I can't buy you formula but il help you breastfeed ?

[zuptop]

I have just seen this on one of the local Facebook groups . Can't help but feel this is adding pressure onto women who already have made decision to formula feed.

Something just doesn't sit right for me...
Although I am sure they believe they are being kind

"As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

So YABU- lady in question is just trying to help mums build milk supply or
YANBU- post is a little judge of formula and putting pressure on mums to breastfeed when they might not want to/ be able to.

[quote zuptop]**@his* lady is kindly offering to help mothers who are breastfeeding but could do with support and advice. @BreatheAndFocus* she doesn't say that though does she ? She says she wants to help those who formula feed

[/quote]
Well, not explicitly, but she does say:

”I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy”

Which clearly implies she’s aiming her offer at women who are already breastfeeding and struggling with supply and/or having to top-up with formula. She’s offering to help them increase their milk and thus save money.

So why would you assume the only parents struggling to pay for formula would have no breastmilk? When you yourself used both at once??

Because I imagine in the vast majoirty of cases they already don't. Anyone who is mixed feeding successfully and can't really afford formula already knows they will just have to BF a bit more.

And as others have said, the message comes across as a bit preachy and judgemental. She means well but it's badly worded. Just offer BFing counselling and leave it at that.

@Draineddraineddrained

As well as donating items to a local food bank, I’d like to help parents who are struggling to afford infant formula. I can’t buy any for you but I can support you to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy.
I’m a trained breastfeeding peer supporter and I’m part way through my breastfeeding counsellor studies"

If I were in a situation that for some reason I decided not to breastfeed and was in a desperate need of formula, I'd be fuming. Especially as milk doesn't come on command when you already started feeding formula and I don't think a new mother, already stressed out because of financial worries needs additional worry of trying to squeeze some milk from her milk ducts. And, once again, I will stress that I am very pro-breastfeeding and my daughter drank formula milk as a treat and not as nutrition and she was over one year old at that stage.

@EerieSilence exactly !

Will get flamed for this, but, according to Mumsnet, breastfeeding is impossible and no one can do it; even if you can, it is absolutely more important that you don't want to than the fact that it is Nature's way to feed your baby and best for all sorts of reasons.

While I accept that a few women genuinely can't breastfeed, I can't believe that it is anywhere near the number that Mumsnet would have us believe. It takes a little bit of time for both the mother and baby to learn how to do it so both are happy, but I think that the vast majority of mothers could, would and should breastfeed.

It sounds to me like she was trying to help and encourage.

It would be for those mixed feeding. Not to re lactate. Really looking for something to be offended about. It's great she is giving free advice. If you don't like the advice don't do it... Surely it's as simple as that

It sounds to me like she was trying to help and encourage.

Not really she is aiming her services at those struggling to afford formula not those who could be of any income levels who need help with breastfeeding. And to me ‘struggling to afford formula’ implies already formula feeding, as using it for the odd top up would not work out so expensive. I also get the lady bountiful vibe with her mention of donating to food banks. Perhaps her intentions are good but her wording just sounds a bit off.

@MsJudgemental

Will get flamed for this, but, according to Mumsnet, breastfeeding is impossible and no one can do it; even if you can, it is absolutely more important that you don't want to than the fact that it is Nature's way to feed your baby and best for all sorts of reasons.

While I accept that a few women genuinely can't breastfeed, I can't believe that it is anywhere near the number that Mumsnet would have us believe. It takes a little bit of time for both the mother and baby to learn how to do it so both are happy, but I think that the vast majority of mothers could, would and should breastfeed.

It sounds to me like she was trying to help and encourage.

Your username really compliments your post. “Should breastfeed”? Good lord.

I agree with OP. It sounds luke its aimed at formula feeders to change their choice. Not helpful at all!

YABU. Theres a desperate lack of support for mums out there. Someone is offering her help, how is that a bad thing? Presumably the people who aren't interested won't take up her offer.

Today 14:15 nokidshere

You are not allowed to donate formula to food banks.

My daughter donated 3 tins to the independent church bank in our town in the first wave of the pandemic. They were a substitute in her delivered shop and baby didn’t take to it. They were sealed and dated and they were very happy to take them. Trusses Trust won’t though.

She's doing a great thing.
Pressuring would be if she was PMing mums who formula feed and spamming them with messages. She's just offering her support which people can take or leave.

We've got some of the worst breastfeeding rates in the world and this lady is trying to support people, which some low income families might really benefit from, especially as breastfeeding rates are especially low amongst low income families.

There is a lot in the world to be offended by.

This isn't one of them.

