To not let DH talk DS out of applying to Durham Uni?

[cruddled]

I grew up local to Durham University but never considered applying back in the late eighties because I had a stereotyped view of it as being 'posh' and filled with 'Oxbridge rejects' from private schools. Whether or not it was true at the time, it was certainly a widespread view. My DH grew up in Yorkshire and had the same negative opinion of it. We were both first-generation university applicants and both ended up at other Russell Group universities in the north of England, then moved to Greater London for work, which is where we met and have lived ever since.

Now our DS1 in year 12 is thinking of putting Durham as one of his UCAS choices and seems quite keen on the idea. DH is less keen and has privately suggested we talk him out of it, but only because of his past prejudice. I disagree. I know there was a very negative story in the news recently because some students certainly did live up to the stereotype (www.chroniclelive.co.uk/news/north-east-news/north-east-durham-university-students-19131519), but I'm generous enough to assume they are in the minority and that the university has otherwise moved on a bit.

Please tell me I'm right and that Durham is now at least comparable with other 'top' universities for inclusivity.

These days, they have to rank all 17 colleges in order of preference. Do they DD is a first year and didn't do that- she only had to name one.

Objectively overall the average OXbridge student is more academic than the average Durham student, but there is a massive overlap

I'm poor, I got full grant. I went to Durham uni 30+ years ago to one of the posher colleges.
Best years of my life,

My DS is at Durham uni now too. We are poor (albeit I have an amazing professional career) . All state educated, he's at a hill college (much to 'Pick my old college you traitor' teasing !! 🤣 ) He didn't even mention his mum had been to Durham

It is a fantastic university, the teaching and experience is phenomenal, and it's a highly respected uni. DS and I were Oxbridge rejects and thank god we were as I know Durham suited me better.

I am still friends with my Durham uni group (some private educated some state) and we're godparents to each other's children) . It's a different experience to going to a large urban uni but one that suited me and suits DS well. I did my postgrads elsewhere (due to courses I needed) and by far my time at Durham was all round more fun, more thrilling and more cosy.

Yanbu to ask your DH not to put his prejudice onto DS. Quite right to let DS choose without pressure. It may help him hugely to experience different backgrounds.
I know my DS appreciates it and so did I.

@a8mint

These days, they have to rank all 17 colleges in order of preference. Do they DD is a first year and didn't do that- she only had to name one.

Objectively overall the average OXbridge student is more academic than the average Durham student, but there is a massive overlap

5 years ago now but DD only had to select one college. Straightforward choice - want catered, a guaranteed single room and modern feel so went for Van Mildert!

It wasn't a very exciting one I'm afraid. He was one of two.

Let DS choose, all Universities have their tribes. Both DH and myself were involved with widening participation programmes within the respective Universities we worked in. The RG University I worked in at the time had almost 40% of students from privately educated backgrounds whilst only around 7% of children overall attend private school.

DH went to Oxbridge he belonged to an exclusive drinking club all members had gone to a few select private schools. I went to a state school and we met when junior members of staff at a RG University. Stuff like those drinking clubs are tackled these days and banned.

On a lighter reading the word rah which I have not heard for years reminded me of the University Challenge episode of The Young Ones, stereotypes abound.

I went to Durham!

Yes it has the posh contingent of Ox-bridge rejects but they’re just a (large) minority.

It’s diverse enough and is a brilliant university.

Don’t be put off- a Durham degree is highly respected.

My DC applied to Durham this year and had to rank all 17 colleges in order of preference. Quite difficult when you’ve never set foot in the place!

I think there is one particular college - Hatfield - that still has a ‘rah’ image. Perhaps by asking them to rank all 17 colleges now, they are trying to mitigate against public school students ending up in Hatfield because that’s the one they put as their first choice. I think they want to get away from this pattern of state school pupils choosing certain colleges to avoid perceived “rah ness” and so on. If they can give people their 3rd or 6th choice college, this gives more flexibility.

We did actually get up to visit Durham more recently. DC was concerned about the reputation, even coming an independent school. We sat in a cafe and people watched. No, the intake is not as diverse as say, a London uni, but there are definitely a good number of international students (from China by the look of it). A few young men wandering round who look like super sporty types, but the vast majority just look like young people you would see anywhere. The contact DC had with the college (a Bailey college) was fantastic - super friendly and down-to-earth. We really liked it. So much character and the river is gorgeous.

DC applied to Durham this year and had to rank all 17 colleges in order of preference. Quite difficult when you’ve never set foot in the place!
That must be new for this year then