So bloody cross with my Mum.

[mioz]

DM lives alone and has bubbled with my household. She came over yesterday for a cup of tea, all completely normal. She text me today to say she’s been for a COVID test as she’s had a sore throat for 3 days. I am absolutely fuming with her for putting my family at risk and for being so sneaky and not even mentioning it yesterday. How do I get past her behaviour ☹️

Look, there is little point in going by the big 3 symptoms any more from what I can see. 6 people including myself covid positive this week and none of the big 3 symptoms, but others like sore throat, headache, aches. The guidance needs to develop - no wonder it's spreading so fast

@YourNutsMeLord I don’t think that’s good enough. I’m in a bubble with mum, who is vulnerable, and as soon as soon as have I felt a slight twinge in my throat, I told her and we cancelled our plans and she went home. I didn’t know what it was but I wouldn’t risk my mum’s health. OP is similarly vulnerable at the moment.

@Jenasaurus

I am shocked by some of these responses. Even before COVID my parents would have stayed away if they were feeling unwell and may pass on a nasty sore throat or bug on to another family memeber, its a kind thing to do. A cup of tea with her pregnant daughter wasnt essential, she felt ill, surely she should have said "im feeling not well today, dont want to pass it on to you or my GC so will take a rain check on the cup of tea"

Well yes indeed, I rely very much on people being sensible around me while I'm immune suppressed.

The OP @mioz deserves the same, especially as she's pregnant.

Thanks to all the posters for the tips about lying to get a test. I guess the loss of smell is the easiest symptom to fake if going via the testing website.

There's no logic here; the op's mum has always potentially been able to catch and pass c-19 on because she goes out to work. That could have happened at any time. I do not know if the op and/or her husband are going out to work, shopping, etc. If they are, the same applies to them. All in that bubble were at risk.

If I and my immediate family were self isolating, having shopping delivered etc, I would not form a bubble with someone who goes out to work, travelling to and fro and mixing with people each day.

Agree with everyone else who has said A SORE THROAT IS A SYMPTOM. However we hope the op's mum's sore throat is not Covid-19. She was a bloody idiot to tell the op about it, frankly. What good has it done?

You don’t get a COVID test for a sore throat so if she’s downplayed her symptoms then you are right to be cross.

However if she’s just got a sore throat then she’s lied to get a test which in itself is appalling or you need to cut her a break because a sore throat alone is not indicative of COVID and could be any number of ailments.

If people are lying to get a test, are they then at least telling the truth once they get a positive result? If not then the officials will likely never extend the testing criteria to include other symptoms like a sore throat, headache, diarrhoea etc if they think that everyone gets one of the three listed symptoms (which clearly isn’t the case).

[quote pelosi]@YourNutsMeLord I don’t think that’s good enough. I’m in a bubble with mum, who is vulnerable, and as soon as soon as have I felt a slight twinge in my throat, I told her and we cancelled our plans and she went home. I didn’t know what it was but I wouldn’t risk my mum’s health. OP is similarly vulnerable at the moment.[/quote]
Good enough for what?

I was just sharing an example from my life. Not condoning or damning anything the OP or her mum did.

Lots of other countries suggest a covid test for a sore throat.

Out school does and most kids with a sore throat get a positive test.

Use your brains people, the U.K. has handled this so badly so I will look to other countries policies and see what they say, sore throat is a recognised symptom

@YourNutsMeLord

It sounded like an excuse. Anyway, I just gave my own experience.

Really confused by people attacking you on here OP. I’d be annoyed too. Sure you agreed to bubble with her but she should still have told you she was feeling unwell, regardless of if it’s one of the main three symptoms. Like others have said she’s felt unwell enough to get a test so why on earth would she come and sit in your kitchen with you. It’s irresponsible I’d be furious!

I’d be annoyed. I don’t understand why people can’t stay away from others when they are unwell. No wonder our hospitals are fucked. I hope for all your sakes it’s not COVID, as it’s a bloody horrible bug that can take months to get over. I know people who are still suffering breathlessness and fatigue months after they have had it. And it started with cold like symptoms.

I think your mother acted very inconsiderately @mioz

The negative responses on this thread are typical of some Mumsnetters, who routinely bash the OP, just for fun.

Well the op's mum clearly thought it could be covid as she got a test!

@inquietant, as i said in my earlier post, she probably didn't think anything of it until, on the third day either someone mentioned that it could be significant, or she read something that indicated that she should get a test.
Because that's exactly what happened to me. I thought my tickly throat wasn't significant (I'd been religiously checking my temp and oxymeter readings which were fine) but on day three I googled something and read that a tickle in the throat was worth testing for. And yes, I had to lie to get that test.

@PotteringAlong

A sore throat isn’t a symptom to get tested for.

It might not be, but it was my first symptom, and also one of my DCs.

@jessstan1

There's no logic here; the op's mum has always potentially been able to catch and pass c-19 on because she goes out to work. That could have happened at any time. I do not know if the op and/or her husband are going out to work, shopping, etc. If they are, the same applies to them. All in that bubble were at risk.

If I and my immediate family were self isolating, having shopping delivered etc, I would not form a bubble with someone who goes out to work, travelling to and fro and mixing with people each day.

Agree with everyone else who has said A SORE THROAT IS A SYMPTOM. However we hope the op's mum's sore throat is not Covid-19. She was a bloody idiot to tell the op about it, frankly. What good has it done?

I’m not upset that she’s potentially caught it because like you say I could have caught it from a shopping delivery etc. I’m annoyed that she thinks it’s ok to not tell her pregnant daughter and family that she’s been unwell for 3 days and then dash to get a test the next morning. We knew the risks when we made a bubble, it’s her behaviour I’m pissed off with, not her getting ill.

I would say she was unreasonable. As soon as she felt ill she should have taken no chances .

I guess it's the same answer as is often the case on here:

• if this is was one off action from a loving and supportive mum who often had your best interests at heart, then it would seem bonkers to be "furious" at her rather than just talk about it
• if this was the actions of someone who regularly pushes boundaries and is disrespectful of your wishes (as sounds like it might be the case from later posts) then anger seems both reasonable but also the result of much more than this singlular action

@Edgeoftheledge

Sore throat is not an offical symptom

Might not be. But apart from a slight fever that came and went the sore throat is what my ex has with covid.

Mumsnet baffles me. Of course she should have said something, I would have been annoyed!

YANBU, obviously. Even in normal times, it's really selfish and shitty not to warn someone you're coming down with something before you visit them. Colds, stomach upsets and so on are still miserable for everyone and it's not okay to just pass them on because they're 'just' viruses.

If she was concerned enough to get a test, then she should be considerate enough to have told you before she came over. I'd be annoyed too. Just tell her this and move on.

For those saying that the OP is overreacting, if the situation was reversed and she herself, had a sore throat for 3 days, then visited her mum for a cup of tea, Later sending her mum a message to say she has had a COVID test as had a sore throat for the last 3 days. I am betting everyone on here would say she was selfish seeng her mum with a sore throat.

Of course I’m concerned about her being ill too - she is not old (mid 50s) but seems to always have the ‘it won’t happen to me’ stance on everything!

YANBU OP. I would feel the same as you.

@yesifibbed

If she has bubbled with your household and lives alone how has she managed to get COVID? Assuming she isn’t going out and getting her shopping delivered. And anyway a sore throat isn’t a sign

Why would being in a bubble and living alone mean she isn't going out and can't get covid? I live alone, am in a support bubble with my DP, but I go out food shopping and I go out to work, and before tier 4 went to the hairdresser a couple of times and occasionally went into non-essential shops. All within the rules.