@MsJudgemental I wholeheartedly have to disagree with you. "... I think the vast majority of mothers could, would and should breastfeed". This is incredibly rude and offensive in my opinion.
Firstly you do not know the personal circumstances of every person. Could, maybe they could, maybe they couldn't, maybe they tried then for whatever reason they found it too difficult and decided to stop. It's nothing to do with you.
Secondly would, how do you know if they would or not? Maybe they would if they could but they can't? Maybe they would and have tried but then chose to stop. Or maybe they wouldn't? Not everyone wants to and that is perfectly fine. Again not your business.
Thirdly you have absolutely no right to say anyone should. No they should not if they don't want to. If a mum wants to breastfeed and does that's fine. If a mum wants to breastfeed, tries then changes their mind that's fine too. If a mum expresses breast milk that's okay. If a mum chooses to combination feed that's also okay. Equally if a mum simply decides that she does not want to breastfeed or express, even if she doesn't want to try it once, that is still a perfectly safe and acceptable option.
How anyone chooses to feed their baby is nothing to do with you whatsoever, you have no right at all to judge other people like this. Your comment was rude, unnecessary, and extremely judgmental.
I chose not to breastfeed or express. I knew I did not want to at all. It wasn't for me. So I never did. I've never ever regretted my decision as it was my choice to make. I know exclusively formula feeding was 100% best for both my baby and myself. I do not appreciate comments like yours which insinuate I was wrong or a bad mum for doing so.

Where does she say anything about formula being bad? She says she’s a breastfeeding peer supporter? And offering her support? Breastfeeding is free, formula is not. Surely if you’re using a food bank, breastfeeding is better as it’s free.
No where does she say anything bad about formula! I think it must have touched a nerve.

@Siennabear I think the should have offered support to anyone who would like breastfeeding support . Instead she has specifically singled out people who give formula. No nerve touched but I'm a supporter in women being able to decide what they want to do with their body. If someone has decided not to breastfeed and now are in financial difficulty that woman trying to get them to breastfeed again is not always going to be the answer

[quote zuptop]@Siennabear I think the should have offered support to anyone who would like breastfeeding support . Instead she has specifically singled out people who give formula. No nerve touched but I'm a supporter in women being able to decide what they want to do with their body. If someone has decided not to breastfeed and now are in financial difficulty that woman trying to get them to breastfeed again is not always going to be the answer [/quote]
It isn't aimed at people who aren't breast feeding.

It is clearly aimed at people who are combi feeding

How many times does that need repeating? She isn't trying to get women to recommence lactation, she's offering to boost supply.

to maximise your breast milk production and therefore decrease how much formula you need to buy

Nothing there suggests she thinks she can make women who aren't lactating start lactating.

Plenty of women who combi feed do it for convenience but many also do it due to supply.

I pumped for 6 months for my son, but the last two months of that my supply was dwindling so he had formula as well. I only pumped for a month with my twins as my supply was never good so for the last week of that they were combi fed.
Had I had an offer like this I could have increased my supply and needed to use less, not necessarily no, formula.

She's clearly talking money not evils of FF as it's about spending less on formula and alongside a food bank comment.

Honestly op i think you just want another reason to dislike her. She's there, offering to help people bf when she doesn't work and relied on benefits. Is that what's getting to you? So you think she's earning cash in hand getting women to bf?

@MsJudgemental what an awful post. Some people really can't accept that some women just dislike breastfeeding, and won't accept people that can't breastfeed for one reason or another.
The posts I love are from the breastfeeding mum's that sincerely don't judge others for formula feeding. Those kind of posts meant the world to me when I was really struggling with breastfeeding and wanted to switch to formula.
The Facebook post is really odd, she didn't need to mention formula at all.

@SleepingStandingUp

You're wasting your time. What the poster clearly meant has been pointed out to the OP several times, but she's putting her fingers in her ears and going lalala because she wants to be huffy on behalf of all these women being forced to relactate or something

She's offering her skills. What she CAN do. If someone offers a free sofa would you be offended if you needed a chair?

You're right drained

The whole post is in the context of lockdown, families struggling and wanting to save money. IN THAT CONTEXT why would she offer support to women who are EBF - they're not spending money on feeding?? Of course this is aimed at women who are using or planning to use some formula, either through preference or necessity, and are worried about the cost - but have a breastmilk supply they would like help to increase. Given how many women combi feed for precisely the reason that they either have or are led to believe by HCPs that they have a low breast milk supply, this makes perfect sense to anyone who isn't going out of their way to take it the wrong way.

There are rules and guidance re buying/offering/discount infant formula so a trained lactation consultant wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of that, hence instead offering her expertise for free. Seems like a fab idea.

I just read it again and again and for me it's clearl that this woman is supporting food banks but probably not allowed to donate formula thus offering those who need a helping hand with brestfeeding.
So if someone is struggling and worried about breastmilk supply she will help you to continue breastfeeding/increasing supply/concentrating on mum nutrition rather than spending money on formula which may be unnecessary etc.
Why being so judgy?YABU

Yabu, OP. Someone is offering to help out as best they can. No need to be upset if you don't personally need the specific help offered.