To feel too fat to run in daylight 😔

[Trulyatraditionalman]

Hi all. I'm 31 and on the wrong side of 15st, and am currently doing Couch to 5k whilst trying to make healthier choices in general. I just can't shake the idea that everyone is staring at me when I'm out and about, so I only go on runs in the dark! I'm absolutely terrified of being heckled (I was bullied for my weight at school). The problem is that I also feel unsafe out running in the dark, so it's a catch-22!

For someone very overweight, I actually feel like I have relatively good fitness levels and don't get puffed out on my runs until the very end. I absolutely love running and wish I didn't feel so self conscious.

Am I being totally unreasonable to feel like this?

YABU - People don't give two figs what size you are when you're running, just crack on whatever time of day
YANBU - It's understandable/I've had experience feeling the same way.

Feel free to give me a stern talking to!

OP, you sound like a good runner and someone who is naturally athletic, just go for it, if I see you when I'm out running I'll give you a smile and a double thumbs up 😊👍👍

I agree that anyone who heckles runners deserves to have expletives hurled at them
BUT ....there are lots of short fused nut jobs around at the moment👀it's probably better to completely ignore them, act as if they don't exist😶

@Yohoheaveho Thanks - wave if you're ever in Canterbury!

Hey babes, don't be ashamed! It's quite normal to feel that way, but I feel like you should just do it!! You shouldn't care about what people think about you as you're getting more fit and healthier for YOURSELF. xx Miko

@Remmy123

Every runner I see no matter what size I think 'good for them' while I sit on my arse eating rubbish 😬

This. Particularly if it's an overweight runner - I'm judging me and not you.

Well done for getting started. Don't let your self confidence wreck it for you.

@Yohoheaveho

I agree that anyone who heckles runners deserves to have expletives hurled at them BUT ....there are lots of short fused nut jobs around at the moment👀it's probably better to completely ignore them, act as if they don't exist😶

That's one of the benefits of being a runner though, you can be around the next corner while the fat bastard keels over trying to keep up.

Obviously wasn't entirely being serious, but let's not let the arseholes stop people getting out.

@urAwizharry

I will definitely do a gait analysis when out of lockdown!

Some exercises sound good.

I have been running on and off for 15 years, it was great for loosing the baby weight. The only time I had someone shout something rude at me was when I was still on the large side and I was also pushing a buggy at the time, a lovely male runner coming the other way just told me to ignore the twat and he couldn't do what I was doing. Basically there are some really rude people in life, not many but sadly they do exist, just remember that the good people who are full of encouragement outnumber them by miles.

I'd definitely just go for it. I can honestly say that I don't even process what people look like when they run past me, just notice that they're running.

I run regularly although been slacking a lot recently because of the weather and really wouldn't think anything of it if you ran past other than "good on you" and "I'm envious, really need to get myself in gear". Where I run, runners, walkers, dog walkers etc all tend to give each other a nod hello then head on their way without a glance.

I can't explain how much running helps my mental health, as well as physical health and weight maintenance. I feel amazing for doing it (once it's done, going out can be a struggle) and it's a great way to clear your head. I went out in the dark and rain the other night after a rubbish day and it felt amazing just to get out there. I couldn't tell you how many people went by in their cars or on foot, it just felt like me all alone in the world.

Once you've done it a few times you won't even think about it.

[quote Trulyatraditionalman]@urAwizharry

I will definitely do a gait analysis when out of lockdown!

Some exercises sound good. [/quote]
You can get a rough idea by doing the footprint test - basically determining how badly (or not) your arches collapse and choosing a pair along those lines.

www.sportsshoes.com/support/running_articles/?kw=&cpn=1718907823&gclid=Cj0KCQiA9P__BRC0ARIsAEZ6irgeEUhm_7_8Tfc2U1wUi9UTGOH5gw1i94fqSj6lVLoE4cLYfywEF4kaArFvEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

I overpronate really badly and suffered from really bad ankle pain until I started using stability shoes

Let's not that let the arseholes stop people
You're right, but I speak as someone whos nearly got into fights with people who gave me lip when I was out running, in hindsight it is better to de-escalate situations imo

Keep on running! 🏃‍♀️

I would never think anything of a larger person running (or exercising) except maybe, good for them! But that does sound patronising - sorry!

I think you'd be daft to stop, especially now when there are so many people out walking, cycling and running of all shapes and sizes as they're just desperate to get out of the house!

Unless you are under 3ft tall, 15 stone+ is no disaster. In normal times, I used to swim at size 16-18. I didn't relish appearing in public in my swimming costume ... but it was necessary and brief (the time, not the swimming costume). I just did it. I'm size 14 now. I cringe inwardly quite a bit less-- but I FEEL SO FIT AND HEALTHY AND STRONG!!!!!! Run when it suits you. Run in the day. I salute anyone who runs. I salute their motivation, their determination, their commitment, their fitness. I salute you!

