DH wanting sex at ridiculous times?!

[legalseagull]

AIBU at being really pissed off at DH. It's not even 9am and yet he's come in to the bedroom with a brew (it's my turn for a lay in whilst he's got up with the 1yo and 3yo) Coffee is appreciated but he then immediately says "have a sip and perk yourself up 'wink wink'" Apparently the toddlers are downstairs plonked in front of the tv and he wants a quickie.
He doesn't think that's inappropriate or dangerous at all. They're not 9/10, the youngest is one year old!
Obviously I said no and he went off in a huff. He'll no doubt be feeling sorry for himself that I'm boring and he doesn't get enough.

I quite like a bit of afternoon delight while the kids are watching a movie but OH knows the mornings are not when I feel sexy. I like to have had a wash and put some make up/clothes on.

My advice is to talk about and that say that morning breath sex just doesn’t do it for you.

"urgh I was only asking. Am I not meant to ask now"

Well yes that is the point isnt it. He was parenting and looking after his children that isnt the time to be asking

He isnt getting it at all is he. What a selfish man

Honestly. Who raises these guys?? You're not chattel. He's still back there, lingering in the 'lie back and think of England' mentality. Your vagina's not 'on duty', OP. God I want to give your 'D'H a slap. What's wrong with him? He can go bash one out in the loo if he's that bloody eager. Congratulations on your 3rd baby... HIM.

@Almostslimjim

arethereanyleftatall

Yes, but our house is set up so the children are safe on their own for short periods whilst we do housework, shower etc. I know that's not a popular Mumsnet view, but the reality is you cannot watch your children constantly, particularly if you have more than one so setting up the home to be safe for them is prudent. Cleaning up the eldest when he was sick all over himself took much longer than sex does.

It's not the home that's the biggest danger- it's the other child.

urgh I was only asking. Am I not meant to ask now

Also, what does he think 'asking' is? Because he's asking a 'yes or no' question but he's making it so that 'no' isn't a viable option.

Assuming you weren't abusive when you said 'no', the fault is in the fact that when he asks the question, he's not actually asking a question, but issuing a demand, with consequences.

@MeMarmiteYouJam

Sex pest - revolting.

Spending time with you, appreciating you, thinking of you - turn on.

Did he only bring the drink up so you would be awake enough to have sex with him?

Yes. If he knew he wasn't getting sex there's no way he would have bought me a drink

@justanotherneighinparadise

I quite like a bit of afternoon delight while the kids are watching a movie but OH knows the mornings are not when I feel sexy. I like to have had a wash and put some make up/clothes on.

My advice is to talk about and that say that morning breath sex just doesn’t do it for you.

I actually like morning sex but not with the kids downstairs on their own. It's dangerous

To clarify - we're two floors above the living room too so can't even hear them

I bet he is rubbish in bed.
No is a complete sentence.

My husband brings me a tea regardless of whether there’s any sex or not

Sounds like you really need to reconsider this relationship

Yes. If he knew he wasn't getting sex there's no way he would have bought me a drink

I think there's probably more going on here than just this issue alone? My exh was a sex pest, and it was part of an entire orchestra of wankery.

It's not the home that's the biggest danger- it's the other child.

Research would say otherwise, but I guess it also depends on your kids and home set up. OP says their bedroom is 2 floors above the lounge and they can't hear them, which is entirely different to our set up.

I'm further away when I'm cooking dinner in the kitchen than when I'm in my bedroom. And our kitchen is not suitable to have the kids in, so they are alone, in the living room or play room whilst I cook. I also have a bowel disorder and can be on the loo (upstairs) longer than it takes to have a quickie, and yes, I leave the kids alone when I do that as well.

I think there's probably more going on here than just this issue alone?My exh was a sex pest, and it was part of an entire orchestra of wankery.

Yes, sounds like it.

If we didn't have morning quickies, we'd never have sex!

these comments are funny.

I personally would've laughed and said F off and we would've laughed it away.

Just because he's woken up with horn doesn't make him a revolting sex pest as many have said.

Don't want it? just say no and leave it as that, why publish it on MN for women to tear him apart...

(Yes my husband can be a sex pest but if I say no it's left there, no dramas)

@MeMarmiteYouJam

Yes. If he knew he wasn't getting sex there's no way he would have bought me a drink

I think there's probably more going on here than just this issue alone? My exh was a sex pest, and it was part of an entire orchestra of wankery.

Thank you for my new username!

How is your sex life usually, and how is your communication in the relationship generally?

@Joiningthegossip

these comments are funny.

I personally would've laughed and said F off and we would've laughed it away.

Just because he's woken up with horn doesn't make him a revolting sex pest as many have said.

Don't want it? just say no and leave it as that, why publish it on MN for women to tear him apart...

(Yes my husband can be a sex pest but if I say no it's left there, no dramas)

Did you miss the bit where he went off in a huff when op said no? (Not to mention left a 1 y/o unattended so he could get his end away). It’s not the asking that’s the issue here, it is the awful attitude when told no.

So that's not a sex pest, then? If you say no, and there's no drama or sulking then that's not being a sex pest.

Being guilt-tripped into sex is horrible and rapey.

@OrchestraOfWankery what an honour.

(Yes my husband can be a sex pest but if I say no it's left there, no dramas)

No one should be a sex pest.

OP's husband is one of those sulking manchildren who makes life uncomfortable if he doesn't get to use his partners body at will.

[quote MeMarmiteYouJam]@OrchestraOfWankery what an honour. [/quote]

If the kids were safe and well occupied within earshot i wouldnt at all mind a sunday morning quickie, personally, especially if i got a brew into the bargain! I'm a morning person though and not touchy about lie ins...i know DP would prefer his sleep over a quickie 99% of the time if he was having a lie in

Sounds like another “Prince among men” 🤦‍♀️

Tell him to look after his kids.

@OrchestraOfWankery

(Yes my husband can be a sex pest but if I say no it's left there, no dramas)

No one should be a sex pest.

OP's husband is one of those sulking manchildren who makes life uncomfortable if he doesn't get to use his partners body at will.

Have to agree with this - even if the kids were safe it's a bit pathetic coming up and disturbing a long lie. The sulking - how pathetic - I would ignore him and let him get on with his child like sulk and enjoy my day.

@NoDontDoIt

If the kids were safe and well occupied within earshot i wouldnt at all mind a sunday morning quickie, personally, especially if i got a brew into the bargain! I'm a morning person though and not touchy about lie ins...i know DP would prefer his sleep over a quickie 99% of the time if he was having a lie in

And so OP should roll over?

Or did you not mean that? What's the relevance of your preferences to OP's situation?