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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbours pissed off - AIBU?

269 replies

Pigtailsandall · 09/01/2021 08:20

Our local authority encourages asymptomatic testing, so before Christmas we ordered home testing kits, expecting to see DH's elderly parents. We got moved to tier 4 so there was no point in doing the test. We did nothing over Christmas, DH did a quick dash to the shops twice, I took our toddler to the playground on the 23rd and we got a few takeaway coffees from the local cafe. Other than that, we went for a daily walk either in the woods or small local park.
On the 27th DH complained headache but he had been up with DC at night who had been teething. Otherwise we were all healthy (and the headache passed during the day).
On New Year's Eve we decided to send off our Covid tests anyway as we had them lying around, and DC was due back in nursery on the 4th and I was due at work on the 3rd. After dropping them off, we went for a walk in the park and met a couple few doors down who have a DC same age. We kept a distance, chatted for about 10 minutes with the kids running around. Our tests came back in the 2nd and to our horror, DH tested positive. I and DC were both negative. We told the neighbours we met (also called the cafe we had visited) and the neighbours got furious with us. Absolutely fuming, they said we were irresponsible for being out after doing a Covid test and DH had been symptomatic (he hadn't). I get that they are stressed about getting Covid but if they are that concerned maybe they shouldn't go out at all as our contact was short and distanced, and I told them that because I was getting a bit fed up - their messages were coming through more and more irritated and frantic (DH was much more diplomatic)
AIBU for being annoyed at the neighbours? I tried to stay diplomatic but I felt they totally overreacted.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
8
Plussizejumpsuit · 09/01/2021 11:03

The reading comprehension on this post is fucking terrible!

MissMarpleDarling · 09/01/2021 11:06

My partner has standard weekly tests due to his job which is fine. YABU though

WhatKatyDidNxt · 09/01/2021 11:07

@ElBandito yep! Handy spreadsheet to have

SadderThanEeyore · 09/01/2021 11:10

Except op said headache was catalyst for doing the test. Therefore had a concern that it was a symptom.

saraclara · 09/01/2021 11:11

It's like none of these posters watch or read the news.

It was very well publicised that some LAs (Liverpool was the first I think) were encouraging people who had NO symptoms, to get tested, so that they could catch some of the asymptomatic cases that were helping spread the virus without anyone knowing. News reports showed people queuing at test centres to help combat the spread of the virus by getting checked even though they were well.
Also NHS workers have to have these tests constantly (three times a week at my daughter's trust). Again, no need to isolate.

THIS is the sort of test that OP and her family had. You do NOT have to isolate when waiting for the results of these tests.

saraclara · 09/01/2021 11:12

@SadderThanEeyore

Except op said headache was catalyst for doing the test. Therefore had a concern that it was a symptom.
No she didn't. Read the OP again. The headache was a week before they took the tests. They took them because they were going back to school/work. Which was very sensible and would help protect others.
saraclara · 09/01/2021 11:13

The headache was a week before they took the tests

Correction. Five days. All the rest applies though

thingsarelookingup · 09/01/2021 11:22

Even in Australia where we have locked down an entire city because of one case of covid with the UK variant you don't have to isolate after asymptomatic testing if you are not a close contact of a known case.

Saz12 · 09/01/2021 11:32

I’m ultra-careful if Covid, as I watch the news, have had a healthy, 22-year-old student of mine die of it, and have vulnerable people in my life.

Even I think your neighbour is over-reacting. Maybe they only heard the “DH has Covid” part and couldn’t take in the rest of the information. But this isn’t OP’s fault.

DahliaMacNamara · 09/01/2021 11:32

And we wonder that so many people have trouble understanding what the rules actually are. Jeez. FWIW, my FIL is slightly panicky that someone he stood and talked to within the last 10 days has since died of Covid. No point in blaming or text-bombing the dead guy, and hopefully the first vaccination FIL had before Christmas means he had some protection, but if there was any transmission opportunity then surely both parties were equally at fault? OP's neighbours need to wind their bloody necks in.
(FIL is now self-isolating, just in case)

unmarkedbythat · 09/01/2021 11:33

People are dim, op, as many replies to your thread illustrate.

