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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Do you think most couples who get married in their twenties last?

465 replies

Whydoesmybackhurt · 14/01/2021 19:23

I've phrased it clumsily, sorry. Do you think couples who meet and marry in their twenties generally are seen to be more successful marriages?

I can't imagine marrying that young, I'm nothing like the person I was in my early twenties. Broke off an engagement and shudder at the fact I nearly married a massive twat. But that's on me clearly, like I say I was really immature Grin

I'm fascinated by people who marry young and successfully grow together with their spouse, just can't imagine that experience at all! I do think it's seen as the 'right' timeline to aspire to in general.

OP posts:
Toucantweet · 14/01/2021 20:06

Married at 27 - together for 6 years prior to marriage but never lived together. Married 29 years 😁. It was the right time for us and he’s my best friend.

Countdowntonothing · 14/01/2021 20:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Siepie · 14/01/2021 20:06

20-29 is a wide maturity range. It also depends on the person/couple. It's much more important to marry the right person than to get married at the 'right' age imo.

I got married age 28. We got together when I was 21 and started living together when I was 23. I was definitely ready to marry her by then.

My parents got together as teenagers and married at 20 and 21. They're still married over 30 years later, but it's definitely not a happy marriage.

ChairinSage · 14/01/2021 20:06

Married at 23 and still happily married 21 years later. I don't think it matters how old you are, out of my friends and family those that married in their 30s after being together for years seem to have the highest divorce rate

wonderwhatshappening1978 · 14/01/2021 20:06

We are, 20 years in. Early 40s

spaceghetto · 14/01/2021 20:09

I married my first boyfriend. We've been married for 11 years, together for 17. I obviously don't know what the future will hold but we've gone through lots of changes together so far and there's nothing i'd want to change about him.

seltzerbigbob · 14/01/2021 20:09

I got married at 16, which is even more extreme, so I'd say absolutely. Depends on the people and the context, though.

(I've NCed, FYI).

tinytemper66 · 14/01/2021 20:10

Married at 24; celebrate 30 years next month.

Tweacle · 14/01/2021 20:11

We did. We met with me as a teen and him early 20's. I'm 50 next month and still happily together. I was 29 when we married though, but we only married to give us both more security.

Whydoesmybackhurt · 14/01/2021 20:11

What a strange question, surely the 'ideal' time is when it's right for you as a couple?

Yes I agree it depends on the individual couple and the two people within that.

But I do think societally there is an ideal of meeting say, at uni, and marrying in your twenties. I wonder if fertility is one of the reasons for this, my biological clock is ticking quite loudly at the minute Wink

OP posts:
GypsyLee · 14/01/2021 20:11

Met at 21 and 22
Married at 25 and 26
Still together 30 + years later, just don't ask me to be precise Grin

CountryLady1 · 14/01/2021 20:12

I married at 23. 8 years later still very happily married and we have a truly wonderful life

Yes we have changed so much. I was 18 when we met, zero money (both of us) but we grew up together got careers together went through some absolutely horrific struggles together and I mean things people should never have to experience and its bonded us greatly.

Our best friends married at age 25 and 27 still happily married 6 years later.

So why not!

meltedgalaxy · 14/01/2021 20:13

I sure hope so I've been married since I was 25 and I'm 29 this year and hoping we last Shock

Josiemac93 · 14/01/2021 20:14

I met my husband when we just turned 17, we are now married and have been together 10 years. Absolutely zero sign of difficulties so far. I think it depends on the couple.

Scarby9 · 14/01/2021 20:15

Some do, some don't.

My brother and SIL, and all my close friends from school and from university who married in their 20s are still together 30 years later bar three couples (3/13 couples now divorced).

Of the divorces, one couple should never have married, and split up in less than 3 months (before some of us had finished the film and had the wedding photos developed at Boots!), one's husband had a series of affairs and the third couple just grew part and split last year.

Not a bad success rate, really.

DenisetheMenace · 14/01/2021 20:15

Can only speak personally but it worked well for us. Very happy 33 years on.

BertieBob · 14/01/2021 20:16

No idea. I met DH when I was 16 (he was 17). We married at 25/26. Still together 21 years later. I think we were quite rare having got together so young, I don't think statistically we are more likely to stay married.

LadyJaye · 14/01/2021 20:16

Not married, but DP and I have been together since I was 23, he 25 - 41 and 43 now, respectively.

I do, however, sometimes wonder if the fact that we're not married and don't have children by choice has quite a lot to with that, though.

LouNatics · 14/01/2021 20:18

Group of four couples I’ve known from being at school.
One - met at 17/18, married at 23/24, still together 20 years later
Two - met at 17/25, married at 19/27, still together 20 years later
Three - met at 20/24, not married, still together 20 years later
Four - me - met at 17/18, not married, still together 20 years later
We are mostly all in the parenting teenagers life stages now.

Peachypips78 · 14/01/2021 20:19

Married at 22 and 24. Been married nearly 20 years and as happy as when we met at 19 and 21! We have grown up together and grown in our love for each other.

5foot5 · 14/01/2021 20:19

I hope so I was 24 and DH 29 and so far so good (ish)

Absolutely the same!
We met socially when I was 22 and started going out on my 23rd birthday. Married when I was 24 and a half.

He is now 63 and I am 58 and we will be celebrating our 34th wedding anniversary soon. All good so far.

I would be more doubtful about people who get together in their teens.

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 14/01/2021 20:20

We met at 17 and were engaged 6 weeks later when i was 17 and he had just turned 18

We were married at 21, so hopefully it’ll last 😀

I think it does depends on finding the right person at the right time...but i do have friends who thought theyd found that when they got together with their first partner

Woodlandbelle · 14/01/2021 20:20

We married at 32 and 33 and only got together 2 years before we married (18 month dating and 6 month engagement)
I am glad I didn't marry younger as I feel like has been more steady and lovely kids etc but I definitely had more fun and more travel. Did a masters. Had more money etc. So I think I am happy to take rocky patches now that I would have resented more in my 20s

20CMB21 · 14/01/2021 20:21

I'm not convinced it's an age thing - more an experience thing. My parents were 20 when they got married, and 21 when they had me; 50 years on, they are still happily married. But they both left school at 16, so had already been out in the big wide world for a bit by the time they got married. So it's a bit like someone now getting married four years after leaving university (i.e. mid-late 20s).

Or maybe they were just lucky and have worked hard to make sure they have remained 'lucky'.

I was 30, and am divorced.

Fieldofyellowflowers · 14/01/2021 20:22

I know plenty of people who married in their twenties and are still going strong.

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