DH just sabotaged my lie in in the most spectacular fashion.

[bananamuncher]

I was up most of the night with writhing breastfeeding toddler, DH promised me a lie in as I sobbed at 3am about my poor battered nipples. Morning arrives. 5 year old wakes and DH takes his sweet time to get up and take him downstairs which means I’m basically awake now. I hear screaming and sighing and much drama from downstairs. I do get brought a cup of tea in bed though, (proofof no intention to let me sleep...?) While delivering tea he asks me lots of questions about where things are and the day’s weather (how the fuck would I know?).

Five year old comes flying in, switches on lights and climbs under the covers, waking toddler and bringing dog into bed. I can hear DH downstairs playing the fucking guitar! He finally comes up to collect five year old and also takes toddler downstairs. Complains he is useless at making coffee and he can’t find many, many things.

I hear more screaming and shouting from downstairs and decide to give up and go down. I get downstairs to kitchen,DH, five year old and dog all covered in milk ( some bizarre accident apparently) DH inconsolable and flapping about incapable of cleaning it up. Five year old now running around naked except open dressing gown, DH still quizzing me about toddlers missing slipper and the fucking weather!

He’s now taken himself off for a bath....

WIBU to bury him under the patio?

I’m laughing about it to be honest but Jesus Christ....

Why can't you still divorce him?

Sabotage is the right word op. What a selfish passive aggressive way to behave. You might laugh now but Mark my words fast forward a few years and you'll resent him big time.

mrbandfritz yes!!! And hopefully it's an electric guitar to boot so she can boil him like a lobster in that bath grrrr!! He certainly deserves it!!!!!

🙄

Also wouldn't be laughing, OP, sorry (unless actually hysterical).

Why did you marry him?

I wouldn't laugh Id bloody kill him.

Next time he has a lie in, can you do the same back?
It may be the only way he can actually understand why your "lie in" was anything but, by experiencing similar himself.

I honestly get fed up with these feckless arses who seem unable to do the most basics of child and self care.

@FrenchBoule

I would have shoved fucking guitar up his arse 😡

Don’t let him sleep overnight. See how he likes it

Getting up in the night to feed a toddler is entirely her choice, and entirely unneccesary though.

God I hate posts like this.

This really isn't funny. We have a rule that if someone is having a lie in, as soon as you leave the bedroom you basically aren't to come in unless it's actually important and you're quiet about it. We agree a time to be up for then after that time, noise etc is fair game, but before? No. Unless something happens which is out of the ordinary and genuinely needs two people.

I'd go back to bed after his bath and either sleep or at least lie down and chill on your phone for a bit. He needs to realise that being useless doesn't get him out of parenting. In fact, it makes him solo parent even longer.

Things like this make me actually glad I was a single parent from birth and didn't get lie ins, help etc. So expectations, no disappointments! I'm sorry, he sounds useless.

Yanbu. However I think some peoples idea of a ‘lie in’ differs. For you it means you want some more sleep and not to be disturbed. Your DH might think it means physically being able to stay in bed.

Yes just keep trying to have your lie in until it occurs. He'll eventually get pissed off if he's alone every morning. Might flap less.

Just because it's common doesn't make it funny. In fact that's what makes it depressing.

The solution to this, OP, is to have your DH do this on a regular basis. Say, 3 days per week, he has to do the morning routine. He will soon learn how to manage things by hard experience! After all, you had to, didn't you? And no giving in and taking pity on him!

Is it always so chaotic in your house in the morning? If schools were open the pair of you would have had to have got the 5 year old up, fed, dressed and out of the house by, so really I would have expected him to have sorted them out and be cracking on with school work by now.

@lotusbell

Things like this make me actually glad I was a single parent from birth and didn't get lie ins, help etc. So expectations, no disappointments! I'm sorry, he sounds useless.

Totally agree.

Think about this, OP. You have two full time single parents who pity you because your husband is such a fucking useless waste of space he makes your job even harder than it would be if you were completely on your own.

@Scarlettpixie

Yanbu. However I think some peoples idea of a ‘lie in’ differs. For you it means you want some more sleep and not to be disturbed. Your DH might think it means physically being able to stay in bed.

If people are that thick they need more help than we can give on mumsnet.

It’s funny for him

As you won’t ask him again

Poor little incompetent male

How do you cope when you/he has to go to work?

Why are you laughing? He's a selfish arse. And he knew what he was doing. So a deliberately selfish arse.

To be fair, Coriander, if the toddler wasn't well, feeding was maybe the only thing soothing them? I never breastfed myself but whenever my toddler (1 year old) is ill and upset, sometimes a bottle is the best thing for calming them down. I'd imagine even moreso with BF. We all do whatever it takes at 3am to try get them back to sleep.

If people are that thick they need more help than we can give on mumsnet.

😂😂😂

Playing the guitar??? Selfish arse!

My DH is fairly useless at getting DD up and ready for anything, but he’d at least manage to give her something for breakfast and stick a Disney film on! Who can’t manage that? I can only assume it’s deliberate

No, Gilda125, that would be excessive. Do calm down. And get a grip with the exclamation marks.