Yesreallyreally · 09/01/2021 11:41

@YouJustDoYou what are you on about???!!
Asymptomatic testing is routine testing where you have no symptoms. Why would you self isolate?

Yesreallyreally · 09/01/2021 11:42

@unmarkedbythat I was struggling for the words but you have it bang on.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 09/01/2021 11:43

I can't read this thread any more. It's giving me a headache (the irony), the lack of understanding re asymptomatic testing and the hysteria.

lifeinlimbo2020 · 09/01/2021 11:46

@supersonicginandtonic

I'm absolutely flabbergasted how many stupid people there are around! The asymptomTic tests have been around and in the news for months. are people really this stupid in real life?
Yes. Yes they are 😭😭😭😭
SchrodingersImmigrant · 09/01/2021 11:46

I can see why the world looks the way it does with that level of crap reading comprehension...Hmm. My friend tested numerous times during mass testing and you do not have to self isolate.

Op, did you tell them you didn't test because of symptoms? I would direct them to the asymptomatic testing for themselves as well.

Dozer · 09/01/2021 11:49

Neighbour is U

QueenoftheAir · 09/01/2021 11:52

The app said I didn’t need to isolate until I tested positive and didn’t say I must get tested so this week I could have been out spreading the virus but have done exactly what I should do. In a news report this morning it was announced that a third of cases people have no symptoms, I only have a very slight cold

@55larry I think this is where policy is probably wrong, in terms of trying to stop the spread of the disease. You did the right thing, in infection control terms, and isolated, but those who don't - because the rules say they don't have to - can spread the disease far & wide.

An asymptomatic person can infect someone who has it badly, and so on.

Government & NHS policy is probably being pragmatic about how far people will follow the requirements, and who will not, so I suppose that's why we are in a very light lockdown, and there isn't the requirement to self-isolate in situations where actually, self-isolation should be required.

But I look at other countries (Australia, China) where life is pretty much back to normal, because they have implemented some strict requirements - have a look at the Australian quarantine requirements, for example.

We're in this dreary ongoing partial control, which means all of us suffering for longer. I wish our government would pull its finger out, and institute a short very restrictive lockdown, accompanied by universal compulsory testing and isolation for those who are +ve, and then get us back to a semblance of normal. They tested the whole of Wuhan in 3 days, and life is back to normal there.

Yesreallyreally · 09/01/2021 11:52

@LAMPS1 some areas like where I live, and presumably the OP, have mass asymptomatic testing available in the community. It’s been heavily featured in the news as a way to bring the virus under control. It is encouraged and advertised and anyone without symptoms can get a test and results within a few hours. It’s great.

tearsandtiaras · 09/01/2021 11:55

also what part of the country are you in?

In many parts you broke the rules speaking as a group of four

SchrodingersImmigrant · 09/01/2021 11:56

Imagine if everyone doing asymptomatic tests in mass testing areas would have to self isolate😂 It would be beautifully quiet though

QueenoftheAir · 09/01/2021 12:01

But with mass testing, the results are returned within a few hours. So everyone could just go home & have a nap Grin And then go back to normal life if they're negative.

blueluce85 · 09/01/2021 12:08

I truly hope OP that your self righteous and sanctimonious pricks of neighbours are self isolating "because that is the right thing to do" given the circumstances, despite the fact that you have done NOTHING wrong and people on this thread who are saying you should have self isolated really should clue themselves up with the guidance before spouting shit on here and berating you for what you did!

Hope your DH isn't suffering too badly from this and the rest of your family are ok?

Pigtailsandall · 09/01/2021 12:25

@blueluce85

I truly hope OP that your self righteous and sanctimonious pricks of neighbours are self isolating "because that is the right thing to do" given the circumstances, despite the fact that you have done NOTHING wrong and people on this thread who are saying you should have self isolated really should clue themselves up with the guidance before spouting shit on here and berating you for what you did!

Hope your DH isn't suffering too badly from this and the rest of your family are ok?

We are fine thank you! The toddler keeps banging on the door, furious we can't go out. We're going through a lot of snacks!
OP posts:
hardboiledeggs · 09/01/2021 12:29

The fact you ordered a test insinuates that you both had an idea he may have COVID. To continue going out when waiting for results is downright stupid! Yabu and I’d be pissed off too.

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