Do I have a right to be angry about this? (Trans related)

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Nc for obvious reasons. This is a very personal issue to me which I am understandably sensitive about, so this may be why I feel this way. I am perfectly happy to be told I AMBU! I believe trans people deserve love and respect and a happy life just like everyone else. So why did this concern and anger me?

I have a condition called vaginismus which has been very traumatic and caused me lots of grief over my life. In my eyes it is a very personal and female problem. (Look if up if you're not sure what it is).

I have tried to join a support group on a social media platform to really get to the bottom of it and sort it out. I wont say which one as dont want to 'out' either myself or the group involved. My request was pending and a message sent. I assumed this was to confirm I definitely suffer from this condition and to make sure I wasn't some strange pervert, but no! The administrator messaged me to say that before I was accepted I would have to answer a 'test question' as this is a gender inclusive group. Will I be addressing group members as 'ladies, men or everyone'. The tone felt quite aggressive and if I did not pass this test I would not be admitted.

My first thought was are men allowed to enter this group? Do I really have to speak about my vagina in front of 'everyone'? Why not say hello ladies (and the occasional transman who currently has issues with their vagina) no I have to address everyone? Wtf?

I honestly don't know what to think right now but this group clearly isn't for me. But maybe I just need some re-education?

Personal attacks get deleted, or other things that break the talk guidelines - you don't get deleted for having a differing opinion for goodness sake

I for one am very interested to hear Lemon explain why she has equated the word woman on a t-shirt with misogynistic language.

Who does it benefit to hide all the problems women face as a sex behind neutral language ?

It doesn't benefit anyone to hide it all nor do i think it all should be hidden, certainly some aspects of neutral language will benefit women though.

I'm amazed someone who used a presumably woman only refuge is happy eroding women's rights.

Some things being trans inclusive is a completely different thing to eroding womens rights.

If you are happy to go along with it, you also must accept that others are not

I have said that already. I understand that some people aren't happy.

You are just unable to engage with the wider issues here. It's clear why.

I have been engaging with pretty much all of the posts and issues. If I have missed something its a genuine oversight. I must have missed you actually answering the question that you quoted there though.

Only in the sense of correcting the strange idea a few people have that some males can be considered female

Oh so it is to do with the trans debate then. Thought so

I would agree, whoever it was that did that.

I'm happy for MNHQ to confirm the only post I reported was the one suggesting I am ALM because I didn't wish to engage in a debate about skin colour, MNHQ clearly agreed because it was removed. Just in case you think it was me. I have no idea what has been said in the removed posts as I wasn't online most of yesterday and have no idea why they were removed.

I for one am very interested to hear Lemon explain why she has equated the word woman on a t-shirt with misogynistic language.

Those tshirts are aimed at being goady towards transgender individuals, a tshirt with misogynistic language would be aimed at being goady towards women. I don't think either are acceptable.

I have been engaging with pretty much all of the posts and issues.

"Engagement" to me requires even handed discussion, not cheap point scoring, which is what you were doing.

Oh so it is to do with the trans debate then.

Just asserting the correct definition of "woman" for the confused in society. So yes, in a way. But it's primarily about women. As not everything on earth revolves around what trans people think.

As I said. If a few people weren't confused, there would be no need to put something so self evident to 99% of people on a t shirt. It's a public service.

"Engagement" to me requires even handed discussion, not cheap point scoring,

I am discussing, you don't agree with what I'm saying, I get that, but that doesn't make my opinions 'cheap point scoring'. I would say calling me racist, sexist, not understanding English, and saying I'm young with no life experience in order to try and invalidate my opinions are all cheap point scoring though.

Just asserting the correct definition of "woman" for the confused in society. So yes, in a way. But it's primarily about women. As not everything on earth revolves around what trans people think.

Thank you for clarifying that it is about trans people.

It still boils down to whether not you want to believe, or allow, that regardless of genetics, that some men are actually women, or some women actually men.

If you want to allow that to be true then nothing anyone says will make a difference to you... and little you say about sex, gender, men and women, will make much sense.

It all boils down to that one perspective.

New Think, or
Science

If New Think then all else is seen through that lens and any demurral is heresy!

Thank you for clarifying that it is about trans people.

It's about the correct definition of woman. Which is to do with FTM trans people, but not really anything to do with MTF trans people as they don't meet it. So you're half right.

If you want to allow that to be true then nothing anyone says will make a difference to you... and little you say about sex, gender, men and women, will make much sense.

Exactly. Nothing people who subscribe to this ideology does make sense, as it's based on a system of magical thinking.

Nothing they say, I mean to say

The trouble.with magical.thinking is that its very difficult to remember what you are supposed to be thinking.

When everything has lost all meaning you simply cant keep up with what's supposed to mean what. Often people who have re defined language end up tripping themselves up anyway

It's been quite funny to see woke celebs dropping themselves in it talking about Sam Smith, Elliott Page or Eddie Izzard.

I know. It wouldn't he so bad if they hadn't also used their platform to criticise and insult those who don't believe , but even those who want to believe can not realistically untrained their brain to detach what they see from what they know to be true.

When you cant speak the truth about what you see then you will inevitable put your foot in it.

I think that's why they intone the mantra "trans women are women" so very often. So as not to forget that they are supposed to believe it, and show that they do.

I'm also very curious about what the same people would do if they had ti give a witness account or report a missing person.

What matters more. Having the whole nation look for the wrong 50 percent if the population but maintaining the moral high ground and validation of identity.

Or correctly describing a person right down to their sex to ensure they are found safe.

I'm also very curious about what the same people would do if they had ti give a witness account or report a missing person.

I had to report a missing person who is trans so I can answer this.

I gave height, size, hair and clothing description, any identifying features, which I explained they are x but have x genitals (had that person been post op i would have described the scars from their operations) and then when the police arrived I gave them a photo.

It would be like the police alerts about the woman on the run after committing an assault.

Said woman was a man... a man who occasionally asked to be referred to a 'she'.

Police chose to look for him in female 'mode' ... that being how the police choose to interpret the request/guidance/not law that we be polite and inclusive. Fucking ridiculous!

Not everyone is going to have access to the photos immediately though are they.

If your kid wandered off in a supermarket and security were radioing the details don't you think they need to know of rhey are looking for a boy in a green t shirt and grey joggers or a girl?

Mealy mouthed bollocks!

Having really reported a missing trans friend I described him as a transwoman. Likely to be wearing jeans, t-shirt and in some distress.

Anything else would have caused more issues and made it far more difficult to find him... which they did, just before he threw himself into a river!

I mean faffing abkut talking about their privates.

10 ur old boy
Black hair
Green eyes
Blue sweater.

I mean you start talking about identities the staff will panic about mis gendering etc causing delays

Thank heavens they found them.

All the skirting around facts causes delays. That can't be helpful.

If your kid wandered off in a supermarket and security were radioing the details don't you think they need to know of rhey are looking for a boy in a green t shirt and grey joggers or a girl?

Whats the difference between a male and female child when they both have short (or long) hair, a green top, jeans and trainers?

Havingreallyreported a missing trans friend

I explained how I reported my missing loved one, why would I lie you made different choices to me, it doesn't mean I'm lying. Sorry that your friend was suffering to that extent though.

Because you can tell the difference between girls and boys the majority of the time. We need to stop pretending otherwise. That sex is some secret thing no one knows unless told.

I can only imagine the call handler's face. "Hi, my friend is missing. She is a woman with a penis and possibly two testicles (but I haven't seen them so can't confirm)."