To be annoyed that this woman ruins my dog walks?

[IAmARectangle]

I've name changed for this as I've moaned to a couple of friends in RL about it.

I live in a village that has a massive park in it, and I take our dog over to the park each day at least once as she loves it there. There is an area specifically for dogs so she can go off the lead, and she enjoys walking through the rest of it on the lead so she can have a sniff. The only other place in our village where she could go off the lead would be some woods, which are a fair walk from our house to get there and are also very muddy and flooded at this time of year. I am currently working from home and the kids are doing online learning, so I like to just nip out for a quick half hour walk.

For the last year or so there has been a woman with a dog who is at the park literally every single time I go there. Lets just say she is a chatterbox! She is always talking to someone at the park and if she gets there with her dog she makes a beeline to find someone to talk to and then talks and talks and talks and talks, about the same things over and over again.

In the last couple of months she makes a beeline for me every time she sees me. She is there literally every time I go to the park; I've tried walking the dog at every single time of daylight hours you could think of to avoid her but she is always, always there! If I think she's not there it isn't long before I see her out of the corner of my eye walking towards me and if I pretend not to see her she follows me and catches up with me, then just walks along talking at me and I just can't get away from her.

The other day I was on a work call whilst in the dog exercising area and this woman came and stood with me and as I walked around the area talking on my phone she just talked at me the whole time! I wasn't interacting with her in any way as I was on the phone but she just kept telling me the same stories that she's told me before, such as the story of where she got her dog from!

I've just literally been to the park now and as I walked into the park she was standing talking to someone so I sort of did a detour around her at the entrance so she wouldn't see me and went around the kids play area to enter the dog area a different way and yet still as we walked across the park to the dog area I could see her out of the corner of my eye following us. So I kept the dog on the lead and walked through the park as quickly as I could then made an escape and had to walk home on the main road as she was trying to catch us up.

It sounds ridiculous but she is ruining my dog walks! I like a half hour quiet walk to relax and for the dog to enjoy her walk. I'm not antisocial and always have chats with other walkers but this woman is something else! I'm normally pretty assertive but I've tried all the assertive things that would normally work and she doesn't get the hint. Even walking off from her saying 'right, better go now' she just follows me, talking at me! I can't get away from her until I actually walk out of the park gates. I've also been at the park with a friend and her dog before and this woman just started walking with us, talking 'at' us the whole time. Again, same old stories!

I don't think she's lonely as she talks about a husband and kids at home, and seems to know a lot of people. Not sure if age is relevant but she's late forties, early fifties at a guess.

AIBU to be pissed off with her?

It does sound like she has autism or disabilities, however, the op doesn't owe her her time or energy.

Ignore and headphones op.

Where's OP gone? What did you say to her today, and did it work? Did you go at 5am to check if she follows you there? I used to get this daily on the school pick up whilst walking through the park on the way to school. It was my only 30 minutes of the day of the calm before the storm, and this woman would just appear at the same point every day like she'd purposely been waiting for me. Her questions became increasingly nosey and she often rambled about the same problem. Phone calls didn't stop her talking and nor did earphones in listening to music. I tried not interacting to no avail and eventually had to be firm but polite and tell her I didn't want to talk or listen because I needed my own company for that short time every day. She completely ignored that and bounded up to me again the next day! I ended up being a bit rude and telling her to just go away and leave me alone because I'd tried being polite the day before but she'd not taken it on board. I was completely at the end of my tether after it all. She said she thought I was just having a bad day and didn't mean it! So there was obviously some awareness there - so some people really are just THAT annoying.

@IAmARectangle She's probably just a bit lonely, especially at the moment, with all the Covid restrictions. Maybe if you were jogging with your dog, you could run away from her?

I understand totally why this is annoying. I would get annoyed. However, maybe this lady has a dire situation at home, poorly family member, domestic abuse, she’s lonely... it could be that the park and trying to absorb herself in conversation is an escape. If she is retelling the same stories it could be that she’s forgotten she’s told you them due to a health problem or she may just be so desperate to chat that she’ll say anything, and as she talks to random people she may not even realise who she’s told and who she hasn’t. I think you do need to be firm with her, but sensitively if that’s possible. You need your me time as much as she needs to talk by the sounds of it. Perhaps you could engage in conversation with her about something and turn the conversation to sources of entertainment for her, like have you tried netflix, or making suggestions about sites she could go to to talk if she is having problems, it’s a difficult one as you need your time, but at the same time, if it were me, I’d hate to think that this could be her cry for help.

