Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

teacher commenting on my dd eyebrows

280 replies

Boxerdogmum · 11/01/2021 00:08

im a bit stuck. im bringing up dd 11 years old to make her own choices she is hitting puberty and has chosen to just be at one with her own body hair. armpit hair and so on and i'm so proud of her. much more self confidence than i ever had at her age. recently she told me that one of her female teachers stopped at her desk looked at her and said you might want to just lick your finger and sort out your eyebrow hair there. shes not exactly frida kahlo but it made her feel very self conscious. AIBU to hunt this teacher down and hold her to account?

OP posts:
knockeduplockeddown · 11/01/2021 00:29

@Boxerdogmum can I suggest that you contact the teacher directly rather than email the school? You're more likely to be able to have a constructive dialogue that way I'd say. For what it's worth, I would easily say to one of my friends, male or female, if their hair was sticking up / if their eyebrow had become a bit ruffled. I wouldn't think of it as saying to them "you need to be better groomed", but rather that bits of us can get out of place as the day goes on 😂 Admittedly I wouldn't make a comment like that to a student, and I do think it's worth raising with her if you feel it's important, but keep in mind that she may well have just thought "oh, she's rubbed her eyebrow and now a bit of it is sticking up where it usually isn't, I'll let her know so she can fix it".

ItsIgginningtolookalotlikeXmas · 11/01/2021 00:30

If by recently you mean this week, I would give the teacher a break I think they have enough to worry about

Sinful8 · 11/01/2021 00:31

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ktp100 · 11/01/2021 00:31

As a teacher I can say 100% you need to speak to the teacher about it and raise it with her superiors.

She has massively overstepped there and she 100% knows it (or she should).

sst1234 · 11/01/2021 00:31

“I don’t know who you are, and I don’t know what you want”....but, on a serious note the teacher shouldn’t have said, if this is the full story.

Nikhedonia · 11/01/2021 00:32

"Hunt her down"

Hmm

You know where she works so shouldn't require a hunt.

sst1234 · 11/01/2021 00:33

@yankeedoodledandee

recently she told me that one of her female teachers stopped at her desk looked at her and said you might want to just lick your finger and sort out your eyebrow hair there.

Why is she at school?

Oh dear, the prize for the first Covid comment shoehorn into the thread goes to...
Original poster
Boxerdogmum · 11/01/2021 00:33

please dont call my daughter a snowflake. shes a kid that was sat in school quietly doing her work when an adult randomly stopped and told her she thought her eyebrows were wrong. have a word with yourself.i think my snowflake ass here is done goodnight xx

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/01/2021 00:33

If she felt 'very self conscious' about someone telling her she might want to smooth her hair, and if you feel such 'pride' in such a young child 'being at one' with her hair, perhaps you need to think again.

Try to gently find out if she's trying to fit into some sort of 'ideal' that's more to do with you and your 'pride' than you might realise.

My mum didn't give a shit about body hair (except for plucking her chin when she hit menopause) so therefore she didn't give a shit about what me and my sisters chose to do with ours.

Her feeling 'pride' about our choices would've been too weird to contemplate.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/01/2021 00:33

@yankeedoodledandee Confused loads of kids are at school.

If she did it infront of other children, I wouldn't be happy. If she said it discretely out of ear shot of other people then I wouldn't mind too much.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 11/01/2021 00:37

Well it depends. Did she loudly announce "gosh, your eyebrows are huge! Might want to try grooming" or did she quietly suggest something that she may have genuinely thought your DD might want to know? I've quietly and kindly advised girls (or indeed boys!) about foundation blending food in teeth or mascara flakes on their cheeks before. I don't think that's humiliation. Its awful looking in the mirror, seeing something there and then counting how many people noticed and didn't say anything.

yankeedoodledandee · 11/01/2021 00:37

Sorry, I think I must have got OP mixed up with someone else.

prawncocktailpringles · 11/01/2021 00:38

I think some posters have forgotten what it feels like to be a teenager.

MazDazzle · 11/01/2021 00:39

The teacher is out of order.

What was she thinking? Having stray eyebrow hair is hardly the same as having your skirt tucked into your knickers or trailing loo roll on your shoe.

I can’t believe she commented on it! Shock

FortunesFave · 11/01/2021 00:42

It's not like she said "Ooh better book a wax!"

It's like saying "Your tag's sticking out" surely?

WorraLiberty · 11/01/2021 00:44

@prawncocktailpringles

I think some posters have forgotten what it feels like to be a teenager.
This is an 11 year old little girl

She's either in top primary or bottom senior school

How will the OP cope if her pride takes a dent and her daughter chooses to do something else with her hair?

I can't believe a teacher pointing out they might want to smooth a few hairs, is being made into such a 'thing' by either of them and the mum wanting to 'hunt the teacher down and hold her to account'?

I'm honestly not sure whether to laugh or cry 🤷‍♀️

81Byerley · 11/01/2021 00:44

I can't believe you're even thinking about making a complaint. Really???

PartoftheProbl3m · 11/01/2021 00:45

Yeah. Do email the school
About eyebrows.
During a pandemic.

PoleToPole · 11/01/2021 00:46

When I was growing up my parents used to say that it was the height of ill manners to pass comment on someone`s appearance, other than to compliment them at appropriate times. There was quite a lot of things on the list of the height of ill manners actually, but that one featured frequently.

So no, I dont think you would be unreasonable to raise it, but with the teacher directly. Its your DDs choice if she does want Frida Khalo eyebrows. Her body, her choice.

Deadringer · 11/01/2021 00:46

Fucking teachers, making comments, not being perfect all the time, long holidays, fuckers. Hunt that fucker down.

PartoftheProbl3m · 11/01/2021 00:47

Teachers will laugh at you. Reply politely. Think you’re a dick.

Really get some sense of proportion

WorraLiberty · 11/01/2021 00:47

@81Byerley

I can't believe you're even thinking about making a complaint. Really???
I know

I must admit I got irritated a good few months ago (probably pre-covid) with all the 'flowers for teachers' being posted on threads where anyone even mildly criticised a school teacher.

But now I'm thinking I was too harsh. FFS they just can't do right for doing wrong and so many parents would be doing their kids a favour if they gave them the gift of resilience rather than the 'gift' of parental projection.

PoleToPole · 11/01/2021 00:48

Kahlo, sorry autocorrect is at it again.

PartoftheProbl3m · 11/01/2021 00:48

You weren’t there. Didn’t see if a bit of her brow was brushed down. The tone it was said in. If at all.

ilovesooty · 11/01/2021 00:51

I thought this might be a joke of some kind when I read the language in the opening post but it actually seems to be serious.

Swipe left for the next trending thread