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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want to share the truth about Insta-bragger colleague

399 replies

Shr1881 · 04/01/2021 03:11

I have a very recently rejoined Instagram after a break. Starting to regret it now 🤦🏻‍♀️. I chose the option to add contacts from my Facebook and so this meant that I have followed the Instagram of a colleague, amongst others.

Aforementioned colleague has recently moved into a new house. It’s all she has talked about recently in the office, fair enough it’s an exciting time but even so. She’s told us about the fact that her and her DH have only been able to buy this place because it is shared ownership. They’ve bought a 25% share and then pay a massively inflated rent to a housing association on the rest of it. As time goes on, they are able to eventually buy more shares if they wish. It’s a big new build - there is only her and the DH- and she has openly said that there is no way they will be able to afford it otherwise. A couple of us in the office had tried to convince her to perhaps look at a slightly smaller house that they would have been able to get a mortgage on the normal way but she had her heart set on the big new build. She referred to it as “Insta-worthy”, which made me and other colleagues eye roll! I even told her about a couple of people I’ve known in years gone by who have had lots of issues with shared ownership properties... I have a friend who lives in one and has to ask for permission from the housing association every time she does any work to it, I also know somebody else who ran into a load of financial difficulties when they wanted to sell their share. But she was adamant this is what she wanted.

I was having a browse of her Instagram earlier this evening. Many of you here may know that there is a big ‘New Home’ community on Instagram and she seems to have thrown herself into that. The issue I have is the blatant lying! She has been inundated With comments on how beautiful the house is, and have had people saying things like “you are so lucky, how on earth have you afforded this, I could ever dream of a house like this” etc etc and she has replied telling people all about how hard she and her DH have worked over the years and it took them a long long time to save up, and telling people about how DH has recently had a career change to a high-paying job which allowed them to buy the house - absolute lies - her DH is in and out of work as he can’t hold a job down!! Does warehouse work now and again.. She has quite openly told us all of this. (There is a group of us who have worked together for a long time so we all know each other well on a personal level). They got the 25% mortgage based on her salary alone.

Then she’s been doing all the humble-bragging of hashtag hardworkpaysoff, I haven’t got enough stuff to fill these huuuuge fitted wardrobes.. it’s really quite cringey!

She has even told us girls in the office that If anybody asks where she lives then she lies and tells them something else because it would give away the fact that they are in a shared ownership property if anyone knew the location!?

I feel so spiteful but the bragging and fibbing is just terrible on her Instagram, I have to work with this woman four days a week and she never stops talking about house stuff, should I just drop a cheeky comment on her Instagram, filling people in on the truth, or should I just stop looking at her page? 😂 honestly wind me up so much when people fabricate a completely different life online to what they actually live.

OP posts:
ChronicallyCurious · 04/01/2021 10:23

Why on earth would you comment? Unfollow her and mind your own business Confused

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 04/01/2021 10:24

Will you "expose" everyone else with a mortgage left to pay, let alone rent?

Unless you own 100% off your home (or car) and paid cash for everything, you are not allowed to call them yours?

How does it work if people pay with credit card or a loan, do you need to see their bank statements before "exposing" them? Tell us more Shr1881

yetanothernamitynamechange · 04/01/2021 10:25

I think some people use instagram like they would use the sims - to build a fantasy world/as a form of excapism. Its a lot more mentally damaging than the sims, because people get sucked into a negative cycle of comparison/further fantasy building and their real lives get more and more detached from their ideal. However, it is predominantly themselves they are hurting so I dont think it makes her a bad person.

SmileyClare · 04/01/2021 10:26

Hmm yes there is a certain amount of snobbery surrounding shared ownership I agree.

miraloma · 04/01/2021 10:27

'You wouldn’t take a Polaroid of your kitchen sink all clean and take it around to all your friends houses so that they could tell you how shiny it was.*'
*
This highlights exactly how ridiculous life has become.

Janegrey333 · 04/01/2021 10:28

She sounds pretty pathetic. But then that side of Instagram is full of lies anyway. Still, it would be tempting to point to the untruths.

Whythesadface · 04/01/2021 10:28

Can you not let her have her small moments of happiness?
If her husband is often not working, and she is as broke as you say, I think her Instagram house is probably the only joy in her life.
Also find some common ground, that you both enjoy and talk about that with her.
Planting the garden might be good.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 04/01/2021 10:31

You still have to work hard to get a shared ownership property.

