teacher commenting on my dd eyebrows

[Boxerdogmum]

im a bit stuck. im bringing up dd 11 years old to make her own choices she is hitting puberty and has chosen to just be at one with her own body hair. armpit hair and so on and i'm so proud of her. much more self confidence than i ever had at her age. recently she told me that one of her female teachers stopped at her desk looked at her and said you might want to just lick your finger and sort out your eyebrow hair there. shes not exactly frida kahlo but it made her feel very self conscious. AIBU to hunt this teacher down and hold her to account?

Completely unprofessional and inappropriate. She shouldn't be expensing an opinion on the appearance of any students unless it's in regard to uniform/school rules etc.

'Hunt her down' good god clam down! This teacher doesn't need a lynching but yes speak to them if you must.
You say your daughter has loads of confidence so is she affected by this comment?
It wasn't right but get a little perspective

Maybe she thought she was doing your dd a favour. I’m sure the teacher would have told your dd if she had food on her face.
I agree that the teacher shouldn’t have said anything but I’m sure it wasn’t malicious

Having natural eyebrows is hardly comparable to having food on your face.

hunt this teacher down and hold her to account

thank you i'm just stunned about it so i started doubting myself. i'll email the school.

Hunt her down??? 😂😂😂

@SquirtleSquad 😂😂 brilliant!!!

You absolutely should hunt her down and hold her account.Totally normal reaction there.

Oooh a froth thread with deliberately inflammatory wording. Whatever next? 😂😂

My English teacher once pointed out that I had missed the back when I dyed my hair. I was mortified and my friends 30 years later still talk about how mean they thought she was (bless them). To be honest I think singling out pupils about their appearance in front of a whole class is bullying. I have no kids and don't work in a school so don't have a solution but I do empathise with your daughter.

I really wouldn’t contact the school about this. She suggested your daughter tidy herself up. She didn’t say she should pluck or dye her eyebrows.

Ffs just leave it. She probably did her a favour, it’s a little like having lipstick on your teeth or a bogey. Are DCsnot allowed to spoken to about anything in the risk they’re offended or made to feel self conscious. It’s a life lesson.

God I'd be furious, so sexist, a boy would never have his eyebrows commented on. My dd is the same, after initially being self conscious she now chooses to just occasionally shave her legs but leave her armpits and eyebrows, and I'm really proud. It gives ammunition to other students too. Ironic what the teacher said really given the current microblading trend of eyebrows looking like they've been combed upwards with hair gel.

How recent was this?

@prawncocktailpringles

My English teacher once pointed out that I had missed the back when I dyed my hair. I was mortified and my friends 30 years later still talk about how mean they thought she was (bless them). To be honest I think singling out pupils about their appearance in front of a whole class is bullying. I have no kids and don't work in a school so don't have a solution but I do empathise with your daughter.

Were you not really grateful that your teacher let you know so you weren't walking around with a crap dye job anymore?

She may also have been giving some advice to avoid your dd being picked on - the smoothing of an eyebrow would have no impact on "extra" hairs, so you'd have to assume some of the hair was going in a random direction?
I sometimes wonder if I should mention very visible foundation lines you sometimes see - would be easily fixed with a tissue - but worry that's seen as a criticism. Or, lipstick on your teeth. It really does depend what exactly was going on with those brows!

i will 'clam' down lol. yes i don't think it was malicious just stupid but i've personally never told someone ever to sort their eyebrows out or anything out to that matter let alone an adult to a child. i guess i don't need to hunt her down she has an email address im feeling punchy but i will hold her to account with the perspective of remaining professional and not commenting on my daughters appearance.

Maybe the teacher had big bushy messy eyebrows as a teenager, and nobody told her it looked awful - so she was paying it forward- and trying to help your daughter. (as in, a friendly kind advice, before the bullies got started on her).

@Boxerdogmum

thank you i'm just stunned about it so i started doubting myself. i'll email the school.

Stunned??

Email the school??

Getting a bloody grip would be a better idea

FFS

I maybe would have been had she not done it in front of 30 people.

Maybe she thought she was helping your daughter as her eyebrows were different (as in to each other)?

The fashion at the moment is to brush eyebrows and have them au natural and spread out - they can look messy when the girls do them like this.

Teacher wouldn't know your daughter is at one with her body hair.

Or the teacher may have been out of order.

recently she told me that one of her female teachers stopped at her desk looked at her and said you might want to just lick your finger and sort out your eyebrow hair there.

Why is she at school?

When I read the title, I assumed this was going to be about a dd blatantly challenging school uniform rules (about makeup etc) and would have backed the teacher.

In this case, the teacher was 100% out of order, and I would want to follow it up.
Not sure "hunting down and holding to account" is the best way forward, but I certainly think she has been incredibly unprofessional and that needs to be brought to her attention.

When my dc were at secondary, the Head of Year would probably have been the person to speak to.