To be totally pissed off....or am I a drama queen?

[Ratched]

It is a 'very' special birthday for me today.
I have a husband, two grown up some and a grand daughter, as well as assorted friends.
I have a father I shop and clean for 2 or 3 times a week. I have a brother I have taken in and supported when his marriage collapsed

At 4 pm, on the day of my special birthday + only call it this as Iakakee no fuss on any other day, I have a bunch of owners with a card from Moonpig.com
My friend brought me some personalised gifts which meant a lot, but from my family????
I shop, clean and do all of the admin (sell ing houses, organising dwp payments, cleaners, carers etc c for my dad.
Have given my brother a roof over his head when needed, as well as support.
Have not only subsidised DS to the nth degree, but now also supply child care.
Have supported second DC financially.

I am 60.
No one gives a toss.
I honestly and truly do not care about getting stuff.
Just a phone call saying Happy Birthday.

How ducking dad us my life at this age when I have 2 bloody cards. And one of them is from moonpig. With roses that probably cost a bomb but mean fuck all.
DH tells me it was the best he could do in a pandemic.
Weird.
I managed to get a unique, thoughtful gift that involved some thought from Etsy for his birthday a couple of weeks ago.
And a card. But that involved making some effort.
I am so deflated.
Busy making dinner, but surely any other husband would've cooking for their wife? Or arranging a takeaway?
I am pissed off beyond belief.

My partner got me the shittest xmas present it cost him £15 and he got it xmas eve. Compared to a pile of gifts I got for him. Covid was his excuse I'm still fuming about that.

YANBU and I would be upset too. My 60th was last year and my family all made a fuss of me as you would normally expect given you do so much for your family. I am not sure whether it makes a difference that I have DDs rather than DS though my DH put a bit more effort in but it was pre Covid. Still online shopping still works so no excuse for your DH and DS etc. Maybe don't bother for them this year and just buy for your Granddaughter. Sometimes that is the only way the message gets through that you are tired of being taken advantage of. I think I would have ordered a takeaway and opened a bottle of wine for just me so you were restrained.

Happy belated Birthday.

That's rubbish. I have experienced similar. One year we were staying with old friends and they bought me a beautiful necklace. Nothing from my family who were staying there with me. I buy my own present now. I don't mind from extended family at all but if you live with someone get them something for goodness sake. Something you have made is nice, especially for your Mum. And especially when they make a fuss of you on your day. Selfish times we live in. I feel for you.

Can't remember if I said, but I finally received the book posted instead of the radio by my 'significant other' of 4 years.
It's 2nd hand (I'm ok with that, in fact approve) but I already have it...
(and it's a book about Autism - my kids are ASD) - you have to laugh!

I had an unoriginal-yet-important-for-me thought as I was feeding the dog this morning.
A beautiful Lily flowering high up in the Himalayas may not be seen by anyone, but it is just as beautiful as if it were seen and appreciated.
(I may have started watching the BBC series 'The Serpent' so Himalayas clearly on my mind!)

It's not about the card/gift it's about the (lack of) thought.
But, to move on from that, we must value ourselves anyway (difficult)
Next year I shall organise myself a token 'gift' in advance / plan a special walk / take a long soak / buy a new book (that is NEW to me)

Hope you feel a bit supported by this thread OP.
Clearly it is a more common occurrance than I'd realised.
Helps to know that, so less chance of 'this is all I deserve' feelings sneaking in (may not be the case for you but is for me I think?)

So it’s my first time on mumsnet. This thread really resonated with me since I had a big birthday last year and was totally underwhelmed by effort put in by my family. Forgive my 3 Dsons who are all grown up and gone and my DH has never excelled so didn’t expect much. Brother and sister clubbed together for some dull flowers and sent shitty cheap cards which went straight to landfill. But now both sister in law and brother in law have their big birthdays in a few weeks and the fanfare is deafening. I’m besieged with requests for video clips to add to family video productions for the big days. So pissed off and having to hold myself back from saying stuff I’ll regret. Absolutely no intention of joining in the hooha but struggling to find the words to explain why. What’s with everybody now? What’s wrong with a card? Why is everyone so competitive around birthdays? Never bought into all that and not starting now, locked down or not. Is it me?