Give her the number of the Samaritans!

You have kids to talk to and possibly a partner . Sounds like this woman does not . Patience and kindness

Dog walkers are friendly creatures.... Normally

I would talk on my phone and when she starts talking to me I would put my finger in my opposite ear and turn my back on her.
If she walked round to my front I would turn again, and again, and again, until she got the message.
I would do that every day she tried to come and talk.

@Rhumatoidwarrior88

You have kids to talk to and possibly a partner . Sounds like this woman does not . Patience and kindness

You didn't bother reading the post then?

Oh god how annoying. I've known pple like this. I just don't give them a chance to start talking coz once they start they don't stop.

I literally start walking away as soon as they try to talk & hurriedly say sorry can't talk gotta go & put my hand up 🖐🏼 & walk away. Works everytime. If it fails just cry & say can't talk & walk off lol 😂

We have a lady at our church who looks like a normal fifty-something, but she is exactly like this and super annoying. I tried to be patient because she loved chatting about my youngest DD in the creche. Later, I found out she had a brain injury from an accident. She had no real inhibitions or ability to read social cues. However, I finally just said "I can't talk today" and turned my back to her and walked the other way. I thought it would be mean and she would be upset, but she barely noticed and found someone else eventually.

I used to hide from a neighbour because she was of this nature. I have things to do and cannot talk all day unfortunately.

I can only sympathise.

Since there are several easy fixes, no reason to be stressed about Ms. Chatterbox. Fix one: Tell her to leave you to your quiet meditation while you walk your dog. Fix two: Tell her to go away. Fix three: get yourself a large pair of earphones. Wear them. They do not have to be attached to anything, purely visual. When she starts talking, smile brightly, point to your earphones, wave bye-bye.

On the other hand, if you own a dog it's unusual to not talk and be sociable. I get what you mean though. It's every blinking time she accosts you.

I think it is hilarious that some posters are recommending telling this woman that you can't talk today etc. This woman doesn't want you to talk - she wants you to listen!

I hope you have lots of ideas to try out on this poor but annoying woman .

Have you tried stopping, looking straight at her and saying 'please go away I don't want to talk to you'. That's quite polite. I don't know what breed of dog you have but wld 'go away or I'll set my fucking dog on you' work?

Tell her she's not in your Covid bubble. Walk away.

Huge over ear headphones as PP suggest. I don’t see how she can talk to you if you have them on. I lived in a ground floor flat with a little garden area outside. Every time I sat outside to enjoy the sunshine and read a book, I was constantly interrupted by friendly passerby’s. It drove me ‘kin nuts. They meant well and were just being friendly but There were times I just got sick of it. I bought a pair of the big headphones and just kept my head in the book not looking up when I didn’t want to chat. If I was up for a chat I would leave them off. Problem solved!

She sounds as if she has adhd . Or autism. I have adhd. Before I was aware of it, I was about 20 something, I interrupted people, talked at 100mph, talked over people, got in trouble for interrupting and talking over people at work and being loud inappropriately and the social cues etc sound a bit like autism . She sounds like me, prior to medication. She might have an early form of dementia if she forgets things . She might just be a busybody but any of it is not your problem. If necessary, be blunt , or say you need to be on your own and please leave me alone or something , I know that sounds pretty rude but at least its not "eff off you weirdo ".

usually folks are just the opposite , very much keeping themselves to themselves , this is maybe going too much the other way , maybe she is just very frendly , if you can be too friendly, we just arent used to it

Maybe she has a mental health problem? Or she might be some here on the autistic spectrum?
In these very difficult time some kindness doesn't go amiss does it?
Walk somewhere else for a while!

i knew someone like this . There was nothing wrong with him bar liking the sound of his own voice, he was very clever in fact. i learnt to tune out when he was talking at me.
it didnt matter what i said to him he didnt hear it.
He has now moved.
I would try, in an assertive manner hand held up palm out and say, im sorry today is not a good day i need to be alone, thankyou and walk away.

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Carry a note saying “infectious” and show it to her when she approaches and then walk away.