To feel too fat to run in daylight 😔

[Trulyatraditionalman]

Hi all. I'm 31 and on the wrong side of 15st, and am currently doing Couch to 5k whilst trying to make healthier choices in general. I just can't shake the idea that everyone is staring at me when I'm out and about, so I only go on runs in the dark! I'm absolutely terrified of being heckled (I was bullied for my weight at school). The problem is that I also feel unsafe out running in the dark, so it's a catch-22!

For someone very overweight, I actually feel like I have relatively good fitness levels and don't get puffed out on my runs until the very end. I absolutely love running and wish I didn't feel so self conscious.

Am I being totally unreasonable to feel like this?

YABU - People don't give two figs what size you are when you're running, just crack on whatever time of day
YANBU - It's understandable/I've had experience feeling the same way.

Feel free to give me a stern talking to!

Honestly I don’t think anyone will pay any attention. With gyms closed and people trying to get fitter because of Covid there’s loads more people out jogging around where I live who clearly aren’t seasoned runners (I’m one of them! 😂). I get where you are coming from though and I personally prefer to run in the park rather than on roads because it’s quieter and less people to judge me 😂 don’t let it put you off!!

I had that too. I started running at 22 stone. Now 17 stone and doing long walks instead to protect my knees because of an unrelated subsequent injury but keen to get back to it. I felt very self conscious but I invested in some decent wireless headphones, looked straight ahead and chose times when feral teenagers were unlikely to be watching as they seem to be the main offenders (not that I actually got any abuse from anyone so there you go).

I’m nearly 18st and just started the couch to 5k. Honestly just get out there and do it! I also used to get heckled during PE when I was a teenager. I think if someone heckled me now I’m far more confident to say something back to them! If they are commenting on me being fat and I’m out here trying to better myself... it just makes them sound like idiots. Enjoy your run :)

Just go for it.
I was 14 stone and only 5'6 tall.
My wife said to get slimmer fitter by diet/home gym so as not to "look daft".
But I just pulled my trainers on and went running at very opportunity. It was very hard but I kept going.
Park Run is very good. Again there will always be some larger/heavier/slower, but that's king of the point at PR. No one judges. Unfortunately it's suspended now for covid.
In 18 months I got time down from 36 minutes to 22 minutes and lost 3 to 4 stone. So worth it in the end. And the difference is I feel much better about myself.

Can i suggest you join the HealthUnlocked forum (app), which is attached to couch to 5K. Lots of people feel that same way you do (i certainly did!) and the advice on there is that realistically most people are not looking at you but if they are they are probably wishing they could do it! I totally understand about running in the dark being unsafe for women - i find it really bloody annoying that i can't run in places that my adult son can in the evenings and have to stick to well lit housing areas and still feel unsafe. Give the app a go - lovely people with great advice!

YANBU to feel that way as some people can be really really awful about overweight people but just remember anyone who would mock you in some way for working to make yourself fitter and healthier is a pretty awful person and really not worth listening to. Most people really don’t think like that. Would you think like that about someone who was overweight running or who was making an attempt to improve themselves in some other way (like adults learning to read or redoing basic maths because they never got a school qualification or similar)? With the fear of heckling would it help you to have something in mind to say if anyone were to be rude to you? I bet someone here could come up with a few brilliantly cutting replies you could keep in mind in case they were needed

People who think anything other than "good for you" are be ignored anyway. Early morning is the best, as at that time there are only the running die hards and people on early shifts.

Also. 99% of people just admire that you're putting the effort in. I have been heckled . Weird it's mostly middle aged/40+ men?????
But wait till the first whistle from a car of women! What a day that was!

I once had a 12 year old ride past on his bike and said" speed up fat C@nt."

@DenisetheMenace

I feel nothing but admiration when I see overweight people working to improve their health, especially now.

Exactly this. Go for it and good for you x

I voted YABU because you should be able to to run at whatever time of day, whatever size you are. However I am hypocrite because I am v overweight and the shame and embarrassment prevents me from publicly exercising. It shouldn't but it does.

I'm sure it feels awkward like pp's anyone I see running gets admiration and a mental fair play.
A social running club is great if there isn't one in your area you could start smaller group.

Where I used to live there was a neighbour who was very overweight and very unfit, but he started running. Very, very slowly at first, but gradually he improved. It was amazing to watch his weight loss and his fitness improve, and we used to cheer him on (silently of course, we didn't want him to think we were weirdos!).

When we moved he was still running, and I never knew his name or even exactly where he lived, but I really admired him. I'm pretty sure all decent people would only wish you well, and the others don't count.

Just do it! When I see people out running all I feel is guilty that I don't do it. Total respect for you getting healthy. Go and enjoy your run!

stick your headphones on and go.....I've never been heckled and am about the same weight . If I've been heckled then my running music and noise cancelling headphones have blocked it out, in any case I don't care....I'm lapping the fuckers who might be heckling.

Go for it - everyone has to start somewhere. I felt very self conscious when I joined my gym but there will always be someone bigger than you and in reality everyone is just paying attention to their own exercise.

Good luck!

People absolutely do not care what shape you are and if they think anything it'll be "good on you".

I get how you feel, when I first started running I went at quiet times and avoided weekends. I wasn't overweight but was slow with minimal fitness and thought all the super-fit runners would notice in some way.

Now I'm one of those runners and I honestly couldn't notice let alone judge anyone else, mostly because I'm focused on my own run, and when I do see a runner who's obviously a beginner I just feel good for them.

I am a fat runner! I see women my sort of size on my route all the time and men who must weigh 20 odd stone. I don't think anything of it and I haven't felt self conscious at all.

Watch your knees obviously, as carrying extra weight (like I do) means we need to be careful. But C25K is a good way to do that I think. The strict rest days and easing in helps build strength in your legs, which you probably still have a bit of, from your previous running. It's important to take the rest days and stick to the C25K plan imo even if you're tempted to do a bit more.

When you are out running, try to remember that you are doing better than everyone else sat on the sofa. That's what I think when I see someone exercising, whatever weight they are.

I feel sad that a quarter of voters feel this way!!! Honestly no one gives a shit. And the kind of asshole to shout abuse at you when you run would have probably shouted abuse at you when you wander down the shop. Because they’re an asshole. Nothing to do with you!!!

I am a skinny runner and I frequently get overtaken by people much larger than me, so I know better than to judge😂😂😂

I started running well jogging, ok shuffling faster than a walk at 18.9 stone! I’m now 13.2! I didn’t care then and still don’t, lots of other runners always smiled, some would say keep going you’re doing well I obviously looked like I was dying or something haha!

You’re out there you’re doing it! You go girl!

Just do it! If you are so self conscious, try and do it early morning. I was in the same boat with the gym, then I realised no one cares! And even if they did, what would you think of a person who was making fun of someone trying to get healthier? You’d think they were the piece of shit right? So ‘if’ someone does stare then screw them for lacking basic human decency!

I totally admire you. That's the only thing I would think, I can promise you.