To defend my kids over noise given lockdown restrictions?

[Needsomegoodies]

We live in a terraced house, with wooden floors, so I appreciate noise carries. My children are not ‘naturally quiet’ and can be quite active and yes, sometimes they drive me mad thumping but only ever briefly, they are always asked to quieten down and consider the neighbours and are just regular excitable children. They are excellent sleepers so make no noise between 8pm and 8am and we’ve lived in our house since before the kids and no one has ever complained. Both my husband and I are WFH and home schooling the children, 8 and 5, which is hard. I spent the morning working with my little one to get her school work done at the expense of my own work while the older one worked online. I then took them both out for a walk for an hour at lunchtime to burn off some energy, then tried to juggle the afternoon working, helping older child finish school stuff, while 5 yo did colouring and played a quiet game alone. At about 5pm they were given permission to chill out and watch tv so I could get on with some work and DH went to shops to get stuff for dinner. They were quiet to start with but then started playing a game and jumping. After about 10 mins I went in and asked them to stop (which they did for all of 3 mins..) and after another 10 mins there was hammering on my front door and new (moved in just before Christmas) neighbour stated ranting at me about ‘excessive noise that was constant and relentless’ when they were trying to work. I explained that although the kids had been noisy right then, they’d been quiet most of the day and he claimed, no it’s constant and you need to stop the noise. I explained the challenges we are all facing and that it’s hard on the children but he seems to think they still shouldn’t be jumping around or making noise. At the end of the day. During a lockdown. His daughter of about 20 then joined him claiming she understood its hard as she’s young too but I replied no, she’s not 5, she has no idea. The kids are stuck at home and can’t see their friends so surely they can’t be begrudged some active play with a sibling from time to time, even if it’s a bit noisy?!

I’m massively stressed and exhausted and this has upset me but I don’t think I’m in the wrong here.

Or AIBU?

Do you have wooden floors? The fashion for these has massively increased noise complaints.
Fitted carpets reduce noise substantially.

TV's on the wall have increased noise complaints as well.

@gannett

When did adults have to stay in so kids could go to school? We was in tier 2 till Boxing Day with all restaurants and pubs open! Why have you been stuck in since September

London. Can't remember exactly when the rule of 6 was brought in but I know that I haven't legally been allowed to socialise indoors with anyone from a different household since at least the start of October. Which in the winter essentially rules out any actual pleasant socialising.

But that wasn’t so kids could go to school. It was because infection rates were high in your area.

Say what?? There was a trade off? When?

Various experts - including Prof. Chris Whitty ( and all the expert scientists trying to enlighten the government) - said this in September: that in order to open schools safely, we'd have to accept restrictions on a lot of other things, such as pubs & restaurants.

Of course, this shower-of-shite government doesn't listen to experts until too late.

What the clear message should been was that IF people wanted schools & colleges to stay open, they would need to restrict quite tightly all other mixing. If children were mixing at school, then it should have been made clear that they & their families should not mix anywhere else.

Think it through, it's logical.

I live alone, no children at home, but I've been prepared to stay this way in order that we can get a handle on this virus. I've also been very aware that the restrictions I am following were to enable children & young people to continue their education.

It's a pity a lot of families haven't been so considerate of others.

Are those bare wooden floors? Then put some rugs down. Keep the receipts. That way you can at least demonstrate that you have made some effort.
Kids will be kids and lockdown is hard, but wooden floors in this context are a bad, bad idea.

Id tell him to fvck right off, the kids have a right to play however loud they want, everythings been taken from them this last 12 months, fvck your neighbours

Have social services been round yet?

They’re small and the weather isn’t great and you took them for an hour walk. I think you’ve been more than reasonable and they can go back to a detached house if they can’t cope. I do realise I have hit the jackpot with neighbours (elderly lady reminds me every time I apologise for my 3 that she was one of 10 and likes hearing them - I’m sure she doesn’t). We don’t allow screaming/shrieking but I won’t stop playing during daytime hours. No one would support his viewpoint from a legal standpoint and given his Tv is loud and he doesn’t care he obviously needs to adapt to his new living situation. Yes some people are saying they can’t handle the noise but honestly children need to play.

