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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel too fat to run in daylight 😔

202 replies

Trulyatraditionalman · 14/01/2021 08:49

Hi all. I'm 31 and on the wrong side of 15st, and am currently doing Couch to 5k whilst trying to make healthier choices in general. I just can't shake the idea that everyone is staring at me when I'm out and about, so I only go on runs in the dark! I'm absolutely terrified of being heckled (I was bullied for my weight at school). The problem is that I also feel unsafe out running in the dark, so it's a catch-22!

For someone very overweight, I actually feel like I have relatively good fitness levels and don't get puffed out on my runs until the very end. I absolutely love running and wish I didn't feel so self conscious.

Am I being totally unreasonable to feel like this?

YABU - People don't give two figs what size you are when you're running, just crack on whatever time of day
YANBU - It's understandable/I've had experience feeling the same way.

Feel free to give me a stern talking to!

OP posts:
booandbumpp · 14/01/2021 15:25

@Trulyatraditionalman Whooooppp! Well done OP! yoga for Adrienne does some videos for post running stretches if you’re feeling it in your knees!

anniegun · 14/01/2021 15:26

I admire anyone who runs, no matter what they look like or how fast they are moving

Original poster
Trulyatraditionalman · 14/01/2021 15:27

@booandbumpp Thanks for reminding me, I've done some of her videos in the past. She's great!

OP posts:
Original poster
Trulyatraditionalman · 14/01/2021 15:30

According to my fitness tracker, I did 5.8k!

On another note, I think my C25k app keeps freezing intermittently whenever my phone is locked, so the periods of walking and running last longer than they're supposed to?! Anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:
WiseOwlRelaxing · 14/01/2021 15:30

I would stick to walking. I was out running after my second child when two arseholes whose ag3s combined might have been about rhe same as my age. They had made a crass comment about my chest, and the weird way i was running. It did hurt. I thought about it with hurt and RAGE for ages afterwards. So im going to advise protecting yrslf and walking

Wontdothisagain · 14/01/2021 15:41

Late to the thread but yabu.

Whenever I see someone running whatever their size I think how bloody fantastic they are.

C25K is a life changing programme.

Be proud of your running. On the off chance that some loser passes negative comment let it go over your head.

laudete · 14/01/2021 15:53

@Trulyatraditionalman

According to my fitness tracker, I did 5.8k!

On another note, I think my C25k app keeps freezing intermittently whenever my phone is locked, so the periods of walking and running last longer than they're supposed to?! Anyone else experienced this?

Well done! That's a lot of running steps.

The only time people are likely to notice you is if you are kitted out in specialist sports gear. There are lots of runners and walkers in my area. The only ones that stand out in my memory are the person who wears dayglo neon leggings and the person who uses those special "walk faster" hiking sticks. Everyone else seems to wear regular sports gear or ordinary clothes.

WouldBeGood · 14/01/2021 15:57

Gosh, @Trulyatraditionalman that’s exactly how I’m feeling, though I’ve been too embarrassed to get out there. I’d been trying in the gym and was doing well, but going out in public seems a step too far. I was also thinner a few years ago and did it fine then.

So even though YABU really, I know how you feel!

BooksMusicSnacks · 14/01/2021 16:38

Well done OP and hope you enjoyed your run! You go running whenever and wherever you feel happy.

Some people are just utter arseholes and will make comments whether you're running, walking, in the supermarket, minding your own business. Whether you're tall, short, heavier, lighter, female, wearing a particular top … it's really not about you, it's about them.

I started running last year and if anyone said a word to me I'd be unlikely to hear them, plugged into the music! I like running round here, and come to think of it, it's a grand mix of people. No average shape or size, and I love it because we all smile at each other like we are in a special secret club. Good on you; you sound like the kind of person who will inspire others.

cyclingmad · 14/01/2021 17:24

The hypocrisy of some people is amazing, they are the people who judge others for being overweight and then when the overweight person goes exercising they judge them again.

Its like whats wrong with you, be happy that person is doing something to improve their health.

