Do you think most couples who get married in their twenties last?

[Whydoesmybackhurt]

I've phrased it clumsily, sorry. Do you think couples who meet and marry in their twenties generally are seen to be more successful marriages?

I can't imagine marrying that young, I'm nothing like the person I was in my early twenties. Broke off an engagement and shudder at the fact I nearly married a massive twat. But that's on me clearly, like I say I was really immature

I'm fascinated by people who marry young and successfully grow together with their spouse, just can't imagine that experience at all! I do think it's seen as the 'right' timeline to aspire to in general.

I got married age 26 and DH and I were the last to get married out of our group of 9 couples that all socialised together. We all got married over a two year period between 1994 and 1996. All in our mid 20s

Out of the 9 couples 6 are still together.

One couple lasted 10 years , another 12 years and then one couple divorced after 24 years ( that was a massive shock)

It was very normal back then to marry at that age. It seems really young these days.

One of my friends got married at 16 (yes really). They celebrated their golden wedding last year and are still blissfully in love. Doesn’t happen often though.

My parents were 22 and 25 when they married and they're still together.

I got engaged at 20 and broke it off at 22. He was 10 years older though so I guess not exactly a couple in our 20s.

I'd love to marry in my 20s (still could I guess, I'm 25 now) but I'm so so so so glad I didn't marry my ex!! I also bought a house and started ttc at age 20 too. All things I wanted at that age but just wasn't with the right person. People told me to 'live my life first' but for me, having a family was and is how I want to live my life. Not everyone in their 20s wants to go out parting and meeting randoms.

I am hopefully, COVID dependent, getting married in June and I would have just turned 28 and my partner will be 25 and I have every belief we'll be together until we're old and grey!

I think it depends on the person.

I was a very different person at 21 to the person I was when I married at 28. Met DH at 24, together 10 years now and married 6.

I have friends who have been together from uni though and now married with kids so it does work for some.

We were supposed to get married last year but were in lockdown. We would have been 29 when we married, we had lived together 6 years and been together 11 and a half years by then. We are pretty certain we like each other still this year, when we are 30 and will (hopefully) getting married covid permitting. Not sure entering a new decade will make much difference

I was 20, still going strong 43 years later.

I married DH ‘young’ (25), but we had known each other since nursery class and started dating at 15... still happily together at 34.

One friend was married at 19 and divorced by 21, the rest of our married friends wed between 23 and 30 and all still together.

@Whydoesmybackhurt (sorry, unable to copy and paste on this phone)

Can't say I've noticed any ideal around getting married in one's 20s (or indeed at all), nor did I ever personally experience any pressure to do so. Funnily enough I was recently talking to my parents about this: they said that it was definitely the norm for their age group, and women especially were considered left on the shelf if not married by late 20s. However they felt things had changed a lot in this respect, and for the better, since 'their day' (their words, before anyone jumps on me!)

We only got married recently but have been together since very young. I’m happy and he’s a great guy but not the guy I’d have married had I not got with him so young. If that makes sense?

Met when I was 19 and he was 27. Now 56 and 64. The first few years of our relationship were long distance as I was studying and working abroad. We didn't marry until a few years ago, and had a child in our 30s. We've been very happy, and have outlasted a lot of our friends who met at the same time or later. I think I did a lot of growing up when it was long distance, and shudder at the thought of marrying my previous boyfriend who had dumped me just before I met my husband (and has since been divorced twice and about to marry again). We've been through good and bad times, but it's been so worth it.

My parents got married at 23 & 25, they recently had their 61st wedding anniversary.

DH and I were 28 & 26 when we got married, we had our 30th anniversary not so long ago.

Our own DC are between 23 & 27 and in no way do any of them feel at all ready to get married.

We met when we were 18/19, got together in my 2nd/his first year at uni. We didn't live together until we got married, when we were both 24. Been together over 30 years, married for 26.

