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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

So bloody cross with my Mum.

443 replies

mioz · 03/01/2021 12:58

DM lives alone and has bubbled with my household. She came over yesterday for a cup of tea, all completely normal. She text me today to say she’s been for a COVID test as she’s had a sore throat for 3 days. I am absolutely fuming with her for putting my family at risk and for being so sneaky and not even mentioning it yesterday. How do I get past her behaviour ☹️

OP posts:
giantangryrooster · 03/01/2021 13:08

What strange responses.

If she felt bad enough to have a test, surely she should have told you and stayed away, common courtesy - bubble or not.

ghostyslovesheets · 03/01/2021 13:08

actually I misread your post - she didn't feel she had it yesterday and she's in your bubble - she's done nothing wrong

Plonque · 03/01/2021 13:09

I think it's irresponsible to go anywhere while you know you have suspected covid symptoms, much less lie by omission and go to someone's house, close family or not.

Original poster
mioz · 03/01/2021 13:09

@yesifibbed

If she has bubbled with your household and lives alone how has she managed to get COVID? Assuming she isn’t going out and getting her shopping delivered. And anyway a sore throat isn’t a sign
She lives alone but isn’t a recluse. She does her shopping and goes to work.
OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 03/01/2021 13:10

I would feel unhappy in your situation, it’s not as if she saw you and then developed a symptom the following day.

Original poster
mioz · 03/01/2021 13:10

@ghostyslovesheets

actually I misread your post - she didn't feel she had it yesterday and she's in your bubble - she's done nothing wrong
She said she’s had a sore throat for 3 days
OP posts:
Chambored · 03/01/2021 13:10

@Aprilx

You agreed to bubble with her! This effectively means she counts as part of your household. You being angry with her is like being angry with your DH if he got a sore throat - which is not a covid symptom anyway.

Perhaps unbubble yourself if you are going to be like this towards your mother.

This.
cushioncovers · 03/01/2021 13:10

She should have told you before coming to your house so that you could have made a decision on whether you wanted to see her. I would be annoyed as well.

OverTheRainbow88 · 03/01/2021 13:11

@Aprilx

Such bollocks, it’s totally different.

ActuallyIveGotDental · 03/01/2021 13:11

I've had a sore throat for days and not got a test because it's not one of the symptoms that qualifies you for one and I've no reason for concern otherwise.

I would expect that like me it didn't occur to her that it could be a problem, then something made her get tested and so she's informed you... makes sense to me!

BibbityBobbityBellend · 03/01/2021 13:11

I find the reSponses here really odd. Regardless of her being family or a bubble, she came to your house when feeling ill. She should have mentioned it to you so that it was your choice to take a risk. She obviously feels ill enough to get a test and has either lied to them or you if she is able to get a test.

This is exactly why it keeps spreading.

I would be pissed off and I'd tell her.

Original poster
mioz · 03/01/2021 13:11

Some of you are much more laid back than I am! I have a 1 year old and am 6 months pregnant so maybe that’s why I am so cross with her. I lost my job due to Covid and my DH is providing the only income so it wouldn’t be ideal for any of us to catch it. We’ve been very careful so far which she knows so I’m just cross that she’s lied by omission. Main symptom or not she felt unwell enough to get a test.

OP posts:
MrsBrunch · 03/01/2021 13:12

She should have told you she had a sore throat before she visited you OP.

Milkshake7489 · 03/01/2021 13:12

No idea why you're getting a bashing OP. If your mum felt bad enough to get a test she should have given you the option not to see her. I'd be annoyed too.

ancientgran · 03/01/2021 13:13

I understand that, but since when did the government start testing for Covid on the basis of a sore throat? No idea. Different for my son as he's a nurse, had no idea he had it but did his regular lateral flow test and it was positive. He felt fine except for a bit of a sore throat.

Hilda40 · 03/01/2021 13:13

How many times does it need to be stated there are many more and varied symptoms than the big three. I had a sinus headache and a drippy nose. I tested positive for covid.

feesh · 03/01/2021 13:14

Sore throat might not be an official symptom, but from reading accounts on here of people who’ve had it, it bloody well should be. I’d be fuming, OP!

tttigress · 03/01/2021 13:14

Maybe she doesn't have Covid?

Also Covid is not that dangerous for younger people like you, even if you are pregnant.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 03/01/2021 13:14

You bubbled with her. You seem so angry - she’s the one that could be ill.
Yes she cold have avoided you but she hasn’t got classic symptoms and is testing out of an abundance of caution - ie. because she’s worried she might have it and doesn’t want to pass it on.
Give her a break.... and don’t bubble with her if you you’re going to pop her out the bubble if she gets a test.

Winterwoollies · 03/01/2021 13:14

I can’t quite understand the responses on here. As we’ve all discovered, symptoms vary wildly. OP’s mum had had a sore throat for three days, and even though she wanted a Covid test for it, she still felt ok about going to her daughter’s house yesterday while potentially symptomatic. Bubble or not, that seems mental.

My cousin had it. First symptoms were sore throat and tiredness. She didn’t ever get a cough or anosmia.

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 03/01/2021 13:14

i think that was VERY selfish behaviour. She should have rung you and asked first.

LizzieMacQueen · 03/01/2021 13:15

Maybe you know this already but as you count as one household, you and your family need to self isolate.

chaosisaladder · 03/01/2021 13:15

If I’m understanding this right OP - your mum knew she had a sore throat yesterday

YES it’s not one of the holy grail three symptoms for a test but fuck me, I’ve known enough people get this virus with the oddest symptoms that I would be really pissed off

YANBU

Chanjer · 03/01/2021 13:16

Those saying how do you get a test for a sore throat...

You just click the button that says you've got symptoms Hmm

Original poster
mioz · 03/01/2021 13:16

@Terminallysleepdeprived

As others have said, a sore throat is not a symptom so either she is lying to you or on the covid test request.

Either way being angry at someone for being ill is pretty low OP, especially when the info you have does not relate to covid. Are there other issues with your dm?

I’m not angry at her for being ill Hmm I’m angry at her for knowing she was ill and lying. Even if it’s not bloody Covid she’s still come to see a pregnant woman and a 1 year old knowing she was ill.
OP posts: