Page 6 | To want to eat as a family?

Rose789 · 2021-01-03T18:48:56+00:00

Dh has again said how much he prefers eating later then we currently we do and thinks it’s silly that we all sit down for tea the minute he walks in the door. We have two kids aged 5 and almost 2. Dp finishes work at 4.45 and works 10 minutes from home. I work 7-3.15 from home. I pick the kids up from school and nursery at 3.30 and 3.45 home for 4. Cook tea and me and the kids are normally starving by 5pm when he gets in. He would prefer to relax and unwind and then have tea around 7pm. I think it’s so important to sit down as a family together and honestly mealtimes are my favourite time of the day when we are all together and get to talk about our day. It helps the kids try new food, helps table manners and conversation skills. Dh would happy to join us at the table and then just eat his meal reheated later on. But it just seems anti social to me. One day a week the kids have an easy tea- beans on toast or something similar when I go to my dads. I grab something later and dh sorts out his once the kids are in bed. I hate it and miss the family time, Dh loves it. Do you sit together as a family for mealtimes? Thoughts are most welcome YABU- eating together doesn’t matter YANBU- family meals are important

BackforGood · 03/01/2021 23:35

What do you mean "that's not fair" , Natalia ?

I was pointing out that, just because something is different from what you are used to, doesn't make it "ludicrous". I stand by that. I don't think it "ludicrous" that you eat so late - it is what you are used to and presumably suits your life. We are all different. That's fine.

katy1213 · 03/01/2021 23:39

That's more like a late lunch! Poor man, he doesn't want to be treated as if he were under-five.

Wheresmykimchi · 03/01/2021 23:42

@BackforGood

What do you mean "that's not fair" , Natalia ?

I was pointing out that, just because something is different from what you are used to, doesn't make it "ludicrous". I stand by that. I don't think it "ludicrous" that you eat so late - it is what you are used to and presumably suits your life. We are all different. That's fine.

She said no that's fair...

spidermomma · 03/01/2021 23:43

@Wheresmykimchi haha thank you, I cook for the 5000 I swear! Don't know how to cook for just me and the oh if we're child free (once a blue moon)
The dog even gets a portion too sorry I missed her out. She's also sat under the baby's high chair waiting 🤣
On a Sunday she's just sat in the middle of my kitchen waiting for that dinner. She knows it's Sunday, oh asked before what was wrong with her as she wouldn't leave the kitchen, yea she knew im sure if it!!! But was still dished up at 5 on the dot haahahahahaha

winetime89 · 03/01/2021 23:52

I prefer eating my evening meal on my own in front of the tv. I usually sit and potter round while the kids eat there's (at the table) and chat ect but in all honestly I don't particularly like eating with them. I feel like I'm rushing and can't enjoy my food. Oh doesn't get home till 7ish then helps put kids to bed so doesn't eat till about 8 which is far too late for me so all of us eat at different times. Sunday's we do all tend to eat together which is enough for me.

FabulousIAm · 04/01/2021 00:01

5pm is early?! It's about right. Doesn't anybody have supper? Kids have lunch at school at around 1pm - they'll be starving having dinner later. What time does your partner have lunch at work? Who cooks the dinner? Why is there a difference between what time adults and children have dinner - you're a family - you all have it together. If any adult's hungry later, that's what supper is for.

Wheresmykimchi · 04/01/2021 00:08

@winetime89

I prefer eating my evening meal on my own in front of the tv. I usually sit and potter round while the kids eat there's (at the table) and chat ect but in all honestly I don't particularly like eating with them. I feel like I'm rushing and can't enjoy my food. Oh doesn't get home till 7ish then helps put kids to bed so doesn't eat till about 8 which is far too late for me so all of us eat at different times. Sunday's we do all tend to eat together which is enough for me.

Do you not feel like when your kids get older that will be a bad example though?

Yeahnahmum · 04/01/2021 00:13

Compromise and eat at 6pm
And give the kids some snacks when they get back from school.

Notcontent · 04/01/2021 00:13

I don’t know any adults who eat at 5 pm - unless you have brunch at the weekend and then “dunch” at around 5 pm!

Yeahnahmum · 04/01/2021 00:15

You cant possibly ask someone to eat at 5pm. Unless you are dutch 😂 but even for the Dutch 6pm is the go to. Look if youe partner still doesn't want to eat at 6 then just ask him to sit at the table wiht all you guys. Me and my dh sit with the kida at dinner time but we eat when they go to sleep. I enjoy my meal way more without my kids there 😅

Anywherebuthere · 04/01/2021 00:17

You can't dictate when your DH eats.
He actually isnt being anti-social if he is happy to sit around the table with you all while you eat.

