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Original poster

Do you think most couples who get married in their twenties last?

465 replies

Whydoesmybackhurt · 14/01/2021 19:23

I've phrased it clumsily, sorry. Do you think couples who meet and marry in their twenties generally are seen to be more successful marriages?

I can't imagine marrying that young, I'm nothing like the person I was in my early twenties. Broke off an engagement and shudder at the fact I nearly married a massive twat. But that's on me clearly, like I say I was really immature Grin

I'm fascinated by people who marry young and successfully grow together with their spouse, just can't imagine that experience at all! I do think it's seen as the 'right' timeline to aspire to in general.

OP posts:
Frozenintime · 14/01/2021 19:41

Yes. Married at 22. Now 49.
Many people forget "for better, for worse".

MrsHuntGeneNotJeremyObviously · 14/01/2021 19:41

DH and I were 24 and 25 when we got married. Couples either grow together or apart - it's not always smooth but you have to put the effort in (assuming a normal relationship here and not one with an abusive bastard).
Not everyone is ready in their 20s.

movingonup20 · 14/01/2021 19:43

Married at 25, getting divorced 22 years later

Mydogmylife · 14/01/2021 19:43

Married at 23, DH was 25, still married, just celebrated ruby wedding .
Everyone's different

Thatsmybutton · 14/01/2021 19:44

Married when we were both 25. Still happily married 31 years later.

AngelicInnocent · 14/01/2021 19:44

Married when I was 21, DH was 22. Still together 25 years and 2 adult kids later.

I think we grew up together.

Plonque · 14/01/2021 19:45

I was with my DH at 18, engaged at 20 and married by 22. It isn't going to last, I know that now.
People romanticise childhood sweethearts etc but I (now) think it's utterly bonkers to think you'll love the person you're with at that age for life. If you do, you've settled and are probably not truly happy.

AlexaShutUp · 14/01/2021 19:45

I got married when I was 27, DH was 33. However, we met and got together when I was 22 and he was 28. We have definitely both changed and matured over the years but I guess we've done it together. We seem to be doing ok 20+ years after marriage and 25+ years after first getting together.Grin

RosesforMama · 14/01/2021 19:46

DH and I were 27 and 28 when we married, but 18 and 19 when we met. Now 49 and 50.

We have such a huge shared history I can't imagine having a husband to whom i couldn't say "do you remember when we were at uni...."

movingonup20 · 14/01/2021 19:46

Of my friends it's about 50/50 still married/divorced, several of the still married ones confessed they are actually wishing they could take the plunge and leave but they are accustomed to their lifestyle

Nonamealoud · 14/01/2021 19:46

Married at 21 been together since I was 16, 12 years married, still my favourite person, best friend and we have 3 amazing ( sometime stroppy teens) dd x

PoppiesinOctober · 14/01/2021 19:47

I (now) think it's utterly bonkers to think you'll love the person you're with at that age for life. If you do, you've settled and are probably not truly happy.

Well that's bollocks

pontresina · 14/01/2021 19:48

I don't know, among my acquaintances there was a flurry of late twenties marriages that were really people settling or doing what they thought was expected of them. Ten years on there have been a lot of divorces.

Based on my own anecdata, I think the strongest couples tend to have married in their thirties.

Fembot123 · 14/01/2021 19:48

@2306IRW

My parents got married when my mum was 19 and dad 21. They celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary this year.

I know a few who all married in their later 20s, out of the 5 couples 2 have had serious problems and 1 doesn't know the wife used to cheat on him every weekend until about a year before they got married 🙈

I wonder if it's a generational thing too?

I myself didn't feel ready until I was about 31/32 but I'm as single as it gets so it won't be happening anytime soon!

Ok I’m only 39 😂😂
KathleenTurnerOverdrive · 14/01/2021 19:48

Many people forget "for better, for worse".

Funnily enough, I don't think people should be stuck in abusive, suffocating marriages that make them unhappy. If you have a) found someone who continues to be a positive force in your life or b) have sucked up misery, well that's your choice, but there's no need to wag the finger at other people.

Fembot123 · 14/01/2021 19:48

That was meant to say Oi not Ok

MoChridhe · 14/01/2021 19:49

My group of friends and I were all married by 28. Only one couple is divorced now and that was because she didn't want any more children after a difficult first pregnancy. He tried to accept her decision but couldn't hack it in the end. He is now remarried.

jellybe · 14/01/2021 19:49

I married at 21 and we are still happily married 15 years later.
I don't think it is an age thing but is a readiness thing -like a previous poster said.

Gouldengirl9 · 14/01/2021 19:50

We got married when I was 19 dh was 21.
42 years later its still going strong.

HTH1 · 14/01/2021 19:50

We got engaged within a few months of meeting (I was 22) and married not long after. All still good 15 years later!

Fairydustrust · 14/01/2021 19:51

I met my dh at 17. Married at 20. Still together at 58. When I look back, I can't believe how young (and capable) we were. My dcs are way older and no way old enough to get married.

christmasathomeagain · 14/01/2021 19:52

20's is a very large age range. I would agree that if you marry between 18-22 then you are young and would have been even younger when you got married. When I was at school I thought I would be married by 21. In reality I I just graduated uni at 21, had not had a serious relationship and was to immature. 2 years later I had just started dating my now DH. We got married at 25/27 and this year will have been married 18 years.

Everyone is different of course but I do think you have to have a certain maturity to make a relationship work and most very young people don't.

Plussizejumpsuit · 14/01/2021 19:52

There's a massive difference between 28 and 23 for example.

I think when you're in your early 20s you are more likely to put up with shit which will become really annoying later. So I'm not sure more successful maybe just the appearance of being happier.

Why do you think you're statement is true?

Original poster
Whydoesmybackhurt · 14/01/2021 19:52

We have such a huge shared history I can't imagine having a husband to whom i couldn't say "do you remember when we were at uni...."

This is so sweet, and I think it's held up as the ideal too.

OP posts:
IHateCoronavirus · 14/01/2021 19:53

We were 24, both now in our 40s and I can’t imagine my life without DH. He is as much a part of my life as my breath. We have been through such happiness and sadness together side by side.
Sometimes I look back at the pictures of us when we were first in love, we looked so young, and my heart breaks for the two kids smiling innocently, blissfully unaware of what the future had in store for them.
When DD died one of the nurses kindly warned us that 72% of marriages end as a result of child loss. I thank heaven everyday that we have managed so far. Fingers crossed we continue to do so x

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