Another one saying absolutely do it! Anyone that sees you is either
a) Running, and therefore will be happy to see another runner starting to join the ranks
b) not running, so can fuck off if they want to judge you
c) like me, not running, and wish I had the bloody discipline to start C25k again

I always think 'good for them' when I see people out exercising.

I think most people, especially women, get heckled when they run every once in a while. Put your headphones on and feel sorry for those pathetic losers as you jog past.

Running is HARD
Even very slow running is HARD
only God can judge you when you're running and you know that she'll be cheering you on 😊

Just run when you want to, sod everyone else! I was a healthy BMI when I started running (just!) but heavier than I wanted to be, and I struggled so much through the first weeks of c25k. And I never got heckles then. Now that I can actually run, I get loads of heckles! I just stick two fingers up.... So don’t take the heckles seriously, even if they comment on your weight it’s not about that - it’s about their inadequacy as humans!

Whenever I see anyone running I always want to give them a mini cheer, but I don’t because that might be weird and off putting...but know that there’s loads of us around, silently willing you on.

And I definitely encourage the idea of joining a running club- mine is so supportive, we break into three general groups “the runners”, “the walkers” and “the people who talk too much”. Mine is a ladies club, which is brilliant.

I started running last year and always aspired to be like the really fit runners you see running around, being a larger girl I thought people are looking and staring, however found people really friendly. All the runners smile at you or say hello. Remember who you’re doing this for, most people will be admiring what you’re doing. I find early mornings before work the best time to run

I didn't vote because I agree with both points!
I am a dog walker and see loads of runners of all ages, sizes etc.
I'm more likely to notice the teenagers now as when I was that age running would have got you an unmerciful slagging so I think good for them!
I don't assume heavier runners are only starting out because I've known a few people who run marathons at size 14-16.

I'd recommend safety first, where I live now running in the dark would be fine.
Where I used to live i wouldn't walk to the shop past 7pm in the winter and wouldn't dream of going to a park alone even in daylight.
Sunrise is a lovely time to be outside, I take the dog then if I can go to bed early enough. I would highly recommend then.
Fair play to you OP, I have great admiration for people who do things rather than just thinking about it..

YANBU to feel self conscious and upset - I am the same size as you and feel similarly.

But YABU to put you off! I did couch to 5k a few years ago and not a single person commented, you need to put yourself out there and prove yourself wrong.

I didn't hit either button because I think your fears are probably unfounded but that doesn't mean you don't feel the fear! Due to traumatic incidents in my childhood I feel very afraid running when other people are around and the fear makes my heart rate increase which makes it hard to run. So I don't run when other people are around. I think your early morning run plan is a good idea. Maybe the more you go running the more confident you will feel, and then you can branch out?

I don't think you're being unreasonable, it's understandable with what you've been through BUT if I ever see people out running I think "gosh I should do more of that! Check out their motivation". On the odd occasion I've noticed someone is overweight and exercising it's made me feel really proud for them that they're getting out there and smashing it for themselves (in addition to previous statement about me thinking I need to do more)! I would say, you amazing human being for being active and making healthier choices for yourself! Check you out superwoman!

I don’t think it’s helpful to pretend there aren’t arseholes out there who might comment. The majority of people are decent and kind but there are definitely a few twats wherever you go.

Should it put you off though? No. I can understand why it might though and all you can do is try to push through it until you are at a place where you genuinely feel confident. Fake it till you make it!

OP your post made me feel sad and I had to come and comment. I'm a runner, have been all my life - I am slim so don't have the same experience as you but can understand self-consciousness - I used to not run in daylight because of how red I go (genuine beetroot and I POUR sweat even though I'm physically fit, I'm very blonde). I'm over it now as I'm a bit older and am not so bothered...

Genuinely, the only thought I have if I see someone who's exercising outside and is a bit bigger and putting in a bit of effort (or someone like me who's panting like a nut job or sweating buckets) is 'awesome, they're gonna feel great, good on them'. Because the endorphins I get from running make me feel good and I like it when other people are going to have that too.

I NEVER look at other runner's bodies, ever, I'm mostly too concerned about getting myself up a hill without dying, and I NEVER think ANYTHING negative whatsoever about somebody who's putting in the effort to get themselves healthier!!

I started running a couple of years ago. I still do intermittent running ie run a minute walk a minute, but I am getting better. I felt like you do when I started but I think I am over it now, I ran down the main road yesterday!! The first few months I only ran in the woods where it is quiet, I never ran on the road. Do you have some woods or park nearby, you could walk there as your warm up then run. Also I got my self proper running clothes, so I look like a runner, and even though I felt they were silly it stopped people staring because now they know I am running for exercise and not because I’m being chased by a bear or something :-)