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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wanting sex at ridiculous times?!

233 replies

legalseagull · 03/01/2021 09:17

AIBU at being really pissed off at DH. It's not even 9am and yet he's come in to the bedroom with a brew (it's my turn for a lay in whilst he's got up with the 1yo and 3yo) Coffee is appreciated but he then immediately says "have a sip and perk yourself up 'wink wink'" Apparently the toddlers are downstairs plonked in front of the tv and he wants a quickie.
He doesn't think that's inappropriate or dangerous at all. They're not 9/10, the youngest is one year old!
Obviously I said no and he went off in a huff. He'll no doubt be feeling sorry for himself that I'm boring and he doesn't get enough.

OP posts:
tenlittlecygnets · 07/01/2021 13:12

So he doesn't respect your need for a lie in?? And is a sulky sex pest. Lovely.

tenlittlecygnets · 07/01/2021 13:16

I mean yeah it’s not totally appropriate but atleast he still wants to have sex with you.

Jesus. What is OP supposed to to, be grateful??? That her h has interrupted her lie in for a quick shag?? Jeez.

XaviersMum1 · 07/01/2021 13:22

@Uhhuhoyaye

For those who have difficulty conceiving, sex often takes place at ridiculous times.
If you're leaving a baby and a not long ago baby downstairs unattended to squeeze in a quickie, you wouldn't be TTC. It's one thing putting them in a pen or their cot, quite another to just leave them downstairs and pop up hoping you can wake the wife for a fuck
XaviersMum1 · 07/01/2021 13:29

Secondly,he must all you with flowers and gold each time he might feel an urge. Did you just call op a prostitute?

Redruby2020 · 07/01/2021 14:02

@UghNotThisAgain36 🤣🤣👏

Redruby2020 · 07/01/2021 14:03

@TwentyViginti Absolutely! Been there done that unfortunately 🤣 and never want to be in that situation again!

Redruby2020 · 07/01/2021 14:05

@Almostslimjim What? When you are supposed to be having a lie in? And two young kids downstairs, I couldn't enjoy it even if I tried, knowing that.

Unicant · 07/01/2021 14:08

I feel your pain. I hate morning sex... I am asleep... leave me alone... I dont even want to talk to anyone for a good hour after I have woken up let alone have sex with them... I would not react well at all to being woken up from a scheduled lie in
If men want sex (and you have very young kids) they should come to bed at a reasonable time with you.

Redruby2020 · 07/01/2021 14:16

@BeeDavis Oh please, my previous exP had it whenever he wanted, we didn't live together and probably done it more often than those who did live together, and he still went off and cheated.
Yes there are ways to build and maintain, if you can, a good relationship, but cheating still happens.

Almostslimjim · 07/01/2021 14:43

[quote Redruby2020]@Almostslimjim What? When you are supposed to be having a lie in? And two young kids downstairs, I couldn't enjoy it even if I tried, knowing that.[/quote]
God no, the person who interrupts my lie in would be shot!

But no, we almost never have sex after kids bedtime.

JessicaHyde · 07/01/2021 14:52

Make him watch antichrist and say "if that's what you want, that's what will happen"

Foodymucker · 07/01/2021 15:43

So following some people’s logic we can pop to the shops for 10 minutes as long as we leave the toddlers in a safe environment 🙄

BubblyBarbara · 07/01/2021 17:28

So following some people’s logic we can pop to the shops for 10 minutes as long as we leave the toddlers in a safe environment

Can your 3 year old shout up the stairs or come looking for you if you're in a shop quarter of a mile away? Thought not. Not even a comparable situation.

XaviersMum1 · 07/01/2021 18:26

@BubblyBarbara

So following some people’s logic we can pop to the shops for 10 minutes as long as we leave the toddlers in a safe environment

Can your 3 year old shout up the stairs or come looking for you if you're in a shop quarter of a mile away? Thought not. Not even a comparable situation.

I'd the 3 yo can come looking for you two floors away they're not in a secure environment and could fall down the stairs. So that would be irresponsible. And I doubt you'd hear much two floors away unless all the doors are open, and then the 60 seconds sex also needs to be quiet so you can hear them calling.

Sexy.

BubblyBarbara · 07/01/2021 18:50

I'd the 3 yo can come looking for you two floors away they're not in a secure environment and could fall down the stairs. So that would be irresponsible.

Yes if a child is SN and can’t navigate stairs alone safely at the age of 3 that makes sense. I was talking about more typical three year olds.

Original poster
legalseagull · 07/01/2021 22:02

@veronicalondon

Wow,how the dirty serf dared to ask for marital sex,the dog! He is your husband most likely to financially support all 4 of you and giving you time to rest,right? So what?he was born to cater for your sums and beg for sex,clearly,as you must feel like it otherwise,of course,it is a gross abuse. What? You could have smiled,kiss and whisper that he was incrediblysexy? Really? And say how you are waiting for the time kids would be in bed? But now he must go and look after them,as it is dangerous,they are still small. But you give him a kiss as you cannot resist him? No! This is too demeaning for you, why to play sweet games which keep the fire burning? Castrate all abusers,and he is clearly one of them,lecture them how to treat a woman. First,deny him sex. Secondly,he must all you with flowers and gold each time he might feel an urge. Thirdly,look disappointed and indignant as often as possible. Know your rights,he has none,of course,as men were mistreating women since ,well,for a very long time. Oh,looking repulsed whenheis satisfying his lowerly instincts is a ladylike stance.
What on earth are you on about?

Why would you assume he financially supports me?

OP posts:
Uhhuhoyaye · 07/01/2021 22:39

Veronica is suggesting your husband is a decent bloke and you treat him nastily.

XaviersMum1 · 07/01/2021 22:46

@BubblyBarbara

I'd the 3 yo can come looking for you two floors away they're not in a secure environment and could fall down the stairs. So that would be irresponsible.

Yes if a child is SN and can’t navigate stairs alone safely at the age of 3 that makes sense. I was talking about more typical three year olds.

But even typical 3 years have accident. I wouldn't be leaving my 3 yo to traipse up and down two flights of stairs, especially upset, unsupervised.
XaviersMum1 · 07/01/2021 22:47

@Uhhuhoyaye

Veronica is suggesting your husband is a decent bloke and you treat him nastily.
Even though he pays you for sex with flowers and gold
Uhhuhoyaye · 07/01/2021 23:05

I think Veronica is saying the woman is unresaonably demanding flowers and gold, although it is difficult to be sure as there appears to be a typo.

Biffbaff · 08/01/2021 00:33

@Uhhuhoyaye

I think Veronica is saying the woman is unresaonably demanding flowers and gold, although it is difficult to be sure as there appears to be a typo.
Yeah it's more like Nescafe Gold
hardboiledeggs · 08/01/2021 09:37

@veronicalondon Hmm

Original poster
legalseagull · 08/01/2021 15:31

 @Biffbaff

OP posts:
Original poster
legalseagull · 08/01/2021 15:32

GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
Almostslimjim · 08/01/2021 15:55

@Foodymucker

So following some people’s logic we can pop to the shops for 10 minutes as long as we leave the toddlers in a safe environment 🙄
That is not even comparable.

At home, I am within earshot, less that 30 seconds from my child.

At the shops, I can't hear my child and am more than 30 seconds away...

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