DH just sabotaged my lie in in the most spectacular fashion.

[bananamuncher]

I was up most of the night with writhing breastfeeding toddler, DH promised me a lie in as I sobbed at 3am about my poor battered nipples. Morning arrives. 5 year old wakes and DH takes his sweet time to get up and take him downstairs which means I’m basically awake now. I hear screaming and sighing and much drama from downstairs. I do get brought a cup of tea in bed though, (proofof no intention to let me sleep...?) While delivering tea he asks me lots of questions about where things are and the day’s weather (how the fuck would I know?).

Five year old comes flying in, switches on lights and climbs under the covers, waking toddler and bringing dog into bed. I can hear DH downstairs playing the fucking guitar! He finally comes up to collect five year old and also takes toddler downstairs. Complains he is useless at making coffee and he can’t find many, many things.

I hear more screaming and shouting from downstairs and decide to give up and go down. I get downstairs to kitchen,DH, five year old and dog all covered in milk ( some bizarre accident apparently) DH inconsolable and flapping about incapable of cleaning it up. Five year old now running around naked except open dressing gown, DH still quizzing me about toddlers missing slipper and the fucking weather!

He’s now taken himself off for a bath....

WIBU to bury him under the patio?

I’m laughing about it to be honest but Jesus Christ....

@CorianderBlues

How do you cope when you/he has to go to work?

I hate shit like this.

What she would do in a situation that doesn’t currently exist is irrelevant.

*mrbandfritz" no such thing as excessive where evil DH's are concerned!!! You new here?!

Is this the same husband that you left 2 years ago? Or have you remarried since then?

@Nancylovesthecock

I wouldn't be fucking laughing

This.

There is nothing even remotely funny about this.

Or about women living with useless, selfish men and laughing their selfish behaviour off as, ' 'what is he like!'

Think about this, he is capable of playing a guitar but not making a cup of coffee or cleaning up spilt milk? That isn't incompetence that is choice Yup

Not sure what gives me more rage - the fact that men just assume it is okay for them to be this selfish or that women are socialised into thinking this is what men are hilariously and inevitably like so that they have to get up and sort things out for these poor hapless men..

Bit annoying
But not a big deal
Just life with two young children (how old is your toddler though? The nights you are having is more what I experienced when babies not toddlers?)

Yes DH sounds a bit selfish this morning but don’t know enough to really scathe him ie puts a different slant on it if you get a lie I. 6/7 days!

But ultimately if he’s generally a good decent dh and father and this not like him, let it go.

Sounds like he needs to get his shit together and I’d be telling him so. My DH can appear to be completely useless on occasion too and I have realised it’s a tactic to get out of doing things. I tell him straight that I expect him to step up and do his bit. If he wants to regress to the 1950’s then I’m more than happy to resign from my full time job and let him be the only wage earner. He gets in with things pretty quickly wfter that.

He sounds like a dickhead.

I think it is the guitar playing that would make me the most furious in the middle of all that chaos. You are a saint, OP.

Strategic Incompetence boils my blood. This is why I have no intentioned living with a man again. When ExH has DD he has her. No assistance. It's amazing how they can do shit when they have to.

was up most of the night with writhing breastfeeding toddler, DH promised me a lie in as I sobbed at 3am about my poor battered nipples

What a martyr. Stop breastfeeding a toddler, why are you up all night breastfeeding when they can drink milk out of a cup??

I'd clean it. Be icy calm with 'D'H and then when they children in bed read him the riot act. I have an H who is prone to conscious incompetence like this unless he is constantly henpecked.
Inform him the night before you are having a lie in. Get things ready. Instruct him that children must be taken down immediately and you will set an alarm so no dumping them on you. Instruct him curtains open, breakfast things cleared, floor swept and children washed and dressed. Write him a fucking list.
I am in the process of extracting myself from mine due to this lot. You may laugh, but can you work harder just for a semi lie in for the next 5 years?

I wouldn't be laughing.

@ukgift2016

was up most of the night with writhing breastfeeding toddler, DH promised me a lie in as I sobbed at 3am about my poor battered nipples

What a martyr. Stop breastfeeding a toddler, why are you up all night breastfeeding when they can drink milk out of a cup??

That’s why I have asked age Because really - if we are talking about a 2 year old Jack in the breastfeeding and get some sleep!!

I wouldnt be laughing at this at all.

Noone lies in in my house 😂

This isn’t even remotely funny. I’d lose complete respect for him fast. Is he normally so selfish?

Have a serious word with him. Throw in a couple of choice swear words (but just literally a couple! No more. With emphasis!) and let him know he was mean and that he needs to be more responsible

Tell him straight out what you’ve told us. When he has a lie in do you pull this shit? I bet you don’t.

Tell him that when it’s your turn for a lie in you expect what you do for him - getting the kids downstairs quietly, keeping them amused and quiet and staying quiet till you get up.

@StormyInTheNorth

I'd clean it. Be icy calm with 'D'H and then when they children in bed read him the riot act. I have an H who is prone to conscious incompetence like this unless he is constantly henpecked. Inform him the night before you are having a lie in. Get things ready. Instruct him that children must be taken down immediately and you will set an alarm so no dumping them on you. Instruct him curtains open, breakfast things cleared, floor swept and children washed and dressed. Write him a fucking list. I am in the process of extracting myself from mine due to this lot. You may laugh, but can you work harder just for a semi lie in for the next 5 years?

My god. Imagine all this effort and palaver to get an adult not to act the complete bollox for one morning. 🙄

* I'd clean it. Be icy calm with 'D'H and then when they children in bed read him the riot act.*

What a thoroughly shit way to spend the day.
Stuck at home
And just tension all day
Shit for the children too

Wait until toddler napping
Park 5 year old in front of a bit of TV

Sit down and have a chat with DH over a coffee

What is with some women who think it's acceptable to tolerate this from their partners?

Oh and I'm with @dyslek too. Time to wean, or at least night wean, the toddler.

@StormyInTheNorth

You give advice
But then say you’re divorcing your husband because you have to follow that kind of palaver to get him to do anything!

Instruct him curtains open, breakfast things cleared, floor swept and children washed and dressed. Write him a fucking list.

What?

It’s the guitar that is the most obnoxious part.