To feel too fat to run in daylight 😔

[Trulyatraditionalman]

Hi all. I'm 31 and on the wrong side of 15st, and am currently doing Couch to 5k whilst trying to make healthier choices in general. I just can't shake the idea that everyone is staring at me when I'm out and about, so I only go on runs in the dark! I'm absolutely terrified of being heckled (I was bullied for my weight at school). The problem is that I also feel unsafe out running in the dark, so it's a catch-22!

For someone very overweight, I actually feel like I have relatively good fitness levels and don't get puffed out on my runs until the very end. I absolutely love running and wish I didn't feel so self conscious.

Am I being totally unreasonable to feel like this?

YABU - People don't give two figs what size you are when you're running, just crack on whatever time of day
YANBU - It's understandable/I've had experience feeling the same way.

Feel free to give me a stern talking to!

Absolutely do your running during the day. Honestly, I felt the same in case people laughed at my technique, my bum and belly wobbling, but I have not experienced that at all, I am too in the zone with ear buds in anyway! Like a pp said, you will be improving your health, they will still be rude arseholes, so you're the winner! Please do it, the feeling of accomplishment is amazing! Good luck

Whenever I see somebody out jogging for weight loss I think "bloody well done!". Go for it and please don't worry

I voted YANBU because I've felt the same as you, and have actually had a drunk and bitter man shout discouraging things at me - but you definitely shouldn't let those feelings get in the way.

It's YOUR body, YOUR health, YOUR goals - other people's opinions/bitterness/gobbiness can f right off, you're not doing it for them. Keep smashing it!

Headphones and sunglasses. Honestly also no one gives a shit. And if you do get heckled, what kind of life do you think that particular bed wetter is living?

Go for it and enjoy it. I did a lot of running a few years ago and I’m not small! I went from not being able to run to the end of my driveway, to running a 1/2 marathon in about 9 months. It’s an incredible sense of achievement like no other. I was tanned toned and fit as fuck! Don’t let the worries out you off.

I did vote yabu, but aside from the fact that I have shit knees due to flat feet and therefore would not run anyway, I would also shy away.

However due to said shit knees I bought a cross trainer last year and do 45mins (18k) every morning, gradually increasing resistance. I can heartily recommend a cross trainer. I sweat like a beast and can def feel the burn, and I appreciate the privacy of my home to do it in.

OP i just wanted to add that I’m an overweight runner (slow and steady but enthusiastic). I’ve people yell things at me; I don’t know what as I have headphones in. I’ve had men make gestures (embarrassingly once I thought they were waving so I waved back ). Someone once pretended to throw something at me from a car and I ducked and then felt stupid cos it was pretend. But I still run. It does make me feel momentarily awkward and ashamed but I will not give up something I enjoy for them.
If anyone shouts at you please think of this thread and hundreds of women cheering you on.

YABU because most people are too engrossed in their own lives to really notice you, and most that do will think, "Good for her! I must get more exercise"

Anyone who would judge you unlikely is a tosspot who can be ignored.

And well done you!

Just do it. I'm also a few stone overweight and felt self conscious when I started but no one pays attention. You're overweight, but hardly huge. I wouldn't turn a blind eye to a 15 stone woman trying to get fit and live a healthier lifestyle.

I feel the same. Similar age and weight to you too.

Luckily I live on a quiet road, but I do go early as then at least it's done for the day while it's quieter and I can't put it off later.

Sounds like you're a much better runner than me. I run/walk and feel like I need to switch between the two when no one is looking as I don't want to be the fat one who only runs for 30 seconds etc.

Totally my issue from years of my dad snorting at fat people. Twat. No ones actually said anything to me other that smiled and "morning" when I've been out.

When I see someone running who's a little bigger I feel shame AT MYSELF!! I'm the one who does nothing..... (busy with 3 kids, can't even.....)

YANBU. I've voluntarily (i.e. excluding being forced to at school) been running once in my life, on that one occasion I had abuse shouted at me twice ("fat bitch" and "lard arse mare"). I'd even gone out extra early, about 6am, just to reduce the risk of it happening.

Never again!

@contrmary
What awful specimens of humanity to call you those names. It can really dent your confidence, but I can almost guarantee that the people who would make remarks like that do not run themselves. I'd be surprised if they do any exercise at all - because the majority of those who run/exercise, know the sheer amount of effort it takes to get out there and would be inwardly wishing you well.

Please don't let a couple of nasty comments put you off. Stick some headphones on and practice a neutral facial expression and enjoy getting fitter than those tossers will ever be.