Maybe you could sit with kids with a coffe or something and eat later with your Dh?

For those saying to move the childrens dinner time to a later time. Are your kids not starving after school?

partyatthepalace · 04/01/2021 00:31

I’m all for families eating together but you can’t expect an adult to want to eat supper at 5pm

Why don’t you and he sit with the kids and have a snack at 5, and then eat at 7/7.30 together.

Once they are older you can all have supper together.

Anywherebuthere · 04/01/2021 00:32

@Darbs76

I’ve always eaten early growing up and now I’m working at home we eat at 5. I don’t need any more food later on. I think it’s reasonable you all eat together at 5.

Except it isnt a reasonable time if someone isnt hungry enough to eat at that time is it.

If your child told you they really werent hungry and didnt want to eat just yet would you still expect them to eat at a certain time?

AfterSchoolWorry · 04/01/2021 00:37

@Shamoo

5pm is very early for dinner for an adult!

You must be joking! I have no idea how people can wait until 6 and 7 !!! I'm practically asleep by then!

Anywherebuthere · 04/01/2021 00:42

Not sure why people think dinner at 5 is too early. To me dinner is when you're hungry. Obviously not all family members will be in sync but you can still sit with children while they eat and have your meal when it suits you better at times.

I know many people who dont eat after 5 because they dont think its good to sleep on a full stomach.

DianaT1969 · 04/01/2021 00:58

No. No way. I would have divorced you OP. 😃

scubadub · 04/01/2021 00:58

I would have a snack with dc when they get in. Then dinner at 6.00. Have everything ready for bedtime so bedtime can still be 7.00/7.30

FabulousIAm · 04/01/2021 01:12

How is anyone having their dinner at 7pm unless it's the weekend and you're out for a meal without the kids? You're in bed a couple or a few hours later, surely? Is everyone having mental meals, or what? Breakfast window is around 7am - 9am, then it's a snack at 11am, then lunch at around 1pm, then snack at 3pm, then dinner at 5pm, then, if you're still hungry, supper about an hour or so before you go to bed. If you're having your dinner at 7pm or later, what time are you all going to bed?!

AlwaysLatte · 04/01/2021 01:33

5 is a bit early, we've always eaten all together around 6pm. Maybe give them a small snack at around 4 to give your husband a chance to unwind first?

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/01/2021 02:10

How is anyone having their dinner at 7pm unless it's the weekend and you're out for a meal without the kids? You're in bed a couple or a few hours later, surely? Is everyone having mental meals, or what? Breakfast window is around 7am - 9am, then it's a snack at 11am, then lunch at around 1pm, then snack at 3pm, then dinner at 5pm, then, if you're still hungry, supper about an hour or so before you go to bed. If you're having your dinner at 7pm or later, what time are you all going to bed?!

This is barmy. Even now I’m working from home, I don’t finish until 5.30, so the earliest I can realistically eat is 6. Up until Covid hit, I had an hour-long commute - eating by 7 would be an achievement. I don’t think my situation is unusual. I’d say for most adults, being at home and in a position to eat at 5 would be unusual.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/01/2021 02:11

You must be joking! I have no idea how people can wait until 6 and 7 !!! I'm practically asleep by then!

Most people working standard hours don’t have a choice.

Oysterbabe · 04/01/2021 05:47

@FabulousIAm

How is anyone having their dinner at 7pm unless it's the weekend and you're out for a meal without the kids? You're in bed a couple or a few hours later, surely? Is everyone having mental meals, or what? Breakfast window is around 7am - 9am, then it's a snack at 11am, then lunch at around 1pm, then snack at 3pm, then dinner at 5pm, then, if you're still hungry, supper about an hour or so before you go to bed. If you're having your dinner at 7pm or later, what time are you all going to bed?!

We don't all get home until 6 on a normal day. Dinner is 6:30 earliest.

garlictwist · 04/01/2021 05:58

5 is very early! Even for the kids. Can't they just have a snack and you eat later all together? Most people are still at work/nursery at that time.

IHaveBrilloHair · 04/01/2021 06:07

My Dad insisted on this, it was ridiculous, especially once I was a teenager.
My Mum ended up putting a TV in the dining room so I could still watch Hollyoaks at dinner time.
He soon got the hint

Dee1975 · 04/01/2021 08:09

We sit together as a family as often as we can. We eat around 530 / 545. Obviously this last year it’s been every evening as we have been at home. Under ‘normal circumstances’ it would be 4 times a week. DC would still eat at 530 ish, but we would eat once I’m home around 630.
I do think it’s important to eat together as a family.