely scarf? Nice cosy jumper, spendy candle , lovely moisturiser? whatever you would have loved to receive. Enjoy these things with a smile and tell them that as well as thinking of special and thoughtful gifts for them , you are doing this for yourself too

Happy birthday!

If I was you, I’d stop cooking and order myself a take away.

Let your DH sort his own dinner out. And pour yourself a glass of something!

Happy Birthday! Buy yourself something lovely and special, then have tomorrow as your own day. Let them fend for themselves.

Happy birthday OP. Do not feed them! Get a very large glass of wine/gin/fizz, have a bath, get a plateful of nibbles and line up a box set. Ignore the miserable bastards for the rest of the day and tomorrow tell them exactly how sad they made you.

Fuck them OP!

Happy Birthday 🥂

Happy birthday OP
I can't remember what dh gave me for my 50th last year, bought a few days before my birthday from a supermarket. Some friends got me lovely gifts and really showed they cared. I just think of that when I remember birthdays to be honest, they were much better when I was single. Dh good in other ways but this side of him has been a disappointment for our whole relationship.

Happy Birthday op! They are shit and there is no excuse. I have made an extra special effort this year for all my dfriends and family as many have been in lockdown and a bit crap anyway. I agree with pp about ordering a takeaway for one and enjoying with a nice bottle of something special. I would also be rethinking any babysitting responsibilities.

Bloody hell I bet you’ve gone around the house to today in the darkest, foulest mood!

And I reckon that’s been your present to yourself. To stew in your hurt and indignation.

And then start a mumsnet thread.

@luxxlisbon

Means fuck all? Why are you discounting a card from moonpig? That seems unnecessary given someone has gone to the effort to send you a card and flowers but it still isn't good enough.

If you are busy making dinner at 4pm surely you've sort of taken away the chance for your husband to make dinner or get in a takeway?

Tbh I don't blame OP for this, I see moonpig as bog standard, bare minimum effort, generic and pretty awful really. Only one step up from petrol station flowers. I got the Moonpig Standard Treatment of flowers, chocolates and card from someone for my birthday and it was depressing, the flowers were falling apart and dying and the chocolates were open and had fallen all over the box. Awful.

It just screams "I forgot your birthday so got you this crap at the last minute".

Would I be hurt... yes

Would I have raised before mid afternoon, probably in a jokey “ok I’m ready for my amazing gifts and being spoilt rotten” within an hour of waking.

I certainly wouldn’t have stewed in anger al day and self sabotaged

@Ratched
Happy Birthday for today, 💐🥂🎉
@BerlinCalling
She got cards and presents! Just not enough for her liking and now shes being a martyr in the kitchen
Spiteful, nasty comment from you.

* It just screams "I forgot your birthday so got you this crap at the last minute".*

Or... “you’re an adult and I assume birthdays are somewhat a side thought. Added to which, I’m an adult with a lot on. So when I remembered I sorted something to mark the day, spending a not inconsiderable sum”

Happy birthday OP . I do hope they have something up their sleeves to celebrate with you later.

It's DH's 65th here today, and it's not the most special birthday he's ever had either! And it's Dry January, so no drink... but he has his favourite dinner tonight.

I don’t understand why people don’t start making plans in advance
‘What shall we do for my birthday? I fancy takeaway and champagne’ rather than being a martyr and cooking and feeling bad.

Make your wishes known. It’s not nice if people outside your household forget you but fgs step away from the kitchen.

STOP COOKING right now Op. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

They can get their own dinner. You order something you really like (for one!) from a takeaway, plus something lovely to drink If you have it. And give your self the evening you deserve. Sod them, that is just NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Give yourself the birthday you deserve.

@Sethy38

* It just screams "I forgot your birthday so got you this crap at the last minute".*

Or... “you’re an adult and I assume birthdays are somewhat a side thought. Added to which, I’m an adult with a lot on. So when I remembered I sorted something to mark the day, spending a not inconsiderable sum”

A 60th birthday is a side thought? You must have missed all the Big Birthday parties that most adults have in normal times.

Happy Birthday OP!! I completely understand how you feel. I got a £50 garden centre voucher for my 50th birthday from my quite wealthy parents that I consider myself quite close to. For reference I bought my mum something lovely from Mulberry for her birthday just months before and took the whole family out for a lovely celebration meal. It still riles me 3 years later. Pour yourself a glass of whatever's your favourite thing, bath, pjs and Netflix. I'll raise a glass to you later and please stop running round after these people. They don't appreciate it. Make 2021 the year of you!

@saraclara

It wasn’t the OP

And the PP is referring to receiving flowers, chocolates and a personalised card

Happy Birthday

No excuse for their crap behaviour.

A friend of mine is 60 this month, I ordered her presents last month to ensure they arrived on time, which they have. Pandemic is no bloody excuse.

@BrowncoatWaffles

Stop cooking. Order your own takeaway. Open some wine (champagne if you're organised enough to have some around).

YANBU

Happy birthday

Definitely this!

Treat yourself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

@HyacynthBucket

STOP COOKING right now Op. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY. They can get their own dinner. You order something you really like (for one!) from a takeaway, plus something lovely to drink If you have it. And give your self the evening you deserve. Sod them, that is just NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Give yourself the birthday you deserve.

And this.

Give yourself the birthday you deserve!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

DH tells me it was the best he could do in a pandemic.

Has not heard of Amazon?

I know that both DH and DD are absent minded, and am quite happy to drop a few hints when my birthday is coming up. In normal times I would be making arrangements for meal out, so they would know my birthday is coming up.

You shouldn't have to do this, but I do as DH's memory has been badly affected by a stroke, and he asks me to remind him rather than act the passive aggressive martyr because he forgot.

Happy birthday OP!
Do not cook and hit him where it hurts - take control of the remote all weekend. It is a big birthday!