Oh, yeah, I felt like that for years. Then I started running and cared only about getting oxygen in. No time to worry about what random strangers may or may not think if you're concentrating on breathing!. And I realised that when I see someone else running, whatever their shape, size, age, sex, speed, etc, the only thing I ever think is "good for you".

People may look at you - people look at lots of stuff, but I doubt they are judging you (and who cares if they are?!). When I see someone jogging, particularly if they’re large, it does catch my attention but that is because it reminds me that I haven’t been jogging for ages and am getting unhealtier every day. I’m not judging their size, I’m feeling guilty and also impressed that they’re motivated.

Sounds to me that you, like me, are looking for excuses to stay on the sofa. Go jog.

Congratulations on running! One of the best bits about it is the freedom to run away from heckling twats.

If I saw you out running you would get a thumbs up and a smile from me. Making fun of someone getting fit is like making fun of a student entering university. It's about self-improvement, not body-shaming.

FWIW, I am a size 10 "average" shape (whatever that means!) and still get the odd comment when running. I shrug and move on - their issues stay with them.

When you finish the C25K and have the full-blown running bug, I recommend trying the Nike Running Club app. The guided runs will up your game and listening to the coach will stop you from feeling self-couscious or alone.

I think you should put yourself first over the opinions of others. Men probably will beep their horns or make a comment, but overall you can’t let those idiots put you off doing something so beneficial for you. They do that to every woman, regardless of her size or whether she’s running or not, it’s just trashy men being trash and you can’t let these losers dictate your life.

Whenever a man does that to me I just assume they’re greeting a mate so just ignore them. I don’t even flinch now. No reaction is the best way to handle them or anyone that’s being funny with you.

@Trulyatraditionalman

Hi all. I'm 31 and on the wrong side of 15st, and am currently doing Couch to 5k whilst trying to make healthier choices in general. I just can't shake the idea that everyone is staring at me when I'm out and about, so I only go on runs in the dark! I'm absolutely terrified of being heckled (I was bullied for my weight at school). The problem is that I also feel unsafe out running in the dark, so it's a catch-22!

For someone very overweight, I actually feel like I have relatively good fitness levels and don't get puffed out on my runs until the very end. I absolutely love running and wish I didn't feel so self conscious.

Am I being totally unreasonable to feel like this?

YABU - People don't give two figs what size you are when you're running, just crack on whatever time of day
YANBU - It's understandable/I've had experience feeling the same way.

Feel free to give me a stern talking to!

Hi,

Haven’t read the full thread but I didn’t want to leave without commenting about how brave you are for wanting to make a change. Whenever i see anyone out exercising (both underweight and overweight) all I think is how much respect I have for them considering I’m so lazy and I could never be bothered to go out in the rain!💖👍🏻

Please don't my embarrassed and get out there.

I not at my fittest but I feel embarrassed about the colour my face goes - a kind colleague remarked - was it worth it - you look like you are having a heart attack but I won't stop running.

My point badly made is we all have things we might feel embarrassed about

@welshladywhois40, do you maybe have rosacea? I have this and have to warn fitness instructors that I go quite red sometimes, but I am fine unless I am passed out on the floor or saying "I am not fine" . Although, when I said that to my spin teacher he said I don't actually go any redder than anyone else, so maybe I'm imagining it.

Don,t worry about naysayers. Just do it. It,s a lot safer then running in the dark. Is their anyone who can run with you if you feal self consciouse. Or aa route which you feel more comfortable running. ?

I'm in the camp of admiring anyone who runs. Any shape or size. Please don't hide or skulk in the shadows; enjoy it. You're doing something amazing

I sympathise - I am barely leaving the house at the moment as I think people will look at me and think that I am fat. I also cannot do a video call with the camera on. It's really tough so well done you for going out!

Now is the time. There are A LOT of new runners out there. Be one of them. If they can cope, why can't you? I don't mean to be bolshy, it's a genuine question. You've got that negative ego thing going on. Why do you think that you're so special that people will choose you to heckle?

In the nicest possible way, you'll be one in a thousand faces. Nobody gives a crap.

And no, you're not unreasonable to feel the way you feel. No feeling is unreasonable. Only responses to feelings are unreasonable. And your response to this feeling isn't getting you what you want, so I'd class your response to your feeling as unreasonable to yourself.

Any hecklers (not that you're likely to encounter any) won't be running, so you're already doing better than them.

YABU! Go for it!

Omg....
Wouldn't have done this if it wasn't for this thread. Thank you everyone for knocking some sense into me!

I'm absolutely soaked, and I made a right bloody mess walking through the door but I DID IT!!!!