I can't buy you formula but il help you breastfeed ?

[zuptop]

I have just seen this on one of the local Facebook groups . Can't help but feel this is adding pressure onto women who already have made decision to formula feed.

Something just doesn't sit right for me...
Although I am sure they believe they are being kind

"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

So YABU- lady in question is just trying to help mums build milk supply or
YANBU- post is a little judge of formula and putting pressure on mums to breastfeed when they might not want to/ be able to.

I had a nightmare trying to bf my baby (now 13 yrs) she was early, and had jaundice and just wouldn't latch on. The midwives at the hospital weren't much use, and the BF cafes were always on the wrong day! Because of the jaundice I was pressured to FF and cup feed (hideous) and I pumped and bottlefed until she was a year old. I really tried but there was no-one to help me! I went to every breastfeeding cafe that I could and at one point she was about 6 months old and the midwife on duty at the bf cafe said to me 'are you sure you want to carry on trying with this, you have such a fine baby', and I realised that that was that. I could live with the FF because I had made sure she had a decent ebf feed at least once a day, but I still felt awful. Like I'd failed her. It was pretty crushing. So great if you can BF, but for some of us, it just doesn't work, or the support just isn't there at the right time.
Because of my experience I never judge how people feed their babies.

[quote Draineddraineddrained]@SomewhatBored

What a stupid policy. If someone is already formula feeding and needs a food bank to feed their baby, what are they supposed to do? They can't start lactating on demand.

See the useful info above on policy here - an emergency payment can be made to bridge the gap while parents seek vouchers from their local council. This ensures the baby gets the right amount of the right formula for them, not leave them reliant on whatever happens to have been donated that day. Much safer and better for the baby. Infant nutrition isn't something to be treated casually, so it isn't.[/quote]
OK, I understand they might not have the right formula in, in which case I agree, giving a payment is a good idea.

But if they accepted donations of formula, it wouldn't always be the wrong formula that was in stock. If they give a payment, they are relying on the parents knowing the right type of formula to buy in a shop - so why would they not keep formula in stock if donated, and ask them what kind their child was on, and then it could be given immediately if they had it in?

The money to be made in the infant feeding world is in formula, not breastfeeding support.

Yep!!
The formula companies are laughing all the way to the bank. The more people that formula feed, the more money in their pockets. They don't want more people to breastfeed, they want the opposite.

There is so much money to be made from infant formula that companies have to be banned by law from advertising it, leading them to create an entirely new and unnecessary product in the form of follow-on milk so that they have something they can legally promote.

[quote Draineddraineddrained]@SomewhatBored

What a stupid policy. If someone is already formula feeding and needs a food bank to feed their baby, what are they supposed to do? They can't start lactating on demand.

See the useful info above on policy here - an emergency payment can be made to bridge the gap while parents seek vouchers from their local council. This ensures the baby gets the right amount of the right formula for them, not leave them reliant on whatever happens to have been donated that day. Much safer and better for the baby. Infant nutrition isn't something to be treated casually, so it isn't.[/quote]
This.

[quote Draineddraineddrained]@zuptop

it has been mentioned throughout not everyone can breastfeed so it is potentially reintroducing painful memories of it to women who are formula feeding for example they have had to have a mastectomy !

I'm very sorry but we CAN'T just stop talking about breastfeeding in public because it may upset some mothers who have been forced to or have chosen to formula feed. We just can't. The vast majority of women when pregnant want to breastfeed. The vast majority who have had to stop say they stopped because they wanted to. In our country, the statistics suggest a significant number of women would not have had to stop feeding if they got the right support and advice - our rates are so low, and our reported reasons for stopping feeding would indicate levels of medical inability to breastfeed that are completely out of proportion with the rest of the world, and indicates the other factors at play (lack of family support, lack of specialist teams and ignorance and misinformation by maternity healthcare providers, for example).

Having to stop feeding before you wanted to is often devastating for women. It can precipitate depression. It can be a wound that they carry for a long time, which is why so many are so sensitive and see judgment in every promotion of or support for breastfeeding, every study that indicates it has benefits etc. Because there is such a thing as breastfeeding grief and it is traumatic.

We cannot privilege the feelings of those who have been the victim of this grief to the extent that we create more victims by failing to publicise good evidence-based breastfeeding support. It's horrible if people are hurt, but new mothers struggling to breastfeed cannot be expected to shut up and recieve no help to preserve the feelings of the ones who went without help before them.[/quote]
Very well put.

webuildthisbuffetonsausagerolls if you're going to use the insulin analogy, can you imagine a group of well meaning volunteers with no medical knowledge been allowed to give whatever brand or dose of insulin they happen to of had donated to anyone who comes in, without knowing anything about their situation? Or would a more regulated pathway (like gp) be more appropriate? That's why food banks shouldn't be givening out formula, diverging from the "biological norm" undoubtedly saves likes in both cases, but needs to be done carefully.

@Draineddraineddrained - if someone were looking for snow boots and you would come and tell them, listen, I will teach you how to use your wellies in winter instead, that would be a pretty good comparison. Your logic is failed.