Most of our friends met people just a little bit later than we did and there was a big bunch of weddings when most people were mid-late 20s. We knew a few folk who broke off engagements but of our uni crowd only one couple divorced.

I was 22 when I married my DH who was 21. 35 years on and we are still happily married. I think we are lucky we both grew up together and in the same direction.

@wellthatsunusual

Almost all my friends married in their mid 20s and are still married 20 years later, with no (outward) signs of any problems.

Only one of my friends out of the 10 mariages we attended when I was 29/30 has survived.....one of them only lasted 2 years.

I think what the range if opinions and experiences here show is that you can't make sweeping generalisations about this kind of thing 😊

Fwiw me and my DH got together at 19 and are still going strong 16 years later with 3 kids. Only got married a few years ago for legal reasons once we'd had two kids. We're a great partnership and he's my best friend. Don't know how we managed to luck out in finding each other but there you go. Of our friendship group at uni, probably 3/4 are with people they met at uni or mid 20s. We are now all mid to late 30s, most either didn't get married or got married after 10+years of relationship in early 30s. no idea if the divorces are yet to come but everyone still seems pretty solid. Either luck or shit will hit the fan for everyone in the next few years 🤷🏻‍♀️

Depends what you call "last". Some last 6yes, some last 60, are they failed? Or is it the terminology that is clumsy. Who gets to decide how long a relationship should be?

Met my husband at 22, married at 26, first baby is due when I’m 29. I love the very bones of him and can’t imagine that ever changing.

We got married at 19 after being together for 4 years. We are now 34 and our marriage is stronger than ever. So far we’ve been married for 15 years, together for 19. Four beautiful kids. 3 international moves. He is more than my DH, he is my everything, my husband, my best friend, my family. If I lost him I don’t know how I would survive it. We grew up together, we’ve been through so much, good and bad. I hardly remember life before him.

The people I know who married in their twenties are all still together: DBro, DSis, DCousins, lots of friends. Even a handful who married in their teens are too.

I think it’s the people. We met at 15 married at 20 still together three children later.

However in my friendship group from school only one other person is married with children the rest just flit from relationship to relationship collecting children along the way.

Of the friends I’ve mad as a mum only one has become divorced and that’s because her dh was a cheating prick.

My family and Dhs don’t seem to have divorces really husbands/wife’s die or separate before it gets to marriage.

I married in my early 30s and did a lot of living before then. But Dh was significantly younger than me. Met him when he was 21 (I was late 20s). I was his first truly serious relationship. No, me personally if I’d married the fools I dated in my early ish 20s definitely would not have lasted! We are many years hence now and very happy. Dh assures me he was never really the sort who wanted to sow his wild oats and knew when we met that I was the person he wanted to be with. We’ve always had a healthy good relationship and I do trust his judgment must have been right. But he probably had his head screwed on a bit better than I did. I absolutely wouldn’t have been ready at that stage of life. Now, early 40s, most of my friends who got married in their early to mid 20s are on their second marriages.

I hope you're wrong, DH and I have been together since we were 19 and 20...although only married since we were 30/31 so maybe that means we'll be OK under your theory 🤷🏻‍♀️

Met DH when we were 18 and 19 .
Took ages to get together properly and then get married though. I think we were 26 and 27 when we got married. We have two dcs and are happy together, but I never say never about divorces! We have no desire to ever divorce, but I know these things can change. FWIW, I know a good few people who met at this sort of age, when we all started uni. All still together. I know a couple who have been together since they were 15 and 16, who are still together at 35 and 36. Not married and no kids, but still together and seem v happy.

I don’t think it’s the same for everyone.

When I used see people getting married early, I think OMG they are far too young and they will waste their 20’s.

Now that I’m a bit older I think they probably met the steadymature/not bad enough for me ones.

Now I realise those guys were just not my type! But the kind of guy that I liked wasn’t ripe when I was in my twenties, they just weren’t ready to settle down. Now in my thirties they are though.