MellowYellow101 · 04/01/2021 10:33

[quote finkking]@MellowYellow101 Interesting I had to manage the insta account for a company I worked for. Couldn't stand it & it turned me off the whole thing except MNs. [/quote]
It is truly awful. There is a documentary called the social dilemma on netflix which gives a topline overview on the damaging effects of social media. Even the people that run these companies do not let their families on the sites, says it all. I just couldn't play along with it anymore - it has created this socially accepted falsehood and people try so hard to grab the attention of people they barely speak to - it's crazy!!! Don't get me started on app development 😆

EdwardCullensBiteOnTheSide · 04/01/2021 10:34

Keep your nose out!

MiddleClassMother · 04/01/2021 10:37

Leave it to her it's not hurting anyone. She is probably really unhappy with her life and wants to make it look perfect from an outsiders perspective. That's the reality of social media, it's not real.

HmmSureJan · 04/01/2021 10:37

I genuinely don't understand why this would anger someone or make them resentful enough to try to humiliate someone over it. It would make me snort to myself and maybe say to my significant other, "look at this! What a fibber!" But that's as far as it would go.

AgeLikeWine · 04/01/2021 10:38

This thread is the reason why anyone with any sense doesn’t use or engage with social media.

Lampzade · 04/01/2021 10:40

You are being spiteful Op
Why are you so invested in this woman ?

PattyPan · 04/01/2021 10:41

@TheNinny

Its sounds spiteful. Who cares on the ins and outs of legal ownership. Is she really gonna get on to each poster and explain how its really shared ownership/housing asoiciation at whatever shares. It is her where she lives so describing it as her home is not complete fabrication. Same with those renting. And she has told.you and her colleagues the actual truth which she wasnt obligated to do. She seems insecure about the fact its HA and is wanting to hide it from others. She shouldnt but we all have insecurites. Im sure your other colleagues exaggerate or fib details od thier lives to save face. Ypu just have no way of checking. Id ignore/unfollow and not worry about lies she tells to stangers online
She wasn’t obliged to tell her colleagues the truth? I would disagree - we all have a social obligation not to lie, especially in the workplace Hmm
ReceptacleForTheRespectable · 04/01/2021 10:41

The thing is, she's not actually bragging is sue? If she really owned the whole house she'd be bragging, but as it is she's living in a fantasy world, none of it is real.

She's more to be pitied than anything - she's obviously insecure and unhappy if this is how she seeks validation.

nitsandwormsdodger · 04/01/2021 10:42

I live in a house that my partner and I could not own on our wages alone

I don't feel the need to tell everyone who admires it that I got it mostly via inheritance as it's no ones business , recently someone was wistful that they don't have a nice big house like mine, and I pointed out that I would happily swap with her and raise my kids in her small fiat if it ment I could have my parents back in our lives, my point is to be jealous of what others have is silly as you don't know the full story

Also , She would not have been given the mortgage and set up unless she could prove she could pay for it so she has most probably worked hard and saved up so therefore can rightly claim pride at her achievement

Lampzade · 04/01/2021 10:42

@AgeLikeWine

This thread is the reason why anyone with any sense doesn’t use or engage with social media.
Exactly I am not on FAKEBOOK, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat. MN is the my only form of social media and it is an anonymous forum
Janegrey333 · 04/01/2021 10:43

@Lampzade

You are being spiteful Op Why are you so invested in this woman ?
Because she is boring people witless? And she is being dishonest?
Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 04/01/2021 10:44

All social media is basically a lie
Let it go

HmmSureJan · 04/01/2021 10:44

She wasn’t obliged to tell her colleagues the truth? I would disagree - we all have a social obligation not to lie, especially in the workplace

No she isn't obligated to tell her colleagues the truth about her personal and financial life. How weird that anyone would think that.

stackemhigh · 04/01/2021 10:46

When I was reading the OP and cringing I could predict the responses. OP, have you spent any time on MN at all?!

RhubarbTea · 04/01/2021 10:46

She sounds insecure, and you sound like a horrible person. HTH.

finkking · 04/01/2021 10:46

It would make me snort to myself and maybe say to my significant other, "look at this! What a fibber!

So it's ok to say it begins her back but not to her face.

finkking · 04/01/2021 10:46

behind!

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