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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you think most couples who get married in their twenties last?

465 replies

Whydoesmybackhurt · 14/01/2021 19:23

I've phrased it clumsily, sorry. Do you think couples who meet and marry in their twenties generally are seen to be more successful marriages?

I can't imagine marrying that young, I'm nothing like the person I was in my early twenties. Broke off an engagement and shudder at the fact I nearly married a massive twat. But that's on me clearly, like I say I was really immature Grin

I'm fascinated by people who marry young and successfully grow together with their spouse, just can't imagine that experience at all! I do think it's seen as the 'right' timeline to aspire to in general.

OP posts:
LST · 14/01/2021 20:39

I was 19 dp was 20. We have 2 dc and have been together for 11 years. I'm hoping we last!

MrsJBaptiste · 14/01/2021 20:40

OP what age do you think is the usual age to get married? You say you can't imagine getting maried so young, i.e. in your 20s which is pretty normal for everyone I know!

Of the 30(ish) couple I know who got married between 25-29, only two have got divorced. The rest have been married 15+ years, all with kids and are pretty happy (I think! Obviously you never know but there aren't any murmurings of divorce that I can see)

AdditionalCharacter · 14/01/2021 20:40

DH and I married when we were 20. We are celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary this year and I still fancy the pants off him.

Friends who married the same time but were in their 30s divorced 5 years later.

Thisismyusernamefornow · 14/01/2021 20:41

I don't think it's a given however I do know many couples that married young and did their growth together as a couple. Faced now with meeting men in their late 40's plus who are set in their ways, j think if I had my time again I'd opt for marrying younger. Obviously I wouldn't have the benefit of hindsight though...

MoreMorelos · 14/01/2021 20:41

Most of my friends got married in their 20s, as did I. I am the only one not divorced (some are more than once)

AliceMcK · 14/01/2021 20:42

I think it entirely depends on the people. Two of my closest friends have been together since they were 15, now 47 and just as happy and in love as ever. I know other happy couples who have been together since their late teens/twenties. Personally it definitely didn’t work for me.

covidaintacrime · 14/01/2021 20:42

I've met people who married in their thirties, but the vast majority are late twenties. Do you mean "do you think couples who get married in their early twenties last?"

Zebra100 · 14/01/2021 20:43

I was married at 22, am now 64, still together.

Wakeupin2022 · 14/01/2021 20:44

Depends what you mean by 20's. Its a 10 year age range.

I got married mid 20's & I don't think i was at all Young.

Now in 40's & still married.

m0therofdragons · 14/01/2021 20:45

Met dh at 18, dated at 19 and married at 22. I never wanted to marry until I met dh. We support each other to grow and encourage each other to reach our dreams. He’s absolutely my best friend and favourite person and I can’t imagine a life where we don’t grow old together. That said, I’m not naive and I’m independent so could financially survive without him. This means I choose to be with him rather than being financially dependent on the relationship. I only know a small number of marriages like ours.

Makinganewthinghappen · 14/01/2021 20:45

I don’t know anyone who married in their 20s that has got divorcedGrin

I married at 23 but we had been together since 16 and lived together since 18. We have been together 23 years now.

Useruser6539 · 14/01/2021 20:46

The couples that I know who got married 20-25 are divorced/divorcing and the couples who got married 25+ are still together.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 14/01/2021 20:46

Married at 27 (DH same age), but we met at 18, lived together from 22/23ish. We’re about to celebrate our silver wedding anniversary.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 14/01/2021 20:47

Most of our friends are similar.

Useruser6539 · 14/01/2021 20:47

Oh and I'm now early 30s and these couples are my peers

EggBobbin · 14/01/2021 20:48

Met Exh at 18 and we married at 28. At 32 he had an affair so we were divorced by 33 😳 Over the next 5 or 6 years 2 more couples split/divorced so I felt like slightly less of a pariah. I did invite him back and try to work on it, the better for worse thing was a big deal to me but he moved in with OW so I had to salvage my self esteem at some point!

2pinkginsplease · 14/01/2021 20:50

Getting married at any age can last a life time or can go disastrously wrong.

I am one of 5 girls who went to high school together who all got married to our dh’s in our 20’s, we’ve been married nearly 21 yrs, another have reached 19 and another are 17 years married, 2 have divorced and of those 2 one that had lasted 18yrs and the other 4yrs if that.

PaddingtonsSister · 14/01/2021 20:51

I was under 20 Age means nothing

ZenNudist · 14/01/2021 20:52

Most people I know have been together since school or university although we all got married around 30. Been together 20 years approx or longer. There ate more people that got together mid to late twenties but got married around 30s

I have a theory that the older you are the harder it is to find a partner as you have both had time to your growing up, know what you do and dont want so more discerning.

Hankunamatata · 14/01/2021 20:52

24 when we married. Yes some tough times. But we have grown with each other. In a marriage you have different relationships with each other over time.

m0therofdragons · 14/01/2021 20:54

I should have added, we’ve been together 19 years.

Tier10 · 14/01/2021 20:54

Married 25 years ago at age 27. 27 isn’t young to get married.

EarthSight · 14/01/2021 20:55

Depends when in your 20s. I think if you get married before the age of 23 there's more of a risk that they haven't fully developed their personalities yet.

Parky04 · 14/01/2021 20:57

Married at 25 and still going strong 24 years later.

PatriciaHolm · 14/01/2021 20:57

According to the ONS in 2016 -

"Looking at just first marriages of opposite-sex couples, the average age of single men was 33.4 years and for women was 31.5 years."

Average age of first marriage has been slowly going up for some time.

The highest Divorce rates are for women aged 25-29 and men aged either 25-29 or 30-34, depending on the year (reflecting the tendency of women to marry slightly older men)

"Women in their late twenties had the highest divorce rates of all female age groups, with 23.6 females divorcing per thousand married women aged 25 to 29 in 2012. This continues the general pattern seen over the last two decades.

Men in their early thirties had the highest divorce rate in 2012 with 21.9 males divorcing per thousand married men aged 30 to 34"