I feel for your neighbours but this isn’t usual circumstances so I do think they could be more flexible. Kids are struggling enough and need to blow off steam in their own homes. They need support not criticism. I also think that some older people have no tolerance for children’s noise at all.

Our previous neighbour was constantly complaining about my (very polite) dc playing outside. The slightest noise and she would be at the window curtain twitching. We lived in a bloody 4 bed detached and she wasn’t even next door, and couldn’t actually see our garden, so it wasn’t as though she was constantly tolerating kid noise, literally the only time she could hear them was on the rare occasions they would play out. I did ask the kids to be quieter, and they did comply - they are great kids - but it wasn’t enough. I genuinely think she would only have been happy if they had never set foot outside (in their own garden I might add). She was just a miserable bitter woman who wanted everything her own way and I wish I hadn’t humoured her nonsense for so long. When we moved house, we opted for more land and neighbours not too close. She put us off them for life.

Wooden flooring has cost people dear .... as this couple found to their detriment ...

My friend had new neighbours move in upstairs last year who promptly ripped up all the carpet and let their kid ride a tricycle up and down the flat all the live long day. She works from home full time now and is going out of her mind. She politely went to speak to them and they laughed and shut the door in her face.

Needless to say she's flathunting now.

@CovidHalloween

Neighbour can get noise cancelling headphones if he wants to work in peace. They work really well. I know I would, and that’s what I used to wear on planes pre kids because of the relentless noise from upset babies and all I wanted to do was to sleep.

What if he needs to hear his phone ringing?

Neighbour can get noise cancelling headphones if he wants to work in peace.

in a thread full of bat-shittery this is right up there with the battiest of them. nobody should need to wear noise cancelling headphones in their own home to block out the sound of their neighbours

@isitsummertimeyet

Id tell him to fvck right off, the kids have a right to play however loud they want, everythings been taken from them this last 12 months, fvck your neighbours

Straight from the pages of Brat-breeding 101. I honestly think your attitude, if indeed you have children, is fostering a selfish, over-entitled attitude in them that will, hopefully, come back and bite your behind when they're older.

Oh god it’s a tough one. I live next door to a house with screaming kids. I see both sides but when your working from home and have a constant scream or jumping around coming through the walls it’s hard to concentrate on your work. One of the kids from next door will scream at bedtime too for atleast an hour. I actually feel sorry for her parents but it’s also awful to listen too and drives me round the bend.

Oh and I have noise cancelling earphones the noise still carries and people shouldn’t have to wear them non stop because people don’t control their kids.

No one is probably entirely in the right or wrong. You can’t help some noise, but you can try and dampen it with rugs and shoes off. You can also be as strict as you can re no jumping - and by taking them out for a daily run or slinging them in garden. That’s all you can do, they will still have some rowdy moments because they are kids.

I’d make a note of the conversation and the actions you take, just in case it escalates. It probably won’t. But if they come back you can say what you’ve done since you spoke and say that is all you can do.

No one is probably entirely in the right or wrong.

A court of law says differently 🌺

I can see it from both sides. That being said you need to make him aware of the noise his house is creating too. If he can see it’s not one sided he may be more tolerant.
I’m in a mid terrace now after living in a semi for most of my life, and current house also has very thin walls, so the noise I hear from both side can be bad, that being said they both have younger kids, and I know that my ds can be very vocal and animated whilst playing online.

@isitsummertimeyet

Id tell him to fvck right off, the kids have a right to play however loud they want, everythings been taken from them this last 12 months, fvck your neighbours

I'm sure you'll have a mighty collection of asbos for the trophy shelf.

I couldn't listen to my own kids thumping about for 20 minutes so hearing someone else's for that long would drive me potty! In my old terraced house, I could hear the neighbours turn the light switch on, you'd be surprised how sound carries if your house is quiet. I agree with others, get some rugs down and tell them to stop thumping a bit more often than every 10 minutes!