[quote EerieSilence]@Draineddraineddrained - if someone were looking for snow boots and you would come and tell them, listen, I will teach you how to use your wellies in winter instead, that would be a pretty good comparison. Your logic is failed.[/quote]
Are snowboots formula? And wellies breastmilk? Snowboots are obviously better in the winter, so are you saying that breastmilk is not fit for purpose?

If they give a payment, they are relying on the parents knowing the right type of formula to buy in a shop - so why would they not keep formula in stock if donated, and ask them what kind their child was on, and then it could be given immediately if they had it in?

This sounds very convoluted to me - how would the volunteers at a food bank decide between multiple infants on the same formula or keep stock of the many different formulas available -- at cost of other food options? If the parent doesn't know the right formula in a shop, how would they know to tell the food bank? Why treat low-wage people like we have no idea how to feed our children?

There is already a method of helping with formula costs that provides better consistency than a food bank can. Healthy Start vouchers have been around for ages. They were around when my now 16-year-old was a baby. Maybe because of the area I live in, I was well-informed about them - it gives a bit for parents of young children to get formula, milk, fruit, veg, pulses (when my oldest was young, it was just formula and milk, but it's been expanded over the years). I had them for years - sometimes awkward to use, but no more than any other vouchers or going to a food bank.

Promoting that would have been great for the person promoting their own service to do, probably would have made it a little less prickly sounding, but I'm not going to assume the worst of her for offering her services in this way. That doesn't benefit anyone. Mix/combination feeders deserve respect and support too and sometimes that means acknowledging many who use formula also breastfeed and may want breastfeeding support.

People complain that there isn't enough support available for mothers who struggle to breastfeed, and then look how someone who offered free support is being treated here!

[quote SnuggyBuggy]@SleepingStandingUp yes it would depend on the ratio. I just remember throwing loads away during my brief period of doing top up feeds. We could afford it but it felt so wasteful.[/quote]
Ah, FF fat twins here, never a drop wastes 😂. But yeah of you're doing odd feeds your better with the bottles of liquid

I'd take it as she can't afford to buy formula for people but still wants to help as she is trained in that area. I can see how it could come across badly but would give her the benefit of the doubt.

If the parent doesn't know the right formula in a shop, how would they know to tell the food bank? Why treat low-wage people like we have no idea how to feed our children?

I think you've misunderstood what I was saying - apologies if it was unclear. I meant that they give the payment in the knowledge the parent will be able to choose the right formula in the shop, so why should they not be equally capable of choosing the right formula in the food bank.

how would the volunteers at a food bank decide between multiple infants on the same formula

How do they decide between multiple people needing anything that they don't have enough of? I don't know because I haven't worked at a food bank, but I don't understand why formula would be different from anything else in limited supply.

or keep stock of the many different formulas available -- at cost of other food options?

If we are talking about donations, why would it be at the cost of other options? And surely they only need to know the child's age/stage and if they have any allergies to find a suitable product?

As someone who couldn't breast feed and was on the receiving end of many well meaning ridiculous comments like this one it makes me bristle just reading it.

I can't bear the breastfeeding police. When are we going to stop telling women what to do with their bodies?

Totally agree with you OP, it's so judgemental. The person in question presumably wasn't asking for help to breastfeed, they were asking for formula. It's very holier than thou to think that you know better.
Offer to meet the need the person actually has, or stay quiet.

O, and also, lots of the food banks local to me do have formula.

@MrsSchrute the thing is no one had even asked , it was just randomly posted an the local village estates Facebook group. Seemed so inappropriate to me , fair enough if generally saying if anyone needs breastfeeding support I can help but not to specifically say those who are struggling to purchase formula. It's so preachy as though let me show you the light - there is another way !

@Onedaysomedaynowadays yes exactly ! Female has chose to not breast fed , this female really shouldn't be persuading her to go back on her choice .

I would just put a 😂 face on her Facebook post. The breast feeding brigade are so so 🙄 😜

It's so preachy as though let me show you the light - there is another way !

I don’t think it is. I think that’s just the way you’re reading it. As an example, a cafe we visited had a sign saying they welcomed breastfeeding mothers then another sign saying that they couldn’t/wouldn’t heat up formula milk. I assumed this was a pro-breastfeeding stance but it was actually due to their worry about being held liable if there was an accident due to the temperature of the milk.

This lady is kindly offering to help mothers who are breastfeeding but could do with support and advice.

On the other hand, the formula milk companies push their milk to the detriment of breastfeeding including their crap about follow-on milk - purely invented to subvert the ban on advertising formula. Disgusting. As is their little ‘“breast is best’ - so you can’t sue us because we told you” message.

Yabu

OP you have already decided how it is - why on earth have you asked on here? You have not taken into consideration how a large majority of us have read the post and are convinced you are right. Comes across like you have started a thread that you know is controversial and causes heated debate.

@his lady is kindly offering to help mothers who are breastfeeding but could do with support and advice. @BreatheAndFocus she doesn't say that though does she ? She says she wants to help those who formula feed

@EerieSilence

No-one was asking for "snow boots"/formula. The poster just put the offer out there with a view to helping parents save s bit of money. It was s kind act that's being massively overinterpreted and misread by people on here as sanctimonious.

I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula

@BreatheAndFocus