Then again just remember you can lose weight and make those changes but arseholes will still stay arseholes, much harder to change your personality

Yohoheaveho · 14/01/2021 17:28

some loser passes negative comment let it go over your head
or say, 'alright mate, lets see you run, lets see how good you are'
well obvs no one should pause their important business (aka 'the run') to indulge these eeejits, but I wonder what they would do....

DuzzyFuck · 14/01/2021 17:32

Get out there and run OP! I promise that the majority of people looking will be thinking 'good on you' and that any tiny minority who are dicks are doing so because they can't stand that you're putting them to shame!

MaudsMotorbike · 14/01/2021 17:38

I'm a runner and I've run at all sizes... when I see an overweight person out on a run I feel envious and inspired. Get out there and enjoy yourself. Don't stop!

thefallthroughtheair · 14/01/2021 17:42

Stern talking to coming! (seeing as you asked!): obvs you are not bu to worry about it but you've got to carry on running regardless and can't get into a catch-22. If you want to do something about your weight and you like running, that is a great combination and you will end up feeling better mentally as well as physically for facing your fears.
Go for it and good luck!

M0rT · 14/01/2021 17:47

Woohoo 🎉🙌
That is the spirit, keep it up!

puffinkoala · 14/01/2021 17:54

@WiseOwlRelaxing

I would stick to walking. I was out running after my second child when two arseholes whose ag3s combined might have been about rhe same as my age. They had made a crass comment about my chest, and the weird way i was running. It did hurt. I thought about it with hurt and RAGE for ages afterwards. So im going to advise protecting yrslf and walking
Yeah absolutely - let stupid ignorant men decide your life for you.
puffinkoala · 14/01/2021 17:54

The hypocrisy of some people is amazing, they are the people who judge others for being overweight and then when the overweight person goes exercising they judge them again Yes this!

Murmurur · 14/01/2021 22:24

Well done!!

I had that problem in the first few weeks but it was all ok after about week 4 when I switched to Jo and got an armband thingy to carry my phone in. Sanjeev doesn't work properly on my phone, which is a shame. I miss him! But Jo is also ace.

TheABC · 14/01/2021 22:29

Congratulations on your run! You've inspired me now; I am going to do an early-morning session tomorrow.

WiseOwlRelaxing · 14/01/2021 23:40

@puffinkoala i see what you're saying but when you're feeling a bit vulnerable as op suggests, it's wise not to square up for situations that'd knock yourself esteem massively. When you feel better about your self it's easier to put yourself out there.
Women shouldnt have to curtail their activities because of men's sexism obviously but i wouldnt want a friend to end up hurt for a principle.

Dee1975 · 15/01/2021 09:15

Whilst I have voted yabu but I do also understand how you feel. I have always felt better running at night so no one can see me. I’m about to start c25k again with my children. And feel nervous doing it in the day. However we are both BU. No one cares. In fact when I see someone overweight exercising I always think ‘good for you’.
I still worry though .... 🤦🏼‍♀️

Eckhart · 15/01/2021 10:02

I'm a regular runner. Not overweight, but over the years I've had a few calls of 'Run Forrest, run!!' or 'Is that as fast as you can go?!'

I give them a wave and a big smile. I don't give a fuck what they think of me. If they have malevolent intent, a smile totally takes the wind out of their sails. But usually they don't - they just think they're funny and are looking for you to engage. The smile covers everything.

Also 'Feel free to join me if you think you can do better!' is a good one. They won't. And if they did, they'd be knackered by the next lamppost, because runners don't take the piss out of runners.

Cavagirl · 15/01/2021 10:06

@Trulyatraditionalman come join us over on the C25k encouragement thread !

Original poster
Trulyatraditionalman · 15/01/2021 10:07

@Cavagirl Ooooh! I will. Thank you! 😁

OP posts:
fluffyugg · 15/01/2021 10:10

I haven't read the replies but I'm sure I'll be saying what many others have... whenever I see anyone out running - regardless of shape or size I always think either 'good for them' or 'ahh, I should be doing that' I would never think anything negative about people exercising. I've just been for a run in the freezing cold but beautiful sunshine, I am overweight but right now I feel great and strong having been out. Do it! Is there anywhere secluded you can start...forest trails or quiet roads to build your confidence?